MEN ONLY PLEASE, I need you opinion on open marriages and infidelity.?

Let him go around the world with you a couple of times and let him know you welcome Greek...he will not desire another woman after that.

You are being too easy for him. Do not allow him to bring a third person into your marriage. Just you writing this long question tells me this is not okay for you. This man has the problem of needing "something different" all the time, that is why the porn. He lives in fantasy in his mind. There is nothing you will ever do to change this, it is his "vice". I know from personal experience that if a woman has any doubts then do not go into an open marriage scene. It is very difficult and lacks the intimacy for a long-lasting marriage to grow. Yes, all men do look at other women always, this is true, but some men have that look in their eye like they want to undress the woman and take her right there and later in bed they relive this fantasy with their wife or whoever they are with. Other men have more of an appreciation for a good-looking woman, they look, think damn she is good-looking, then they go back to their life and that is the end of it. You need to be less accessible to him so he can be fantasizing over you. You do not want other men, and no matter what he says he would hate that you were with other men, he is only telling you he wouldn't mind because he is fooling himself to be able to get you not to mind about other women. You two can make an honest go at a monogomous relationship. Get rid of the porn too, maybe only a little at a time but it would be good to get rid of all of it. It will take time, strategy, and him admitting his problem and that should help but doing this open marriage thing, bad idea.

You shouldn't get married if you want an "open marriage". A marriage is suppose to consist of two people that love each other and you share everything between each other. Nothing else, I guess it depends on what you expect out of a relationship, No one can tell you how to lead your life. But an open marriage doesn't seem like such a great idea, maybe marriage isn't the answer if it's degraded like that. There's no trust, no foundation. You need to have that to build something stronger. Best Wishes! Hope it helps!

Sounds like he wants all the benefits of being married but the ability to be a "PLAYER" in his own rite.

More than naught it's falling in the lines of a business proposition to him than anything. Could also fall along the lines of this.

There are women out there whom are attracted to the married man cause they know this guy is taken and won't want anything more than just sex. So he his playing that card to it's fullest. Some women find married men more appealing than a single guy. Some one not so needy or looking for a relationship.

Watch out this could back fire, cause if you land someone or more than one and he gets a streak of denials he will turn the tables and make it look bad on you.

Well, let's see... um.. no!!! not all men think this way. I think you should do whatever your heart tells you to. but in my opinion, if he wants to have sex with other women, then he shouldn't have gotten married in the first place. The right thing to do is for you to get a divorce before it's too late. He will cheat on you! especially when he says, if you don't let him watch porn or always wanting to have sex with other women... and that he can't say he won't cheat on you... sigh!!! and how long have you been together??? it's not worth all the trouble. there are men out there who are not like this... But it's always easy to give advices... and as I said, do what your heart tells you to... if you truly believe that he loves you and that you love him... well, i think you should see some sort of a marriage counseling.... but don't think for one second, that all men are like this... THAT'S A LOAD OF BS!!! and who to say, he hasn't done that already.... maybe he is just trying to justify what he has done... that, well my wife said it was alright... so it was cheating... no?

For him, sex is not something like 'having it'. It means the thoughts that are the products of the pictures, movies, ideas, images, stories. She is not enjoying anything as he is so much carried away by the three letter word. Word is creating a problem for him. He is not trying to see things beyond the word. The word gives him the pleasure as it is attached to all the thoughts he had nurtured backed by the pictures. You are a lovely wife but he does not count you as a part of that activity. To him the thought is much more important than the activity. He needs immediate counselling by someone who would just show him the difference of the act and the thought of the act. I do not know if I can help you...it would have been better if he could send a message to me. He wont do that as he is so engrossed in the thought that he feels the thoughts are important and actions are not.

i'm againt open relationships. while i admit, being able to have sex with other women is interesting, it isn't something i want to do. so faar, i've never cheated, again, not that i have considered it, i just feel that it's the wrong thing to do, people always get hurt and it just leads to ongoing lies and is more of a mess than i care to put up with. watching pron just degrades women, and adds nothing to a relationship. besides in porn, peple are only interetsed in getting off sexually, there isn't any love, caring, emotional support given. it's just sex, i would think that a number of guys who are into porn have a hard time expressing themselves sexually and emotionally. they want the fast cheap climax. you have a choice, get these issues resloved or move on. that is unless you want a husband who doesn't care about your emotional needs and havin a husband who only wants sex fro you and others. hope you can work this out

Personally, I would love to be in an open marriage....but thats because the Mrs is so not interested in sex. Twice a month is a good month. Now, if she were to be more like you, I seriously doubt I would be out there looking to have my needs met else where. Paying for porn is disturbing. I admit I look, but only the free teaser shots. Thats enough for me. Open arrangements do work, but only if there is absolute honesty and communication and BOTH parties have to want it. Good luck.

recommend leaving while you have the chance. If I were him and the way you described all of the different things you have tried I would not even think about an open relationship. Yes allot of men (and yes women ) have the fantasy of watching the other spouse being with someone else and also the fantasy of two woman at the same time but it is just that also sounds something of an addiction and try to have your husband have a psychological exam maybe something from his past

I'm sry I kno u asked 4 guys only but I'm gonna say u should kick him to the curb if ur not the one and only and he consistently asks permission for nasty sh*t like that then u need to take a break 4rm him it's not fair to u n 4rm wat I can tell u care a lot about himm too =((

ok good luck

ideally men NEVER pay for porn

so your guy is not too bright..... that's one strike....

if you are giving it to him in all ways possible and every way possible and he still wants more he never should have gotten married, he takes you for granted,,,, that's strike 2

the fact thay he would ok for you to swing and him to independant is another big risk... strike 3. if he says he is not cheating he is lying

he is cheating

he is seeing someone now

he should not be in a commitment like that

i also bet both of you are very young

hence you willingness to try to please him and his insatiable lust for women

as you get older

you will get more narrow in what you clearly want from a man and what you will and will not tolerate

you have married a lustful boy

he is not a man

and by the same token

you are not yet a full women

but a young girl trying to make him happy at all costs ( including your own peace of mind ).

your best bet would be to divorce him

10 months or not

it's only going to get worse

much worse

and he WILL cheat ( if he is not all ready doing it now )

if you think you do not deserve better or deserve to have a better man,,,

then stay with your poor excuse of a husband

if not go and find a better man who has better core values

and is relationship oriented