want to read a few jokes?

Life before Computers

LIFE BEFORE THE COMPUTER

Memory was something you lost with age

An application was for employment

A program was a TV show

A cursor used profanity

A keyboard was a piano

A web was a spider's home

A virus was the flu

A CD was a bank account

A hard drive was a long trip on the road

A mouse pad was where a mouse lived

And if you had a 3-1/2 inch floppy ..

... you just hoped nobody ever found out

Sometimes

Sometimes, when you cry, no one sees your tears.

Sometimes, when you are happy, no one sees your smile.

But fart just one time....

Bad Cough

Outside a pharmacy in a busy street, a poor man is clutching onto a pole for dear life, not breathing, not moving, not twitching a muscle, just standing there, frozen.

The pharmacist, seeing this strange sight in front of his shop, goes up to his assistant and asks, "What's the matter with that guy? Wasn't he in here earlier?"

Assistant replies, "Yes he was. He had the most terrible cough and none of my prescriptions seemed to help."

Pharmacist says, "He seems to be fine now."

Assistant replies, "Sure, he does. I gave him a box of the strongest laxatives on the market. Now he won't dare cough!"

Congratulations

A new business was opening and one of the owner's friends wanted to send flowers for the occasion. They arrived at the new business site and the owner read the card; it said "Rest in Peace".

The owner was angry and called the florist to complain. After he had told the florist of the obvious mistake and how angry he was ,the florist said. "Sir, I'm really sorry for the mistake, but rather than getting angry you should imagine this: somewhere there is a funeral taking place today, and they have flowers with a note saying, "Congratulations on your new location."

Man Going Fishing

A man phones home from his office and tells his

wife, "I have a chance of a lifetime to go fishing

for a week, but I have to leave right away. So

pack my clothes, my fishing equipment, and my blue

silk pajamas. I'll be home in about an hour to

pick them up." He goes home, grabs everything,

and rushes off. He returns a week later and his

wife asks if he had a good time. He says, "Oh yes

great! But you forgot to pack my blue pajamas!"

His wife smiles and says, "Oh no, I didn't. I put

them in your tackle box!"