How to get rid of unwanted neighbors?

Our neighbors had a kid drown in their pool. It freaked out the entire neighborhood and my mom never let any of our friends swim at our house unless they were accompanied by a parent.

You have to set guidelines with your own children, as in "When we are at work there will be no friends over." I know it's summer time and lots of moms and dads have kids at home, but you are responsible for what happens at your house. If you have to hire someone to watch the house, then do it.

As far as climbing the neighbors fencing and ignoring signs, that neighbor should call the police. You are within your rights to tell the ill mannered kids to go home. I don't care if they are from low income families, bad manners aren't tolerable. If I see a kid dropping trash in my yard I would say, "Pick up the trash you just dropped!" in a loud voice. They're not learning to behave from mom & dad, maybe they'll learn manners from everyone correcting them.

You are playing with fire if you let them come around your house while you are at work. Your kids have to stop letting any of them into the house. You can't allow it. You have to start saying NO. Bad manners are the issue here, not race. It's that simple. You do not have to tolerate bad manners, having toddlers forced on you, or allow anyone to litter your property.

If you have a homeowners association, you might want to bring it up at a meeting, or make a call about it. If you and the neighbor with the signs both talk about the problem you will probably be heard. Then it would be the association addressing the kids and their parents, not you personally.

I would do something before it's too late. Best of luck to you , hon.

There's an old saying, "Good fences make good neighbors." I'm assuming you're responsible enough to have a fence around your pool that kids can't climb (chain link won't do it). A 6-ft or higher privacy fence should do the trick. Also, many people are frightened by the idea of a large dog. I'm not suggesting you get a vicious dog, of course, but perhaps a boxer? (And put a sign up that says "Beware of dog.") Great with kids, but many people (particularly low-income who haven't had a lot of contact with dogs) fear them and will stay away.

Unfortunately, if you've been very generous with your home, sometimes people may take advantage, and you need to be more firm. If kids come to play and bring their toddler siblings, tell them that they need to take little brother and sister home because you're too busy to watch over them. Tell them also, if they leave trash in your yard, you will have to ask that they not come back. Be firm and authoritative; sounds like you might have more luck being direct with the kids than talking with their parents.

I had a neighbor's dog that kept pooping in my yard. I finally gathered it all and threw it in a lump back into their own yard. If it is children that are throwing the garbage I would gather it and bring it to the parents. I think being confrontational in a polite way is best. I would try not to accuse or blame the parents though I agree they are most likely the problem. I would act like they don't realize what their kids are doing and surely want to help. When the younger kids come just tell them they need to go back to mommy and daddy because this is not a good time for you. We had close friends who did not manage their children so we stopped having them over and instead met them at parks for several years. If they don't respect your home you do not have to let them be there.

I am assuming by your description were talking about black children...Right? Perhaps ask the oldest of the unwanted children for their mom's phone number. Now with as much class an snobbishness that you can muster call mom and explain....

That while her children are lovely little dears that you wish for to keep them from visiting your property and children without being invited. Explain that your children are often on punishment or having a lesson of some type and that you just can't accommodate unexpected visitors.... Also explain that you work and that you have a very deep pool and you wouldn't want her children to drown ... Say one day when you have time "really we all must get together"

*** look I have read your additional details ... You seem to find an excuse for everything people have suggested .... Perhaps grow or better yet have your hubby grow some big cahoonas and tell these kids "get out of my yard and don't come back" Say it every time and loudly !!!!! END OF DISCUSSION !!! Now you say you are well off ...invest in a high quailty night vision (zero lux ) security camera and aim it at your cars ... set it to vcr tape at night ...it might cost you $250.00 bucks tops to set this up. If they F&&^^K with your cars you will have evidence to sue or get police involved .... Bottom line this IS YOUR PROPERTY THEIR TRESPASSING IS NOT OPEN TO NEGOTIATION !!!!

I can relate to you on this one. We grew up in a great neighborhood until a family on the welfare system moved in. They cashed in on a life insurance policy and bought the house. It immediately went on the decline. It was so depressing. I know it is not a racial thing, these people are white, and before them, the occupants were peaceful, friendly Puerto Ricans.

