59 things that happen just in movies, how temperature affects scottish mind etc etc. click and you wont repent

9. No-one, but no-one uses Microsoft Windows – everyone uses unique operating systems. All of these computer systems, however mundane, are full of animated graphics and enormous download bars in the middle of the screen

10. When paying for a taxi, you don’t need to look at your wallet as you take out a note. Just grab one out at random and hand it over. It will always be the exact fare

11. The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place. Nobody will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any other part of the building undetected

12. It is not necessary to say “Hello” or “Goodbye” in telephone conversations. Also, if you’ve been disconnected it’s always worth frantically beating the cradle and saying “Hello? Hello?” repeatedly

13. If our hero gets into a fight, he will invariable end up with a small cut in the right corner of his mouth. He’ll make sure he wipes the blood on the back of his hand, and give it a disapproving look

14. Anyone can land a plane perfectly as long as there is someone in the control tower to talk you down

15. Sex is always begun in the missionary position and finished with the woman on top

16. Shots fired at people hiding around corners always strike the edge of the building exploding some brickwork near the character’s face

17. On a police stake-out, the action will only ever take place when food is being consumed and scalding hot coffees have been perched precariously on the dashboard

18. Being an aging detective and drinking whiskey alone in a bar makes you irresistible to women

19. If a good person dies with their eyes open, a friend will tenderly close them. If a villain dies with his eyes open the camera will linger on his face until just before the actor has to blink

20. Every single sporting event is won by the underdogs with a last second winner

21. All phone numbers, regardless of where they are, have the area code 555

22. When a plane is low on fuel, it helps to tap the fuel gauge – this even works on multi-million pound jet planes

23. Only men are alcoholics. But luckily, any alcoholic can quit drinking instantly when faced with an important challenge. Not only that, the instant he stops drinking, all his faculties return and he won’t suffer any withdrawal

24. Dogs always know who’s bad, and bark at them

25. All bombs have different coloured wires, so the hero can easily differentiate which one he needs to cut

26. If someone has “fixed” the foot-brakes in a car, the driver won’t use the hand-brake and gears to slow down – but proceeds to drive at high speed through a busy city

27. Anyone who sheepishly picks up a musical instrument and is humble about their ability can play like a professional

28. If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you bump into will be able to dance and know all the steps

29. In a spaceship battles, weapons can only be fired when you are in visual range

30. It is always possible to find a parking spot directly outside any building you’re visiting

31. All things are bullet proof – cars, tables, other bodies etc

32. All police services (particularly in New York) have an unlimited supply of police cars. They also have the unluckiest (and worst trained) drivers, resulting in head on collisions, smashing parked cars, falling into water and of course the obligatory flying-roll, causing the car to land upside down and crushing the lights (with the siren fizzling out as if it’s run out of batteries)

33. Television news bulletins usually contain a story which affects you personally at the precise moment you turn it on – after which you turn the TV off.

34. During all police investigations it is obligatory to visit a strip club at least once

35. Any lock can be picked with a credit card or paperclip in seconds. The only exception to this is if it’s the door to a burning building with a child inside, in which case you have to shoulder-barge it

36. All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red digital displays so you know exactly when they are going to explode

37. Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, you don’t need to learn to speak German. Simply speaking English with a German accent will do. Similarly, when they are alone, all German soldiers speak English to each other

38. Once applied, lipstick never rubs off. Even when scuba diving

39. Any police officer about to retire from the force will more often than not die on their last day (especially if their family have planned a party)

40. When staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises whilst wearing their most revealing underwear

41. All grocery shopping involves the purchase of a French loaf and fruit which is placed into two large, open brown paper bags

42. Don’t panic if you’re heavily outnumbered in a martial arts fight, your opponents will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around you in a threatening manner until it’s their turn to fight

43. Whenever a microphone is turned on it will immediately feedback

44. Guns are like disposable razors. If you run out of bullets, just throw the gun away. You will always find another one

45. All single women have a cat

46. Cars will explode instantly when struck by a single bullet

47. No matter how savagely a spaceship is attacked, its internal gravity system is never damaged

48. If being chased through a city you can usually find cover in a passing carnival or parade

49. One man shooting at 20 men has a better chance of killing them than they have of killing him. Baddies and Henchmen have no gun training and fire in wild panic when confronted by the hero

50. All Englishmen are evil, but clever – but never actually clever enough to kill their nemesis though. Rather, they devise elaborate devices incorporating fuses, pulleys, deadly gases, lasers, man-eating sharks etc.

My additions to the list

51. Every person of the family is given a surprise birthday party every year by family and friends and it is still a surprise even the 40th time.

52. The villain will shout threatening his return in the future while dying. The body of the hero will try to survive and will suddenly collapse immediately after his work is done.

53. A bullet which strikes the chest lifts your body up in the air and throws your arms up and you fall back 10 feet.

54. Someone will die only of a bullet in most cases, in others, he will be given or will take poison and if not any of them, he will have a heart attack and die at the spot.

55. Someone will feel the urge to take out some camera or a recording device just before an important incident is to take place and then close is immediately when happened.

56. If you are lost in a jungle alone and being attacked by a ferrocious tiger, your scream will bring a strong human resident of the jungle to come and save you seconds from disaster.

57. A hit on the head makes people go unconscious.

58. After being hit by 14 bullets, the hero will hit 14 bad people with 1 bullet each and all of them will be thrown away and die within seconds.

59. Some rescue helicopter will hear your scream kilometres high in the air amidst its own noise.

Movies which involve huge animals

-Any animal which isn't a human will grow 50 times its size when exposed to some sort of radiation.

-If some exotic pet escapes from its cage, it will likewise grow to immense proportions.

-No matter what city you're in, the streets are always wide enough so that giant monsters could walk on it.

