Whats the difference between $hit and Shinola?

The Difference Between **** and Shinola:

Clearly Defined, Once and For All

SHINOLA ****

Shoe polish. Bodily waste.

No longer manufactured. Manufactured by every animal on earth at least once a day.

Comes in a can. Doesn't come in a can but you can put it there.

Pleasant, fruity odor Unpleasant, poop-like odor

People don't care if you have Shinola on your shoes. Most people admire shiny shoes. People are offended and make funny faces when you have **** on your shoes.

Contributed to the end of the Cold War Helped spread the Black Plague

Repels aliens. Repels aliens.

If you hold a piece of Shinola in your hand and turn around four times chanting, "I do believe in fairies! I do believe in fairies!" you will be transported to a magical paradise where all the boys look like Weezer and cream cheese has no calories. If you hold a piece of **** in your hand and turn around four times chanting, "I do believe in fairies! I do believe in fairies!" your hand will get dirty.

Emily Dickinson wrote poems glorifying Shinola. Jonathan Swift wrote poems glorifying ****.

I was going to come up with a smartarse response, but Ashley really topped this one.

$hit is rank nasty brown stuff that comes out the bottom of someone's rectum. $hinola is the act of $hitting on someone's forehead.