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Is this a normal reaction when you are pregnant?

I am pregnant for the first time--at 38. I am single, so there is no father around. I have waited and wanted a child for so long, so I am obviously excited at the prospect of having a child. I am currently 14 weeks pregnant. :)

The one thing I am having difficulty with is I am terrified of having a boy. While I know on a logical level that I will love my child regardless of whether or not I have a girl or a boy, I am having dreams that my son will grow up and never be around or that he will marry a woman who hates me and keeps him from me and we won't have a relationship in his adulthood. I keep thinking that if I have a girl, I will have a close relationship with my daughter, but if it is a boy, I won't. Why am I thinking this way? Is this a normal pregnancy thing?

I have a 18 month old nephew whom I adore and get along well with--so why would I think otherwise of my own child? I would love to hear if others have had this same experience and how you dealt with it.

12 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    hormones can do some crazy things when you're pregnant. I think that you're thinking too far into it and you have nothing to worry about. I'm sure that if you raise him right he will have a wonderful respect for women because he will grow up knowing how wonderful his mommy is :) Good luck

  • Cara M
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago

    I think it's perfectly natural. I really was worried about having a boy too. I got lucky and am having a girl. But the more I read the pregnancy books and the odds of having a child with special needs, the more I understood that the most important thing is having a healthy child regardless of whether it's a boy or girl.

    One thing you have on your side is that boys are close with their mothers (Mama's Boys vs. Daddys' Girls). So I don't think you will have to worry about him being close to you. He'll grow up understanding women a little better than some of his friends... he'll probably meet a wonderful girl that you adore!

    Just be happy to have a healthy baby! :)

  • 1 decade ago

    I have a boy and a girl and let me tell you.. my son is the sweetest little thing. My daughter only wanted me for food and entertainment. She'd not want held, would see me if hurt then be on her way.

    My son on the other hand is a lover. He cuddles with me. Loves for me to read to him. Kisses me and says "I love you Mommy" he is just a sweetheart. He is definitely mommas boy. Although he will someday grow up and leave me.. he and I are inseperable right now. My daughter is now 6 and she already has an attitude like a teenager.

    Try to relax. Maybe you think that with no men in your life, that it just means that every man will leave you- including your son. Nomatter what you have, just be a good mother and be thankful for it.

    It is all nurture not nature that determines how your children behave. You can have a sensible boy or girl as long you raise them right so that when they leave the nest, they will still keep you close to their heart and never farther than an arm's reach away.

  • Thats wild you got empty nest syndrom before you even have a child. I wish I was having a boy. I dunno why but I jus see myself better as a mother to a boy than a girl. To be honest girls are horrible. Esspecially as time goes on. I know you think its gonna be like Gilmore Girls or something. Which it probably will be after shes old enough and settled down having her own children. I love my mother too death we spend more time together than anyone else. But when I was younger and BP (before pregnancy) I never hung out with her. Either way childen are going to break your heart over and over again. Doesn't matter if its a boy or girl. Its very normal for you to feel afraid though. I'm more afriad of the time I will be spending with my daughter than the part where she grows up and goes away. Being a parent is horrifying to me. Your kids will always love you as you love them just keep that in mind.

    After the hormons level out like a month after birth hopefully all this worry you are having will go away. I really hope mind does I'm driving myself mad! I worry about everything.

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  • 1 decade ago

    Pregnancy hormones are wacky but let me tell you that I am the mother of a little boy and I couldn't love him any more. He is the best thing in the world and I couldn't imagine life without him.

    Just feel confident in knowing that you will love your child whether it is a girl or a boy. Trust me!

  • Blondi
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago

    You will feel differently when your baby is born. You will be soooo in love no matter what. I have 3 boys and always wanted a girl , but as soon as my boys were born, it was so wonderful. Im now finally having a girl and dont know what to do or wonder how I will feel..lol. Dont worry, Im sure its normal to think that way.

  • 5 years ago

    there is an entire blend of thoughts occurring there, that's thoroughly common. specific, there is exhilaration, in spite of the undeniable fact that it is likewise tempered with some trouble over the well being of this toddler, and of direction the certainty that having a toddler is a enormous existence-replace. It ability a great number of latest costs, not extra spontaneous nights out on city mutually, a good purchase much less sleep, and a pointy drop-off in intercourse.

  • KD
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago

    The first thing is this: don't worry. This is your baby. And they come out as babies, not boys or girls (that takes about 2.5 years, and by then, you'll see it coming).

    For another thing: when you have boys, you become a goddess. He will never marry a girl you don't like as long as you're deeply involved in his life. He'll look for a girl like you.

    Source(s): Two boys. I've stayed home with them, and they are the Princes of the Universe. Each of them loves each other, and they love me like they love oxygen. Be with your baby. He'll thank you.
  • 1 decade ago

    I would suggest to focus on your well-being for the moment which will result in well-being for your baby (boy or girl).

    The morals you give him while raising him up will determine a lot of things... So enjoy your pregnancy... This is a wonderful stage for any woman... Dont sweat the small stuff sweetie...

    Source(s): Mother of a 7 month old boy also single no father around
  • 1 decade ago

    But just the opposite could be true, too. A daughter could marry and disappear while a boy can grow and be very close to you all of his life. Gender is irrelevant.

    I think you feel like this because of your age and being single. Trust is the issue here. Please send check to....

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