-Many monsters, even machines, are somehow depicted in ancient myths.

-It takes only a few seconds to pick a name for an unknown giant monster.

-If a monster is evil, it has enough energy to spout an infinite number of energy beams from its mouth. If it's a good guy, it can only shoot at most 2 energy beams before it nearly collapses of exhaustion.

-A monster's energy beam can effortlessly destroy a huge, heavily armored robot, but takes 5 seconds to shoot through buildings.

-No matter where you are, there's always a clearing big enough for almost a dozen monster to rumble in.

-Giant flowers are always a problem. They'll either blow up in a mile wide explosion, or they'll mutate into vine-whipping, acid-spitting atrocities.

-It takes all the electricity in a city to power a handful of tanks.

-The power of a missle is inversly proportional to how much you talk about its "capabilities".

-Aliens wear pimped out jackets and know martial arts.

-If there's an object you need to destroy quickly, it will always have a near-inpenetrable energy sheild.

-When you see an ordinary building and its name pops up in the subtitles, the building will be destroyed in about 15 minutes.

-When fighting monsters, the infantry soldiers always carry machine guns.

-If you have a strange looking lightsaber, you are one of the most powerful Jedi in the galaxy.

-Tiny spaceships never get destroyed. Huge kilometer-wide starships will be destroyed in a matter of minutes.

-A pistol is enough to kill a horde of man-sized creatures.

-Anything with wings or an extra body cavity can fly.

-People will always leave their homes with the lights on.

-Monsters can stand knee-high in the middle of the sea.

-In order to swim, monsters only need to bob their bodies up and down.

-A big drill can pierce right through armor. Nuclear beams can't.

-Red energy beams are hotter and more powerful than blue or white beams.

-Any monster which has more than one energy beam will be nearly impossible to kill.

-A shell can withstand energy beams but not missles.

-No matter what, the hot female character will always hang out with the ugly geek.

-Global warming doesn't melt ice caps or change the weather. It instead causes giant eggs to hatch or animals to go crazy.

-Any attack that has a whirly sound effect will hurt like crap.

-Flimsy towers can easily support giant insects or birds.

-Energy beams can be shot from the mouth, eyes, hands, nose, chest, knees, and wings.

-If someone constructs a weapon but accidentally shoots it at the "good guy" monster, it will prove lethal.

-If you have wings or more than one head, it takes over 3 monsters to beat you, and over 11 monsters to actually kill you.

-All military facilities have a screen which shows a perfect picture of the attacking monsters.

-Repairing a heavily damaged, 40 story robot takes a week.

Give me my stars, click this link http://in.answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Al... and read everything except the 38 things that happen in movies because they are in this page too. after you visit that page, then come back here to read everything.

HOW TEMPERATURE AFFECTS THE MIND

40 degrees:

Californians shiver uncontrollably.

People in Scotland sunbathe.

35 degrees:

Italian cars won't start.

People in Scotland drive with the windows down.

20 degrees:

Floridians wear coats, gloves, and wool hats.

People in Scotland throw on a T-shirt.

15 degrees:

Californians begin to evacuate the state.

People in Scotland go swimming in the sea.

0 degrees:

New York landlords turn the heat on.

People in Scotland have a last barby before it gets cold.

-10 degrees:

People in Miami are extinct.

People in Scotland lick flagpoles.

-20 degrees:

Californians all now live in Mexico.

People in Scotland throw on a light jacket.

-80 degrees:

Polar bears begin to evacuate the Artic.

Scottish Boy Scouts postpone winter survival excercise until it gets cold enough.

-100 degrees:

Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.

People in Scotland wear a vest and pull down their ear flaps.

-173 degrees:

Ethyl alcohol freezes.

People in Scotland are angry 'cos they can't thaw their whisky kegs.

-297 degrees:

Microbial life starts to grind to a halt.

Scottish cows complain of farmers with cold hands.

-460 degrees:

ALL atomic motion stops.

People in Scotland start saying " A bit hill billy ... eh? "

-500 degrees:

Hell freezes over.

Scottish people support England in the World Cup

After tucking their three-year-old child Sammy in for bed one night, his parents heard sobbing coming from his room. Rushing back in, they found him crying hysterically. He managed to tell them that he had swallowed a penny and he was sure he was going to die. No amount of talking was helping.

His father, in an attempt to calm him down, palmed a penny from his pocket and pretended to pull it from Sammy`s ear. Sammy was delighted.

In a flash, he snatched it from his father`s hand, swallowed it, and cheerfully demanded, "Do it again, Dad!"

HUSBAND LIST OF RULES FOR THE 2006 WORLD CUP

1. From 9 June to 9 July 2006, you should read the sports section of the newspaper so that you are aware of what is going on regarding the World Cup, and that way you will be able to join in the conversations. If you fail to do this, then you will be looked at in a bad way, or you will be totally ignored. DO NOT complain about not receiving any attention.

2. During the World Cup, the television is mine, at all times, without any exceptions. If you even take a glimpse of the remote control, you will lose it (your eye).

3. If you have to pass by in front of the TV during a game, I don't mind, as long as you do it crawling on the floor and without distracting me. If you decide to stand nude in front of the TV, make sure you put clothes on right after because if you catch a cold, I wont have time to take you to the doctor or look after you during the World Cup month.

4. During the games I will be blind, deaf and mute, unless I require a refill of my drink or something to eat. You are out of your mind if you expect me to listen to you, open the door, answer the telephone, or pick up the baby that just fell from the second floor....it wont happen.

5. It would be a good idea for you to keep at least 2 six packs in the fridge at all times, as well as plenty of things to nibble on, and please do not make any funny faces to my friends when they come over to watch the games. In return, you will be allowed to use the TV between 12am and 6am, unless they replay a good game that I missed during the day.