What the heck is CLOSURE?!?!?!?!?!?!?

Closure (psychology), the state of experiencing an emotional conclusion to a difficult life event, or, a point in the development of an artifact where social understanding and interpretation reaches consensus

Closure means that you find a resolution to a situation. You hardly ever want that resolution to be a "get lost"! That's not healthy, if the only way you can deal with a sad situation is to completely get rid of anything having to do with it. What if you had a fight with a family member :) Your aim should be to find a HEALTHY closure, which means you talk about what went wrong, appreciate the things that went well, learn something from it all, and then go on being friends and sharing the good parts. If every relationship ended by saying "it was all awful, nothing was good, get lost" then you don't really learn anything and grow.

Closure is very important, and closure involves talking honestly about what went on in this whole situation. So find a neutral place that it's quiet and you can talk together. Have a good meal first so you're full and comfortable. Then talk! Talk first about the *good* things. Go over the good things you had together, the fun times you had. Talk about the things that were special in the relationship. It's very important to understand what the good was, so you remember those things for future use. Those are the positive things you learned from this relationship.

Then, after you've gone through those, talk about the *challenges* you had. Don't make them into "bad things". They were things that challenged your relationship that you were not able to find solutions to. Don't make it into a "you refused to do laundry!" kind of accusation. That serves no purpose. But make a list of things that together you could not overcome. So things like "we couldn't agree on an equitable division of chores that we both could live with." You can both agree that was a problem, without getting into the details, and now you know that this is something that you have to work on in the future. Because every challenge that isn't met is because the two people couldn't agree on a solution or find a compromise, meaning that at least some of the responsibility falls on each individual.

At the end, you should still treasure the good! And there's no reason you can't keep being friends and talking. And now that you understand better the challenges that you faced and weren't able to work on, you'll know to watch for those in your next relationship. So your next relationship should have a better chance, because of the knowledge you've gained.

Closure to me is putting the end to some sort of sitution. I think of it more as a good thing- that allows someone to move on again and function better. But, now that I think about it, there could be bad closure, too. Maybe a breakup. It isn't good, but it is a definite end to some lingering sitution (heavy fighting, etc.) I always yell out my boyfriend because I feel like we never have any closure when we fight. There are issues that bother me so much and eat me up. I say to him, "I need some closure!" For me, it's a resolved answer that will ultimately lead to some peace and clear cut decision.

Here are some more proper definitions brought to you by www.dictionary.com

1. the act of closing; the state of being closed.

2. a bringing to an end; conclusion.

3. something that closes or shuts.

4. closer (def. 2).

5. an architectural screen or parapet, esp. one standing free between columns or piers.

6. Phonetics. an occlusion of the vocal tract as an articulatory feature of a particular speech sound. Compare constriction (def. 5).

7. Parliamentary Procedure. a cloture.

8. Surveying. completion of a closed traverse in such a way that the point of origin and the endpoint coincide within an acceptably small margin of error. Compare error of closure.

9. Mathematics. a. the property of being closed with respect to a particular operation.

b. the intersection of all closed sets that contain a given set.

10. Psychology. a. the tendency to see an entire figure even though the picture of it is incomplete, based primarily on the viewer's past experience.

b. a sense of psychological certainty or completeness: a need for closure.

11. Obsolete. something that encloses or shuts in; enclosure.

–verb (used with object), verb (used without object) 12. Parliamentary Procedure. to cloture.

It's a way to finalize something in a way that makes it clear to everyone that there's no going back.

For many people, getting "closure" on a relationship that has ended makes it possible for the participants to be sure that there isn't a chance that they won't get back together. It can mean a "have a nice life" conversation or even a big fight.

Closure is when you go thru a door and you close it. Sort of. It's finally realizing you are divorced and you move on. It's waking up one day knowing your husband was killed on 9/11 at the Twin Towers and you go fix breakfast for your kids. It's waking up in Iraq and knowing you could die today-closure is acceptance.

I think, but I don't know cuz I only know this definition. It's when there is a restriction on certain unwanted activities in certain places. Such as smoking.

There are other definitions too. In google, type in "define: closure". And you get a bunch of definitions.

Finally being done with it. Deciding you have spent far too much time there and going ahead in another direction. Getting over it. It's done and old news. That was yesterday.

What do I want to do now and where do I want to go to start a new life? It's finished business.

dont worry... tough question. in a relationship it is when the other person wants to make sure that it is 100% over!! For example, if you found out that they were hooking up with another person, you would not be mad, angry, jealous, etc. In other words, they dont want to have any obligation to you what so ever. Hope this helped.

I have had the exact same thing happen after listing several items. I had to go to the library every day to make sure nobody had emailed me any questions. Alot of coffee shops and bookstores have "free" computers also. Plan ahead.

End of unresolved feelings about an event or person. When thoughts about it become neutral rather than emotional