I am taking a survey regarding my two at home adult children.?

This is a tough call. My son is 19, and like you, I can visualize him still here at 26 or 36 haha.. and I love my kids dearly, but as parents, we want our kids to become productive beings in society and be able to function on their own. I never believed in room and board for my kids, but that was before he graduated from highschool. The economy is so bad that even though I know my son would like to get a place of his own, he just will not be able to afford it alone. But your son is older, and makes more money. I would not be able to do the room and board thing, but I can certainly say 'you got 1/4 of the utility bills, and grocery bills". My son, even though only working at mcdonalds, does contribute to household bills as needed. My daughter on the other hand, is a senior in highschool, and I have been a single mom for some years now, working many hours a week, and even though I give her money all the time, she cleans the house.. a lot.. so she earns her keep haha so to speak. This has probably not been much help, but I do know that about 8 months ago, my son was here, not working, having his friends over all the time, and I kicked him out of the house. That lasted about 3 days.. He called me and said "mom? can I come home? I will get a job and do what I am supposed to do". I think that maybe you need to do the same with your son. I have pissed off both of my kids in the last year.. but.. we do have to sometimes give them a push to make them get their life together. We as parents are unconditional love anyways, will always be there for them, but we at least need to make them try.. it is not healthy for them to never leave home...and we need to teach them responsiblity for themselves, whether they want it or not... in your case.. charge the rent or they have to move on. The threat of that might even make your daughter make a few changes.. See, we as parents also I think (thanks to society and the csb crap) are afraid today to do and say what is necessary, forget all that and just go back to the old days.. it is working for me.. :)

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Child 2 could take care of the house functions to help pay her way. Cleaning and cooking would not be unreasonable at all.

Child 1 does need to contribute by helping with the food bill, utilities and cleaning his own room. $300 to $400 a month would be a good place to start, depending on your cost of living.

You are raising two "freeloaders" that have absolutely no responsibilities; therefore do not have to function as maturing adults. It is time that you and your husband prepared them to be on their own by making them accept some of the responsibilities around your house.

Child # 1 needs to get out on his own. He has no bills and makes $2500.00/month. He is an adult and if he continues to stay at home it is going to turn into an after school special. Child # 2 needs to help out around the house if nothing else. She should have a part time job to supplement her need for $$$. If she is going to school and doing well and you are okay with her being home go for it but she should be paying for something. Good luck and Happy New Year.

Honey, I'd write a bill for your son. A bill with a due date and what he owes retro. If he doesn't pay his bill on time, tell him it's time to be a big boy and find a place of his own. Don't let him make you feel guilty, he's grown, mom's job is DONE.

Your girl is a student, good. Perhaps she should find a part time job and chip in a bit for food or you could "suggest" that it would be very helpful to you if she could help some around the house.

Either way, they both need to cut the cord.

Ok I will add my 2 cents worth to this story. I have a 24 year old son who will be starting a new job tomorrow, full time. He helps pay utilities and cell phone bills and will buy groceries or dinner or lunch on occasion. Since his new job will be a commute for him I think he will be considering a move closer to his job location.

I also have a 26 year old daughter who is in school part time and looking for a job. So she cannot contribute to the household expenses much less pay her own bills. So we all help her out when needed.

Child #1 probably needs to be out on his own. I'm 27, make about the same amount and am married and just bought my second house. He needs to get his life going!

Child #2 might be OK to stay home, but needs to use her free time to make some money and contribute to the family.

Both are not learning anything by getting a free ride at home!

Ouch!! hurts just reading it. I was out on my own at 18, working full time and school, so its hard to sympathize with these kids. They have it too good to leave, I wouldn't leave either. First of all, your daughter can work, she can and she will if you cut off the dough. Tell your son that if he wants to stay that he needs to pay a good amount for rent and food. You might tell him that you are collecting an amount to put away for his 1st house but are taking what you need for expenses. I'm guessing you and your spouse will want to retire some day, do you see that happening if this continues? Making them fend for themselves will help them, it will help them grow up and mature.

Hey i'm 22 and I pay $745 and make about $1000ish.

Child one: I think the fair amount of rent should be how much you pay in bills to live there plus a little extra for repairs (same as any management place). But I would really push to move them out.

Child two: Have her work. I had to live in a $640 per month apartment at her age. Help her gain enough confidence to feel she is ready to move out on her own.

Child No. 1/26 years old-Out of the house by April 1st

Child No. 2/20 years old-Part time job by April 1st.