GF dont want our kid to have my last name but be the one to name F/M/L and names?

You NEED a Lawyer and you need one NOW!!!

Look for a FATHERS RIGHTS GROUP in Your State. every state has different laws. You need to see what you need to do to get as much time with your child as possible. Even if you are not the 'custodial' parent you have visitation rights and she is not supposed to use your being behind in child support to withhold the child. If she does this you can complain to the courts.

A lawyer is likely to tell you that you need to make yourself be and appear to the court as the more responsible of the two and will tell you what you have to do to get custody. You might not want that now but you need to think in terms of long range plans. If this GF is as you say you need to think about what your child needs.

Some of the others answers make good points too. I hope you pay attention to what jumps out at you as good advice.

You have rights and responsibilities. What family of yours do you have to go to for help? Is there a free crisis counseling line in your area that you can call? Most citys have these and they can usually hook you up with whatever services fit your need.

The situation you describe is unfortunately common and you need to get accurate legal advice NOW

This sound like a truly sad story, almost unbelievable. Your Gf if u want 2 call her that doesn't sound like she as any morals. This is suppose 2 b (our child not her child.) U should have just as much say so has she does. Fathers do have rights in the USA. I would suggest u not just walk away, find out what your rights are........This is a mess before the child it born, u also mention her dad, now u know u have a real storm brewing.( I can't believe what I'm reading, the baby is not born yet and so much drama. There has 2 b more 2 this story....I don't think Dr. Phil would want u on his show with this mess.) I hope things get better before the baby is born. No child should b around all this drama......U have my prayers, good luck.

At any time you can make a different choice than the one you are making. You can see where this choice or series of choices has gotten you. Here you are being strong armed by this girl and her dad. I am not there so I don't know for sure. I would say you are being squeezed because you did not marry the girl. That may not be the issue and it really is unimportant. You see how this family acts and that they will gang up on you. You could probably resolve this conflict by getting married. What would you do when they ganged up on you again?

You are at a critical place in your life. Do you want to connect yourself to people who treat you like this? They are treating you like crap now so that is the way they are going to behave in the future. The girl is disloyal to you now. Do you think she will join with you in the future? I think it unlikely. If they respected you, they would be treating you respectfully NOW.

Keep in mind that EVERYTHING is TEMPORARY. You can choose any course of action in this moment. If the results are less that you expected, RE-CHOOSE. As an example: you could choose to marry the girl. It is no big deal. It is just some paperwork. If the disrespect continues you re-choose and get separate from that girl and that family.

It is your life. Treat it well. Re-choose as often as it serves you.

You need to sit down and have a talk with her a very long and serious talk. Tell her how you feel about her and the child. She needs to understand that you ae the father and have a saying in this childs life. Her father just needs to get out of this cause it has nothing to do with him. Once the baby is born and she decides not to give the baby your last name, I suggest that you don't sign the birth certificate. That way if she files child support on you your name won't be on the birth certificate and she would have to get you to take a DNA test and if she makes you do that you can make her give the child your last name.

You can have lawyer do it all for you. The first thing they need to do is establish paternity. They will have all three of you go to a health department to swab your mouths. Then, once you are proven the father, you MUST be added to the birth certificate. Then, your lawyer will have to add in your papers that you are requesting a name change and visiting rights. In the papers, father has rights to visitation, school, recreational activities, doctors visits, phone calls, and fair treatment. One of you, maybe the Mom because she can probably get a medical card and WIC, will have to provide your child with insurance. You might have to be forced to pay child support once paternity is established. In the future, her father might see a lawyer and try to get support from you. If you don't fight her in court, you won't be allowed around the child at all. It's a tough battle, could take months, but I advise you to call a "custody" attorney that offers a free 1st consultation. Good Luck!!

Well hun... I think you should've maybe thought about all of this be4. But no worries. U r right in the USA u have rights as a father and you need to let her know that its ur child 2. And u should have a say in ur babies name or atleast ok the name she picked out. This is just going to be a big mess you might need to call in a lawyer. Im sry but theres things ur gona have to do to get control of this situation. Good Luck!

i hate to say this and hope you dont take this bad but your gf right now is sounding like the most royal witch.Having a child together is a experience that is shared not only financially but emotionally as well you are the father and should have say in every aspect of that childs life to me its sounds like shes cutting you out or trying to she needs to remember she didnt get pregnant on her own and to me it sounds like she was just using you as a sperm donar.You need to put your foot down with this woman.And you also need to think if shes like this now and being pregnant shes going to be like this when the babys born and you will be damned if you do or dont because no matter what you do you will always be wrong in her eyes and your concerns wont matter either.I thikn her whole problem is she is very selfish self ceneterd woman and she needs to grow up and act like a woman and not a child.She is a mother now.If she cant understand where you are coming from and care about your concerns if not you but also the baby then your relationship will never thrive and part of loving someone is having respect and understanding and it dosent sound like she has that shes too much in love with herself.I know you dont want to bring lawyers in but im betting at some point you are going to have to because i honestly dont think you 2 will stay together and you are going to have to end up fighting for visitations just be prepared and i wish you luck

Well this is a bit harsh, its hard to guess but are you and your partner ex-partners or just living separately??? Having a baby should be a joint experience, seems to me this woman is being extremely selfish and as far as I can tell its almost as though you were just the sperm donor (sorry sweetheart to say that).

Without knowing the full story its hard for me to saying anything more, my gut reaction is to say fcuk her and go on your way, but whilst on your way call in a good family solicitor/lawyer, but i wouldn't want you to act on this without knowing the full story!

I have attached a couple of links but which seem to be saying the same thing, however these are UK based sites and laws maybe slightly different overseas

Good luck and please remember to stay calm and focused on what is right for your child born or unborn!!! xx

Your kids will have whatever name you give them. A friend of mine is named Julie Jones. She married Rodney Smith. Now she's Julie Smith. Her kids, however, are: Mark Jones. Catherine Smith Tory Jones-Smith You don't have to keep one name or the other. It's up to you. Also - keep an eye out on your future in-laws. They may be crazy, but they did bring up your husband. There's a little bit of them in there too.

What you need to do is marry the girl before the kid is born. That way he is 'legitimate' and the kid carries your last name. If you can't do that, you need to be proactive and see a lawyer to arrange custody, child support, and visitation. Quit the nice guy crap. Your child is coming into the world. Don't make your first act as a father a wimpy one.