I did the right thing, right?

Yes, you did the right thing. In the martial arts, there is no first attack.

You showed him up for what he is, a manner-less, loud-mouthed punk.

People that say you shouldn't have said anything are idiots. Martial arts is all about honour and there is nothing more honourable than standing up for someone that is being intimidated by someone else. Regardless of who was right and wrong that is no way to treat someone, and clearly if the bouncers decided to throw out the guy that you were talking to who was part of a couple then he was either to drunk to be there or they had their eye on him already other wise they would have thrown you both out.

As for the fighting him part, there is nothing wrong with assessing the situation for what you can do to defend yourself should the situation esculate. That does not mean that you are trying to get physical it just means that you are prepared. And as for did you do the right thing not attacking him then yes you did, besides do you really spend all of your time training just to waste your time with some untrained drunk that probably wouldn't even give you a decent workout.

Now please can we all stop being so weak and hiding behind the ethics of martial arts. We should all take a leaf out of this man's book and stand up for people whenever we can, what's next? Do we turn the other way when we see someone getting bashed in the street? Do we roll over and go back to sleep when you hear someone screaming for help in the middle of the night? No one is saying that you have to be a super hero just a decent human being for once let's get past all this polictally correct bollocks help each other out.

Martial Arts is fighting, use it to help if you can.

People who crap on about the ethics and honour quickly forget about the tradtitional thoughts about honour. Samurai would kill themselves if they dishonoured themselves, would you do that? Martial artists would challange and fight people to save face because of an insult or to prove that their techniques were superior. All this honour that westerns spout on about is a way of hiding from confrontation and staying out of trouble with the law.

I can't say that I've never been in a bar but bars are only places for that kind of trouble to start anyway. For martial artists and the laws the way they are today this could mean serious trouble physically and legally. Anyone can shout profanities that don't physically hurt anyone. I completely understand what you were trying to do and can't say that I wouldn't have done the same thing. The way I see it you put yourself in a potentially bad situation by getting involved in words. By all means never let a man physically harm a woman or someone weaker but as martial artists we have to be careful which battles we choose to fight. There will always be someome disrespecting someone else with words but we can't go through life standing up for everyone who is being cussed at. I applaud you for standing up for the woman because many out there wouldn't have cared. Just becareful when you put yourself in the position to use your training and make sure it will be worth the consequences you may have to pay because of it.

I say NO.. you did the WRONG thing... and here's why.

First, the right thing never needs affirmation or becomes questioned. I've never seen the question on the family board.. "this girly at the bank smiled at me, but I just took my kids and went home to my wife... did I do the right thing???" or "my parents/wife/girlfriend asked me where I was last night.. I could have lied and told them I was out with a prostitute, but instead I told them the truth, that my car was acting up and I ran late... was that the right thing to do??"

Secondly, the right thing is to finish what you start.. if you were truly being passive, then not getting involved directly and notifiying security to begin with would have been the right thing, or if it was the time to take a stand against this person's offenses then you should have taken a bold stand and not have moved from your position. You didn't have to make a move or even result to violence.. but you could have pursued the matter till it was complete.

Thirdly, martial arts is not passive... the arts of war are not "peaceful" I don't know where this philosophy on MA has come from lately but it is a bit ridiculous. When you go to driver's ed, they don't teach you.. how to drive, but the ultimate goal is to never drive anywhere, ever, under any circumstances. At a handgun class they don't teach you how to shoot, but ultimately, you should get to a point, you always leave the gun at home, never take it out leave it clean and withthe firing pin removed.. hell.. lose the firing pin. If you're truly a martial artist you have to learn when to sit and when to stand, do both fully. When to exercise patience and instruction, and when to exercise disdain and correction. That definitely seemd like a time for disdain and correction.

Lastly, the whole point of martial arts is to better our life and the lives of everyone around you. If we cannot, as a group, come together, and take a stand against the stupidty, rudeness, and arrogance of a group of stupid kids.. how can we possibly believe we can come together as a group to sustain tradition, values, ethics.. those two seem to go hand in hand.

