In Tom Lehrer's song "My Home Town", what is the next line...?

That fellow was no fool

Who taught our Sunday School,

And neither was our kindly Parson Brown -

(We're recording tonight, so I'll have to leave this line out.) *

In my home town.

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Notes

* In the studio recording this line is: "I guess I better leave this line out just to be on the safe side".

* In some live performances, this line is given as: "Shall I? No, I'd better not."

* The question that comes up over and over again is what is the line that is being omitted here? Answer: There isn't one. Leaving it to the imagination is funnier than any line could be. But for those who doubt that, feel free to try to come up with one and send it in. I've had little luck myself. One possible line I've come up with is "He knew to pull the blinds at all the 'parish meetings' in my Home Town," which at least has the virtue of having the proper number of syllables, but is hardly worse (or even as bad) as most of the lines that didn't get omitted. Anybody think they can do better? (I mean worse)

ARTIST: Tom Lehrer

TITLE: My Home Town

I really have a yen to go back once again

Back to the place where no one wears a frown

To see once more those super-special just plain folks

In my home town

No fellow could ignore the little girl next door

She sure looked sweet in her first evening gown

Now there's a charge for what she used to give for free

In my home town

I remember Dan, the druggist on the corner, 'e

Was never mean or ornery

He was swell

He killed his mother-in-law and ground her up real well

And sprinkled just a bit over each banana split

The guy that taught us math who never took a bath

Acquired a certain measure of renown

And after school he sold the most amazing pictures

In my home town

That fellow was no fool who taught our Sunday school

And neither was our kindly Parson Brown

I guess I'd better leave this line out just to be on the safe side

In my home town

I remember Sam, he was the village idiot

And though it seems a pity, it

Was so

He loved to burn down houses just to watch the glow

And nothing could be done because he was the mayor's son

The guy that took a knife and monogrammed his wife

Then dropped her in the pond and watched her drown

Oh, yes indeed, the people there are just plain folks

In my home town

Tom LEhrer s own answer is, "I left it vague on person, as it was funnier to let the audience come up with something in their own minds. Most nights when I performed the song, I usually said something along the lines that local law enforcement or the town judge, or whoever was the prevailing censor in that community, "encouraged" me to omit that line.. I had to stop performing it as people would come up to me after the performance, curious about what was that line.They were real pests."

Tom Lehrer Lyrics

With the Methodist Church's funds they did abscond

In my home town

Bill Schoen

Clarkston MI