My ex has supervised visitation with our girls......?

Document every instance: Times, dates, what he says. Try to have some witness, other than your children, to his abusive comments. Have the witness write down the time, date, and what he/she heard.

In some communities, police have received training in domestic violence issues. If you are in one of those communities, you can call the police and show them a copy of the court order so that they will back you up and make him leave.

Explain to your children that their daddy needs to follow the rules, and the rules say that he needs to let you know before he shows up. The penalty for not following the judges rules is that he will not be allowed to see them. Explain all of this to them before the next time he shows up.

Talk to a lawyer.

You may not believe that your ex would become physically violent with you in front of the children, or in public. You would be wrong. He is exhibiting the behavior of a stalker. Treat him as such.

It may be necessary to go back to court and have the judge further curtail his visits, stipulating exactly when he is allowed to visit. You are entitled to a life.

This is all an unfortunate part of the divorce game. You will not score any extra points with your children by allowing their father to ignore court orders. All you'll end up doing is increasing your own stress levels so that you will not be able to be a good parent to your children. Don't let your guilty feelings force you to allow your children and ex to manipulate you.

Just accept that, at some point, the kids are going to blame you for everything that's wrong with their lives. That will happen no matter what you do in regard to their father. Knowing that should leave you free to do what is best for them and for you. You can't buy the future by selling the present.

Take care of yourself, and you will have the resources to take care of your children.

It depends on your state. The Texas Attorney General, for instance, is sufficient. No need to hire an attorney. And, they will grant supervised visitation. They have granted supervised visitaiton in far less severe situations. A key factor for you is going to be how the visitation is supervised. You would probably want to go for the maximum level, which would mean you would drive your daughter to a center, he would meet you at the center and it would be supervised by a third party social worker appointed by the court. He may have to pay a fee for this person. Otherwise, it could be decided that he would have visitation supervised by another third party, such as his mother or a friend, and that could get sticky.

When the girls aren't around, you need to put your foot down and tell him to stop this. He's violating your rights and you don't have to put up with that. What if you had something important planned just for you and your daughters and he came anyway and ruined it on you by showing up? You can't let him keep doing this because then he'll become accostumed to it and start thinking you're ok with it. You should take control of the situation and make him know that you're sick of this. Next time you see him stalking around, make sure to keep your daughters from seeing him so that they don't get overjoyed to see him, then go over to him and tell him to leave or remind him that he's not supposed to see them without 24 hours notice prior. It's your right, don't let him take advantage of you. Especially don't allow him to be verbally abusive to you either.

you go to whom ever ordered the supervised visitation, and tell them that he is not giving you 24 hours notice, and become verbally abusive. You are right, it is best not to cause a scene in front of your children, but he must be made to respect and follow the order.

you can contact your attorney, and ask them to send him a letter reminding him of the terms of agreement.

you could also call him at a time when your children will not be around (don't meet with him alone, not if he has gotten verbally abusive with you). tell him what you told us--that the girls love to see him, but he must, must give notice before he comes so that you can accomodate his visit, or let him know that you won't be around. i would try doing this first, in your mind as a "this is the one time i will try talking to him rationally about this again before i have the lawyer remind him" thing.

he can't just show up like that. it sounds like something that could get dangerous. i don't know him, but something about him just showing up like that unsettles me, so i'm sure it must really upset you.

good luck, remember, you are in the right here.

Go back to court have his visitation revoked. There is a reason he has to be supervised... You really are doing you children any good or you new family (if that is applicable)any good by just letting this not so stable man around them.If he can't call and make arrangements or follow them for that matter what kind of example is this setting for your children?

Good luck and God be with you!

He is using the kids the bum.

Talk to your divorce lawyer and get advice there. He is in violation of what the court have told him to do. He has no right to barge in on you or be abusive to you. I am sure he does this in front of the kids.

If you get no help or advice from the lawyer or the courts. Use the police even if it involves "a scene." Just explain to the girls in advance what you are going to do and why.

Since the supervised visitation is a provision of the divorce, I'd recommend talking with your lawyer about options to help "remind" your ex about the need to give notice.

Tell him the 24 hr. notice will be honored, or he will tell the court why he reuses to obey a court order,,in other words, he is risking jail, or restrictions on visitation. I have a gut feeling, the reason he shows up, unexpected, is to catch the girls alone,,,,,and there must be a reason he is not to be alone with them. This would also explain his exasperation,,,,because you are there.

I agree with Steven. You alone can't enforce the visitation order without it looking like you are trying to keep him away. Just let the legal system get involved and remind the girls that you want them to see Daddy but he has to call first.