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? asked in Entertainment & MusicJokes & Riddles · 1 decade ago

best punch line ever?

The driver

After getting all of the Pope luggage loaded into the limo, (and he doesn't travel light), the driver notices that the Pope is still standing on the curb.

"Excuse me, Your Holiness," says the driver, "Would you please take your seat so we can leave?"

"Well, to tell you the truth," says the Pope, "they never let me drive at the Vatican, and I'd really like to drive today."

"I'm sorry but I cannot let you do that. I'd lose my job! And what if something should happen?" protests the driver, wishing he'd never gone to work that morning.

"There might be something extra in it for you," says the Pope.

Reluctantly, the driver gets in the back as the Pope climbs in behind the wheel. The driver quickly regrets his decision when, after exiting the airport, the Pontiff floors it, accelerating the limo to 105 mph.

"Please slow down, Your Holiness!!!" pleads the worried driver, but the Pope keeps the pedal to the metal until they hear sirens.

"Oh, dear God, I'm gonna lose my license," moans the driver.

The Pope pulls over and rolls down the window as the cop approaches, but the cop takes one look at him, goes back to his motorcycle, and gets on the radio.

"I need to talk to the Chief," he says to the dispatcher.

The Chief gets on the radio and the cop tells him that he's stopped a limo going a hundred and five.

"So bust him," says the Chief.

"I don't think we want to do that, he's really important," said the cop.

The Chief exclaimed," All the more reason!"

"No, I mean really important," said the cop.

The Chief then asked, "Who ya got there, the Mayor?"

Cop: "Bigger."

Chief: "Governor?"

Cop: "Bigger."

"Well," said the Chief, "Who is it?"

Cop: "I think it's God!"

Chief: "What makes you think it's God?"

Cop: "He's got the f***ing Pope as a chauffeur!!"

17 Answers

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  • sharon
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    HOLY CRAP a snort came out when I was laughing I never snort.........You made me snort....hahahahaha

  • 1 decade ago

    got one...2 women meet in heaven, one says to the other "how did you die"? She replys "I froze to death, how about you?" the other lady says "I suspected my husband of fooling around, so I came home to catch him and searched the house for the mistress. I looked in all the usual hiding places with no luck, so I go so mad and worked myself into a fever and had a heart attack and here I am" The other woman replyed, "Dam, you should have looked in the freezer, then we'd both be alive"

  • 1 decade ago

    the new minister:

    at church one Sunday....

    the crowd sat quietly waiting for the sermon to start....

    the preacher said good morning and proceeded to give his people that bad news....

    "I'd like to start this morning by telling you fine folks... that today day will be my last day up here... it's time that i retire.....

    but i have brought this nice young lady with me today....

    she would like to take over ......

    does anyone have any problem with that?

    all were okay....

    but one little old man....

    he raises his hand.....

    and said....

    i most certainly do have a problem with this...

    i always go fishing with the preacher on Saturdays....

    and i don't think this young lady would be much of a fisherman...

    of course... she wants to win this man over and said

    sir.... i would love to go fishing with you...

    the following Saturday.... off to the lake they went...

    in the boat... the little old man casts his rod ...... and sticks the hook in the tree....

    my only hook says the man... now what am i going to do?

    the woman said... don't worry.... I'll go get it for you.....

    she stands up in the boat and steps out....

    walks across the water and gets his hook out of the tree....

    the little old man watches her in disgust... shaking his head... saying to himself.....

    i should have known ...... she cant even swim......

    Source(s): lol..... not the best but one of my favorites.... thanks for the smiles guys the other jokes were great
  • 1 decade ago

    definitely the last one.Cop: "He's got the f***ing Pope as a chauffeur!!"

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  • 1 decade ago

    lol thats funny 10/10

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    HA! Nice one. :)

    I've got some good ones, but I doubt they'd get any better than that. :P

  • 1 decade ago

    rofl funny bone tickles me

  • 1 decade ago

    Cute... I like that...May many stars come your way!

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    funny

  • 1 decade ago

    lol nice

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