What should I do about my gay crush?

Oh... Let me tell you first that I can really feel for you and I can perfectly relate to you, as exactly the same thing happend to me when I was in school.

I will share my story, because I feel it is very important, even though I realise that not only you going to read it. Untill now I never realy told it to anyone. Even my mother knows just bits and hints of it.

When I was in high school I fell deeply in love with my class mate. I mean,I was really really crazy about him. I didn't know what to do, he was my good friend and we were spending a lot of time together at school. I was helping him to do all his home work and was totally happy that I have a chance to spend more time with him. And even though I was never been suspected to be gay, and was very popular with girls and was dating girls, I guess I could not hide my affection to him and one day he set things up the way that it led to sex. Well.. he figured out that I am not going to be the one who can resist him. And I couldn't. After that things changed. He start calling me to come to his home just about every day, but start to kip his distance at school. And I didn't have the gutts to ask him if he was gay and didn't have the gutts to come out to him.

I guess that he was paranoyed that if we will hang out together too much at school some one might think of "something". It hurt, as now I was not one of his friends at school, but I knew that as soon as he will come home he will call me and that what I was holding on to. As a Pro athlet, he was travelling a lot, but as soon as he comes home before even calling his parents he would come to me. That made me feel wanted and needed. But it was still happening only behing closed doors of the house. Outside- he stayed away from me. I was too much in love to care. I loved him for 15 years. Untill couple of events led me to think that he just using me for sex. That he is most likelly bisexual in closet and I am just a matter of convinience- someone who can never resist him and always glad to see him day or night, no matter what. And I never talked to him about it.

Then I immigrated to USA and he immigrated to Europe. Last year, I went to Europe and had some time on my hands, so, I decided to find him. 39 years after I first fell in love with him.

Good thing that he is a high rated athlet. After calling to the sport comeettees of couple of countries I found what city he train right now. So, I didn't had his phone number and just went there counting on my luck to find him at the stadium. I didn't know what to expect. From- "why did you come" to "I am so glad to see you, I was hopping you will find me" and everything in between.

I got lucky!! He was surprised and seams to ge glad to meet me. I started ot think how to tell him that he was my first love and he is still close to my heart. But I didn't come up with anything before we got to his house.

The answer was there in the form of absolutly beautiful and charming wife and two kids... I had a great time drinking tea and chatting with the wife (who didn't even know me) and playing with kidds. He, most of the time... watched TV.

Later, sitting all night at the empty train station, waiting for the first train back, I was thinking how blind I was for so many years. But never regreted being in love. Only if I would just ask him that question 39 years ago... May be by this time, I would have someone in my life who loves me, instead of waiting for his call saying:"Hey, I finally found you"...

So, go to your friend. Tell him that you have something important to share with him. And if he is a person with integrety- he will understand and nothing will change between two of you. If he is not... Well.. life as a gay some times sucks.. If he turn away- you will have a chance to reevaluate him as a person and move on. And if he is a gay.. WOW.. What a bonus you will get!!

Don't make my mistake. don't wait 39 years to get your answer.

Big hug.

you are right to stay in the closet until the end of high school. College is ok to be gay because its a new life and everyone is a free adult.

High school is more like prison with the captive students who have to be there. the friendships you make there are often fleeting.

This one sounds ok though and it would be better if you knew for sure about him. but having a crush without doing anything about it is totally manageable. you can be friends with a guy indefinitely without him knowing. so take your time. don't spook him.

The tricky thing is that if you open up your feelings to him at the wrong time and he is gay you could still lose him if he thinks youre not his type physically.

Just be the best friend you can possibly be and he might just fall in love with you for that. and that is the most enduring love there is

if you ever have sex and its not as good as you both hoped , and there is not a foundation of love there you will probably lose him forever

I think that since you made it clear that you didn't think it was a big deal if he actually was gay and he realizes that he'd still have you as a friend, the ball is in his court now. You may have a crush on him, but you shouldn't limit yourself to just him, there are lots of guys you could be meeting and dating right now and who knows, he may never come out.( Don't always rely on stereotypes to determine if someone is gay/lesbian either, they're not always accurate. )

You sound like a very mature 17 year old, so you should weigh the pros and cons of harboring this crush for someone who may not reciprocate. It's a lot of wasted time if you pine away for someone when you could be out having the time of your life right now..... :) wishing you the best.....

well, it sounds like you are handling the situation pretty good with your friend. You both feel like you are in a potentially unfriendly to gays situation (which you might find to be false if you ever did come out!), and you hang and are friends.

If you want this to advance though....instead of telling him it would be ok to you if he were gay, get the courage and just come out to him. Take the first step. It sounds like he is gay, so why not. And if he is not or too deep in the closet to take advantage of this golden opportunity, you will at least have come out to someone and i have a feeling he is going to be cool with the info.

1. 6th grade, his name was John. 2. Guy obviously... 3. 11 4. Yeah 5. No, not until like 2-3 years later when I finally noticed I was gay. 6. "OMGWTF?! HE'S SO UGLY!! Freakin caveman..." I still like him to this day, and I'm 14 in 9th grade now and I must say, there have been 2 magical moments for the first month of high school :D

OK then don't come out!

Find a way to get alone with this guy.

You know you can't feel him out

with people around and stuff going on.

If you're into Theatre, find out what

story or play he likes...

Shakespeare, perhaps...

and invite him over to your place

to "help you practice it."

You've got to get him alone

because both of you are careful

so you can't be free with your feelings

with other people around. Once you

have him alone, try and horse around

with him a bit like guys do. If he's gay

and you pretend box or tickle poke him

it will proceed from there...

Almost always works! It starts the

chemistry flowing...BUT YOU'VE

GOT TO GET HIM ALONE!

Oh You SWEET thing! Iam so excited for you! Crushes are GREAT! Even better when you are already friends! OK my best advice is this...take it SLOW...if he is scared to come out

You have already met the first requirement...be his friend and support him...maybe tell him...you might have feelings for men

if it goes well tell him one inparticular and if he is still calm

TELL HIM THE GOOD NEWS "BABY IT IS YOU!"

YAY for you I hope it all works out for you!

Number one....you lied to the person you profess to love. Thats never a good start to a relationship.

Admit your mistake and he will either understand and forgive you or move on. He deserves the truth. It will set you free.

when i was your age i fell in total crush/love with my best friend (guy) who was totally straight... instead of just coming out with it, i played games and hid from myself and the world.

had i told him it would have gone one way or the other... probably he would have said... ok... sorry, not me. bye.

and i might ave been open to other experiences instead of wasting 10-12 grade being in puppy love with the wrong person.

I say you tell him about yourself and tell him you like him. He sounds like he is gay and supportive like you, just be careful not to expect immediate positive reaction in case he is not ready to tell or is not actually gay