The only thing you can do is to be polite, or move yourself. My parents still live across the street from them. They are noisy and messy, but they don't bother my parents. You can spend a lot of time hoping they'll move, but a poor family simply cannot afford to move.

Start keeping a journal or list of the things that they are doing, so you have some sort of documentation. Do you have a HOA? After awhile and some proof of this problem, you could privately bring it up to the HOA president or committee. If that doesnt work, you could always get the local authorities involved. Its a shame that you have to deal with the worry of retaliation, but again, you always have the law to turn back to in case of any future problems. Just make sure you document everything with dates, times and exact incidents so that you have proof and a history of a problem and dont just come across as some crotchety old lady. :)

It'd be kind of hard to 'get rid' of your neighbors, and I've had neighbor probs many times before especially living in apt complexes. If you don't feel comfortable trying to talk to those parents, I would drop a note/letter on their door. Do not appear confrontational in the letter; it is to be purposeful. I always stated in my notes of the different re-occurences of things that bothered me while slightly embarrasing them at the same time, i.e. hearing her scream during drunken sex, hearing exactly what her and her man argue about, failing to focus on studying for finals due to her kids causing a ruckus, etc etc. I said I wasn't trying to tell her to stop living her life but that she should be considerate of neighbors, etc.. and end it with a big thank you and a smiley face. Guess what.. no more problems!! Good luck.

Well, I have the same problem and I have tried everything except retaliation. I understand the situation and believe me is never a race issue because I am a hispanic living among hispanics and blacks who don't care about anyone else but themselves. Whos fault?, the government. They allow these type of people to live carelessly and freely. They migrate from state to state, city to city and neighborhood to neighborhood. Much like rats and roaches. Here's the scenario, states that have free education but most care less about education because they are not paying for it. Since its free they chose to be derilicts and use the system to their advantage. No education and no meaningful job. Free social services and again, is a great benefit when it lands on the 1st of the month and postage free. A good example of growing up thinking this country is theirs, I live in it and I don't have to give a ---- about anyone else. Then there are those who go to school, appreciate what the government does and live productive lives. That's why you have these subclasses of people roaming and commiting crime. Its only going to get worse unless the goverment begins to enforce laws already written in the books. For example, vagrancy, malingering, trespassing, loitering, curtfews, abandonment.

If this country detain people who can't verify a work history or have a good reason not to be working, assisted by social services and malingering daily around the neighborhood home with less than 20 dollars to their name and while causing breach of peace, loitering or hate and discontent such as loud music, then those adult would parent their children agressively. You hold the adult caregiver and provider liable and responsible for their actions. I bet things change quickly and noone would be doing what they are doing to you or your family. But the law allows this to continue giving these people power to create havoc to those that live regular normal and peaceful lives. I came to this country with nothing, had a newspaper route at the age of 10, cold winters, cleaned cars, pick tobacco in the summer, clean bricks at 3 cent per brick and manage to excell in school, and return my gratitude to this country by serving in the armed force overseas yet I have to live with this ---- on a daily basis in the land of the free. And I hate it and can't do nothing about it. The law is on their side. Isn't that a shame. That's why I see the double edge sword when it comes to racism and I understand all the facetts of a good neighborhood and a bad neighbor. Good people, white people, black people and its never about race although some jump on the band wagon to defend their poor and inexcusable lives but for whatever I wish you the best of luck in finding a solution and if you do, put on paper and send it to the politicians who manages this monster. Because whe're in the times where idle mind are the devils workshop. Peace

I'd move. With neighbors like that, it sounds like you're not in the best of neighborhoods anyway. Your mistake was probably becoming too friendly, thus letting yourself become a doormat for these folks. Your children should also help in teaching these kids to treat your home with more respect. For goodness sake, it is their home too, right? Now, about them climbing over into the yard...that is a big scare. In these united states of America, you can and probably will be held liable for the actions of idiots who have no sense of decency. I understand why you wouldn't want your notifying them to come off as offensive or racist. You do not want to walk into a hostile relationship with anyone who lives near you, especially if they are of unfavorable upbringings.

Build a taller fence. And...

Large Dogs, even those that are not aggressive, are a remarkable deturrent when paired with a sign that says " I love uninvited guests, so does my dog, he thinks they're tasty...Beware" It keeps the Jehovah's Whitness callers off my property.