How do you change a 44 year old man.?

Hi Granny... First off, you or I can not change anyone else.. we can only change ourselves... Therefore, I would suggest some negotiating on the things you would like him to do.. for example: "Look, I would really like you to wash the pots and pans what can I do if anything, to make you want to do that??"

and so the negotiations begin... This doesn't mean it will work, but at least you are both negotiating about it... you will win some and you will lose some... but the process can become a lot of fun instead of moaning, complaining.. etc.

- good luck.

Well the only way to change anyone is by teaching. The older a person get the more set in their ways they become. Tell him...if the clothes are not put in the hamper they won't get washed. If he continues don't wash anything that is not in the hamper. The best way I have found to work a situation like you have ...such as the living room is to do the same thing to them so they see how it feels. It is hard to do as it goes against how you are, but sometimes it works. Such as ...if it takes him two months to do a job that is important to you, take two months to finish or do something that is important to him. With the dishes..leave them, if you don't have clean pans to cook in just make sandwiches, tell him "well the pans aren't clean". If you continue to clean up after him he will not change anything because there is no consequence. Make him see what his lack of motivation is doing.

A Person Can Only Be Willing To Make Changes For Themselves, Other's Can-not Do That For Them... Try Praising His Accomplishments, And Then Ask, In A way What Would Help You Better Is If He Would "____________" To Lighten The Load On You. Men In Their Old Habits, Find It Hard To Break, Also, Cut The Cord On The TV... hee-hee Just Kidding

Men are men! Some get better with age and others become more needy as time goes on. My husband would do alot of things you are talking about all the time. Learn to pick your battles for instance I would say the unpainted living room becomes priority over some dirty pots and pans. Fight the battles you know have a chance winning and graciously lose the others. You will probably never get him to change.

#1) YOU can't change him, he has to change himself.

#2) You need to try to be thankful for what he DOES do instead of getting irritated about what he doesn't do. Be thankful that he makes the bed, puts the clothes by the washer instead of in the middle of the floor for you to pick up.

I will share a little story that I think of a lot when I start getting irritated about the little things that aren't really important.

A newly wed and her widowed grandmother are sitting aroung one day talking. The grandmother asks her grandaughter how she likes the married life. She said, "Grandma, I am so tired of having to walk around behind him and pick up his dirty socks and underwear that I am at my witts end." To which the grandma answered, "Honey, I know what you mean, but now I just wish your grandpa was here to pick up after."

Don't sweat the petty things. One day the person you love may not be there to do those things for. Cherish the good things you have while you have them. God hasn't given them to you forever.

Simple answer? You don't.

These things are annoying, yes, but they are little things. Be grateful that your relationship is so good that the only things you have to worry about is him being a sloppy procrastinator.

My husband has been battling a drug addiction since before I met him, and I only found out this year, four years into our marriage and 8 months after our daughter was born.

Once you are in a situation where you realize that you have been living a lie, you'll wish your only problems were his sloppiness.

I'm sorry, I don't want to depress you, but you really are lucky if these are your only complaints. Good luck.

How to change a man???? Doesn't matter how old they are. LOL. What me and my husband have done is make a list of thing he's responsible for and things I'm responsible for. Sounds like he's doing some things...which is great. Many of us would kill for a husband to wash the dishes.

Just meet in the middle. Just remember, you can't change them...but you can tweak them up a bit.

Ok, here's a suggestion for ya:

NEVER TRY TO CHANGE ANYONE!

If they wanna change, it's ok to help them do it, but if they don't u're wasting ur time. What u CAN do, is change yourself: try accepting reality as it is, or making the choice to get out of the situation. Try making deals with him, and don't accept bending the rules. People treat you the way u teach them to treat you.

Also, I think u should both stop focusing on these tiny stuff in the relationship that are annoying, and start focusing on the good things and moments u live with him.

how about positive feedback for the stuff he does that you want him to do that you have asked him to do?

Praise, thanks, for the things he does for you and does well....

extra praise and thanks when he accomplishes something he does that he hasn't done...

"Thanks, Joe, for bringing your dirty clothes to the hamper...I appreciate it....did you know it would be easier for me to make sure to not miss any clothes if you could get them INTO the hamper?"

"Thanks for the help with the dishes....how about if I do the dishes this time, and you do the pots and pans?"

"How about if we do the stuff TOGETHER?"

Why did you not HELP with the painting....or do it so badly that he took over and finished it more quickly....

And by the way, maybe you are set in your ways as well?

stop complaining and accept his flaws. You just have to realize that those things are not his thing. I am sure he does other things better. It seems like you are complaining alot. Do you know how many women would kill if their husbands did half the things your husband does. I did however hear something interesting about men, you should praise them when they do things and don't say anything if they do little things that bother you. Eventually they will want the praise and start doing things to receive it.