Help needed : when having arguments in couple ... my gf suddenly stops speaking !?

hey, guess what? we have the same problem...but here's what I did...some people do really have difficulty in expressing themselves verbally, but don't think that they are shutting themselves..all you've said to her are bottled up inside.. why not try sending her an email? it's what I did to my husband, and, whoa! he sent me a very long letter, all the answers I've been trying to coax out of him, everything was on the letter..so now, everytime we have an issue, i just express it via the internet... it's not the same as talking it out...but it's a way...good luck!

When she stops talking after you yelled or whatever, just take a deep breath and say your sorry but you've gotta say in the right way, it's kinda hard but i can tell you that the stuff guys do in the movies sometimes actually works!!!

So when she stops talking just look at her fr a few seconds then the ground and like act as though you've given in and say I'm sorry, but you've gotta say it like you really mean (no joke)!!

Try this and see if it works, also try taking deep breaths if you think your gonna shout or grab her, and be gentle otherwise she'll get pissed!!!

Good Luck!

Give her some space ... it works for me : ) Maybe something is just not right about her day and she's upset and a little spat can turn out to a major argument. Give her time to clear her head. It's not she doesn't love you but women do like to be wooed... so dinner or a flower would help from your garden or your neighbor's garden : ) Hope that works for her, too. Good luck and have a Merry Christmas!

I know that silence well, I do it to my wife when she seriously ticks me off. I close off my mind from the person talking to me, its not abnormal to do it, its just our way of not dealing with the matter at hand.

It also helps us control the words that want to come out from our mouths. Like insults and hurtful things. The only thing you can really do is apologize and give her a bit of attention. Let her cool down.

First of all, if you speak like you write, I don't blame her for not responding, she probably has to figure out what you are saying, because you are all over the place with your questions. Just because you speak in a calm voice does not mean you are not being insensitive.

When I know I've said my piece clearly and plainly, and he still does not hear me or understand- I try not to talk anymore to keep it from progressing into a tangent or another subject of argument.

IF you were to ever grab me or shout at me to provoke more argument, you would most likely be without my graces.

she doesn't want any arguments.. she believe that less talk less mistake..

and she want to discuss things when everything is normal again.

i do the same thing with my husband. if he talk.. i don't. this will help ease the tension and more discussions that will lead to more misunderstandings.

be considerate and try to be calm most of the time.

its her way of making you calm down and to get your attention it works doesn't it! you hate the silent treatment as everyone does. i will also tell you that she is thinking, her mind is not blank! she is thinking how her life would be different with out you, the pros and the cons. as for getting her to talk to you tell her that when she is ready to talk your their waiting! then give her her space and leave her alone when she is ready she will come to you till then drop it:)

It sounds like she has some conflict fear. I am not a professional. I would get some professional advice if I were her. It sounds like you really care about her. Good luck to you both.

Maybe you should stop grabbing and shouting - most women don't react well to abusive behaviour like that.