how does a man still ove a woman but not be "in love" with her??

It sucks that this happened to you! It can be really difficult to deal with but to answer your question, I am sure that he cares gfor you and your well-being but the not 'in love' part clearly signifies that he is no longer interested in marrying you or have an intimate relationship with you.

I don't really know how you're feeling. I am not sure if you are hurt or still waiting for all of this to settle in but based on my own experience I advise you to cut him off and move on completely. If you're still in love with him and he doesn't want to be with you, having him around will only hurt you more. I have been through a similar situation twice and each time I thought I was lucky in love because I was thinking to myself each time how amazing it is to get off so easily and not have to deal with the relationship ups and downs that most of us experience in our youth. Low and behold, I found myself standing alone completely bewildered with my mouth opened, wondering what just happened. Moving on can be tough especially after 4 years but i suggest that you leave him alone and if you want more answers, come here and pose your questions and leave him be. There is probably nothing that he can say to make you feel better about the situation. Best Wishes! I hope this helps! ☻

i get what he is saying - i love my ex husband the same as i love my best friend. I want good things for him and don't wish him harm but i am not still "in love" with him. Being in love with someone is very different than just loving them. Being in love with a partner means you think about your life together in 30 years and make plans for babies or what it is that you have goals to do - loving someone means you wish them well and that you will help them if need be but you don't see yourself sleeping next to them night after night. Some people grow up and grow apart instead of growing up together. It stinks but it happens all the time.

He may have meant that he still cares for you but he no longer wishes to be in an intimate relationship with you. Essentially, what he is telling you is "Lets be friends" but not lovers anymore. That rarely works well. It will only result in disappointment for the one who still has feelings for the other. The best way to end an intimate relationship is to have a clean and honest break. It is over. Let it go.

WELL SWEETIE IT'S EASY. HE STARTED OFF IN LOVE WITH U BUT AS TIME PASSED HE FELL OUT OF LOVE WITH U, THAT DOESN'T MEAN HE DOESN'T LOVE U ANYMORE. HE LOVES U, HE'S SIMPLY NOT IN LOVE.

AN EXAMPLE AS U WELL SAID, U LOVE UR FRIENDS, NOW HE LOVES U AS A FRIEND, MAYBE EVEN FAMILY. SINCE HE'S NOT IN LOVE ANYMORE, HE'S NOT GONNA WANNA HAVE SEX WITH U. U DON'T HAVE SEX WITH FRIENDS (U SHOULDN'T ANYWAY!).

UR MORE LIKE A GOOD FRIEND OR SISTER MAYBE, NOT SOMEONE HE'S IN LOVE WITH U SEE WHAT I'M SAYING. IT'S NOT BLACK AND WHITE, HE LOVES ME OR HE DOESN'T LOVE ME.

NO THERE'S LOVING SOMEONE AND BEING IN LOVE WITH SOME ONE.

LIKE WHEN UR IN LOVE, SOMETIMES ALL U DO IS THINK ABOUT HIM, U CAN'T EAT, U CAN'T SLEEP, U GET BUTTERFLIES WHEN UR AROUND HIM, U GET NERVOUS, U CAN'T WAIT 2 SEE HIM AGAIN. CRAP LIKE THAT. HE'S NOT IN LOVE ANYMORE. IT'S A GOOD THING AND A BAD THING SWEETIE CUZ IT SOUNDS LIKE U R STILL IN LOVE. AND THAT'S GOTTA HURT.

I'M SORRY AND I HOPE U FIND LOVE AGAIN. U DESERVE 2 BE WITH SOMEONE WHO IS IN LOVE WITH U AND U REALLY SHOULD BE GRATEFUL THAT UR EX ISN'T AN A$$ AND HE DIDN'T JUST STAY WITH U AND LET U THINK HE WAS IN LOVE WHILE HE WAS DOING HIS OWN THING EVENTUALLY, CUZ HE WASN'T REALLY IN LOVE, HE WOULD HAVE JUST BEEN GOING THRU THE MOTIONS.

AND THAT WOULD BE HORRIBLE!!!!!!! I'D BE SICK IF I WAS WITH SOMEONE WHO WAS BY MY SIDE OUT OF OBLIGATION AND WASN'T TRULY IN LOVE. SO TAKE CARE AND HOPE THIS HELPED.

Means he loves you as a friend and still cares about you. But he doesn't have the feelings that make him want to be with you in a relationship.

Loving someone and being in love with them are two different things, hun. I've questioned it before myself, and this is what I've learned. Loving someone is a mental process. You choose to care for a person and are willing to take the time to show them. Being in love, however, is totally emotional. You don't choose to fall in love, it just happens. It's irrational and it affects you in ways you never thought possible. Hope that wasn't too confusing.

That means he still likes and respects you, but he is not sexually attracted anymore ("love" to men means sex) and he wants to move on. This happens all the time with men. At least he put it nicely. Sorry for you, but just go out there and find you someone nice!

there is a HUGE difference between loving someone and being IN love...i love lots of my friends...i would do anything for them...i even have friends that i say i love you too as we hang up the phone, but i am not in love with them...i am only in love with one person...my boyfriend! it's a totally different type of love...your love for your friends and you family should have been TOTALLY different than the love for your fiance...hope you find some clarification...good luck!

Things change after a while in any relationship.

My husband and I have been together for a lot of years. We love each other, and care about what the other one does, feels, etc. But we don't often feel that "in love" feeling.

He doesn't love you and he has a very convoluted idea of what love is. A real man doesn't slam the door in the face of the one he used to love, while professing his undying devotion. He has no respect for you and his words are shallow.....and odds are you weren't the first to hear him say this nonsense and won't be the last. It's tragic that you spent four years of your life loving him....and he possibly "faking" his devotion to you.