FYI.. if you didn't know, that guy KNEW you weren't going to do anything.. which is why he kept mouting off.. my personal experience has shown that when someone truly believe you will not be walked over and you will react, they back down.. becaue they know you won't. You my friend, got in a battle of wills, and you lost. The only thing you proved to that man that night.. was that he could have his way if he yelled enough. the lesson learned.. next time don't be so much of a jerk that security has to get involved.. learn the line between acceptable amounts of jack off he can be without getting booted. That is not the lesson he should have come away with.

I kinda stopped and skipped around but I got the picture. I think, and this is just my view, you wanted some sorta conflict or you wouldn't have confronted the guy in the first place. There were no punches thrown just a guy that was getting lippy. You knew that if you confronted the guy he would get defensive. I could see getting involved if the guy was getting physical, he wasn't he was just mouthing off to the woman. You wanted to have conflict and you were sure that it wouldn't get to the fighting stage and then you could feel good about defending the women and you knew the guy would look like more of an *** than before. (I wasn't there and could be wrong, but I've seen enough to guess that was how it was)

You did the right thing!!!!!

Hurting some punk with what you learned is not the answer.

In most martial arts they teach self discipline, meaning how to control yourself in tough situations, knowing when and when not to use what you have been taught.

I am sure your Sensei would be proud of you for your restraint.

As a Judo instructor, I am happy to hear of students that have grown in their art to not turn to physical toughness as a means to handle situations.

If you had, you may have won the heart of the women but you may have picked up a few challengers along the way, most wanting to see how tough you really are.

By handling the problem at the lowest level they will be wondering without knowledge of your true strengths.

Great Job!!!!

you handled yourself very well. If you had gotten into a fight, then both of you would have been dragged out and maybe ad a street fight. Then cops would have come. However, even then, I'm sure the old lady would speak on your behalf, yet that might not account for people speaking on the punk's behalf.

By letting the security handle it, you avoided much trouble. Kuddos. Also, that farewell wave and your calm demeanor was more pain instilling than punching him. The way he was asking tells tales that he WANTED you to knock his lights out. By not giving that masichist what he wanted, you caused him to get more pissed at himself.

"There's a nice, solid, table right over there in which I could easily and suddenly throw him head first. That way, next time he felt like mouthing off, the memory of the searing pain of broken bones would remind him of the importance of good manners."

you had some pretty negative intentions in your head already...so Im thinking maybee you could have been wrong, why did you not just keep quiet, it wasnt your problem?

Last week, thursday...I was in the bakery cleaning the floors, and I heard a loud crash at the door and I taught wtf was that, so I ran over towards the door to see what was up, when I got there were a couple roughly about my age, he walked right past me, I smelt alcohol, I told them we are closed and he kept walking, his gf stopped and I looked at her and she said "I cant stop him, hes on a mission"....I followed him to the alcohol section, he grabbed a wine bottle and I said "look dude, we are closed, Im just the cleaner here, I cant serve you"...and he started mouthing off about the dorr being open and the sign saying open so I said "The sign doesnt say that, the sign says we close at 9:00pm"...and he started being loud and mouthing off again, he kept walking, so I said "dude, I cant let you take that wine" and I reminded him we were on camera, and he started talking somemore, and he came close to me, and he said he will give me some chop sticks...and at this moment I taught this guy could easily stab me with chopsticks, so I took a step back and folded my arms infront of me" I was preparing myself for something....and he insested that they know him there and he had an account with the shop, and I said "Look dude, im just a cleaner here, I dont know that, Im just covring my back"....he dropped the wine on the floor and walked off....but he did show me the chopsticks twice and twice I had to step back into a something might happen posture...I felt pretty much like a hero after that, I was gloating on myself =)

You did the right thing. It is always best to avoid violence when possible. Just because someone CAN physically dominate someone doesn't mean they SHOULD. Your desired action would not have changed this persons future behavior. He most likely would have felt humiliated, he then would have pressed charges and possibly sued you.

I applaud your self-control, confidence, under standing for the uneducated individual.

You are a strong and decent person.

Peace to you.

I must say I feel you were wrong.

At my gym we enter the strong man competition each year in Venice and, even though I won strongest-man in Europe on that occasion I would not even consider acting the way you do.

However, knowing that I not only can look-after myself and those around me, but I also, unlike you, look like I can, I can see you dilemma.

Perhaps you should stop preening and posing like the fool you make yourself out to be and enter the world of people.