Serious question about my Bi sexual 15 yr old?

I understand exactly what you are going thru.

I am a lesbian mother, and my daughter who is now 16 came out when she was 14. I had the same worries and concerns as any mother would have (gay or straight).

You are doing wonderful by accepting your daughter. My daughters father beat her when he found out (he got arrested for child abuse , it was that bad, and they no longer see him)

I think that for the gay/lesbian/bi teenagers of today, it is easier to come out. They don't have the fears like some of the older community has b/c it has always been around for their generation.

I have the same rules for my gay daughter as I have for my straight daughter. I would never allow my straight daughter to have her boyfriend spend the night and so I do not allow my gay daughter to have any girls spend the night.

I have talked to both of my girls and they understand that type of conduct that they should have in public with whoever they are going out with.

But, just keep in mind, when people first come out, it is a very "freeing" experiment. And sometimes some people go for the "shock" value.

Your doing the right thing by having a very open communication with your daughter.

Just keep talking to her and telling her you love her no matter what and you will get thru this just fine.

I see it like this. even if I were straight. I dont think it is appropriate to do things in front of youYou are her mom. I would never even though my mom does not care that I am gay. There is a time and place for everything. While she is on her own its cool. She can do what she wants. But there has to be respect for you as her parent. No straight couple I know would do anymore than kiss on the lips affectionately, not tounge each other down in front of there parents. I think that public displays of affection are great, but there has to be discretion and since she is so young she probably wont get that concept right now.Tell her that you love her and are not against her and she knows darn well that you would not allow that behavior with a boy so to you there is no difference. Plain and simple tell her there is a time and place for everything. You dont mind her being herself but she has to know where and when and in front of who she can do things. As accepting as most people are there are those that will try and do her harm so she has to be careful . Hope this helps.

You're a good mom and have good instincts. Hand-holding is one thing, but being "all over each other," especially in public, is definitely over the top. It's important for adolescents to learn discretion and restraint. It has nothing to do with whether your daughter is straight, lesbian, or bi-sexual. What feels good for her may not be something everyone wants to look at in a public place, and it may be behavior that is age-inappropriate in any case. Teach her and her girlfriend that everyone, no matter what age or persuasion, is expected to show some modesty in public, and hold them to the same standards you would if she were not bi. Make sure she knows that you're proud of her and aren't doing this because she's bi-sexual. Tell her that everyone has standards they must follow. That's just part of life.

Its not the worst thing a 15 year old could be doing. i would rather my daughter having sex in my house in safety than out stealing cars or taking drugs with god knows who. She,ll probably break up with her friend soon and find something else to give you grey hairs. Just try to keep her informed of the dangers of life & that no matter whaty her friends say she always has a choice. I wouldnt be worried about what other people think as once you have passed them in the street you probably will never see them again. I would worry about the ease of which your daughter could be videoed on the camera phones around now. Its one thing to canoodle in public but quite another to be splashed all over the world on the internet.

First, you should know that you're an awesome mom for knowing and accepting your gay (bi?) daughter. There are a lot of kids who'd love to have a parent just like you.

But more importantly, this is something that I understand may make be uncomfortable discussing with your daughter. Never be afraid to be the bad guy, especially when you're so sure that it's only for her own good. What you need to emphasize more than anything else is that you'd hold her to the same standards if she were doing this with a boyfriend. Making out and kissing in public is something you save for private times at home.

Let me be honest when I tell you that yes, to some extent, she may very well be doing this to spite authority. I did it too. I'd discovered my sexuality as a gay man, and I was feeling uber rebellious and (like every other teenager) uber hormonal. What you need to remember is that it's not just you. Being gay (or bi) means that she's having to deal with a lot of issues of acceptance herself. She's probably for a few years been having a dialog in her own head trying to resolve her own sexuality versus what society expects a young lady to be. She's going to want to be out, loud, and proud. She may even want to be out and over the top just to make others feel as uncomfortable as she may have felt when she was getting her thoughts straightened out in her own head.

Good luck. I hope everything works out well for you. You're a wonderful woman for loving your daughter and putting up with what you have. There are a million parents who aren't fit to hold a candle to your love, and that's something that you should be proud of.

My mother worries about me too, so I understand your fear. I suppose I grew up in a slightly more closeted area of town, as well as growing up in a Christian school and different time (not TOO long ago, but it still wasn't quite as accepted as it is now), so I have a healthy fear.

I'm 23 and I still won't hold my girlfriend's hand in certain areas of town. Your daughter feels a bit more free and feels, perhaps, that she is breaking out of the normalcy of relationships, all while having no real fear of reprocussion. This is, of course, normal for teenagers. We all did things that weren't too bright.

Personally, I think if they're just being cuddly in public, most people will take it as them being close friends. People still think my girl and I are sisters, most of the time, as it wouldn't even occur to most straight people that we're gay.

I would relax a bit, but know your fear is founded. You want to protect her from people who would say and do mean things to her. That's good, it means you're a good mom. But she'll probably be fine. Just let her know WHY you worry, and she probably won't think you're a jerk or anything. <3

Any questions, feel free to email me.

Telling her you love her is a good start. Don't be a jerk about her being honest. Don't ask her "are you sure" because trust me, kids have long thought about the issue before even giving you a hint to it. She's sure. It's not a phase, it's not some whim. She's sure. Not a really big reason to make a fuss, just make sure she's dating smart enough to not be taken advantage of by boys or girls. That's not too different than raising a straight daughter right?

First of all i just have to tell you that it is so nice to hear of a mother who just wants her daughter to be happy. Your wonderful.

Anyways, with your daughter, its important to treat her relationship with this girl exactly the same as if it was with a boy. That is the key on either side. If with a boy friend you wouldnt let them spend the night, it should be the same lines with the girlfriend. Additionally you should make sure to to keep it behind closed doors. It is extreamly difficult to come out and be proud of who you are. So even with the family, fight for her. Dont let her be inappropriate and have to much PDA, but definitly dont ask her to hide it.

Thats not right. (I don't mean that in a discriminating way-) I'm straight and it would wrong of me to be all over my girlfriend in public, I just simply wouldn't do it. Would we hold hands? Yeah but I wouldnt be kissing her like crazy or anything to over the top.

Actually main reason is because I like to keep my love life a secret from the public. This is just one guys preference I could be wrong in what Im saying, but this is how I like to have things done.

If you're worried about what people might do because she is so openly bisexual, then have her learn some self defense. It's a very, very good idea anymore anyways with how common rape and sexual assault is. Also, hang out with her in public. Learn from her. Look how confident and comfortable she is in herself and her sexuality that she doesn't need to find approval in the eyes of others. Hopefully that confidence and lack of regard for the opinions of others will rub off. The young aren't the only ones that can learn a thing or two.

If you're uncomfortable with their lack of modesty in public though, tell her that you're uncomfortable with her showing that little modesty in public. If you've raised a respectful child, then she should show you respect by trying to be more modest in public around you.

Oh, and thank you.