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Rock and a hard place...?
I'm going to try to make this short and sweet. My friends ex-boyfriend recently went to prison for 5 yrs for being a drug dealer. They broke up when he was arrested, but started talking to each other again before he went away. She talks to him everyday and is helping him get through this hard time. She says she's not waiting for him to get out and has seen a few guys since he's been gone. She said she wanted to go visit him and a month or so ago, I told her I would go with her. We live in NY and he's in PA. I just recently started seeing a guy that I think is absolutely amazing. He asked me if I would go to a very high end party with him on the same day she wanted me to go visit her ex. I begged her to reschedule and she said there's no other day we can go. That's not true. We can go anytime, she just doesn't want to. I don't want to go to a prison yard. I want to go be with my amazing boyfriend and have a wonderful day! Will I be a terrible friend if I don't go with her? What do I do?
I'm 26 and am NOT the type of person that's ever been to a prison or even wants to go! I'm a good person and would be scared to death to go, but that's all the more reason I feel awful for letting her go alone. She won't pick another date. She's definitely going this Saturday. She's getting directions from his mother and she's off. Do I ask if she can have his mom go? I feel so awful but I would definitely rather go to this exclusive party than to a prison yard! I took a day trip to Maine by myself recently and begged her to go, but she wouldn't cause she didn't want to. Will I be a terrible person if I don't go with her?
7 Answers
- 1 decade agoFavorite Answer
No you would not be a bad friend. I don't know what your friend is thinking. She should not go see that guy either. There are so many guys out there and she doesn't need to deal with one in prison. I would go have fun with your man and let her figure out that what she is doing is wrong. Tell her you don't feel comfortable going to the prison and you are sorry if it hurts her. I wouldn't go there either. You do what is best for you!!!
- 1 decade ago
Wow, that's REALLY tough! Maybe you can split the day? Go with her fairly early in the morning, then be back in time for the party? Or maybe be back in time to only miss an hour or two of the party? I'm not sure what part of NY you're from, or what part of PA he's in (because I know how far a trip there can be, depending on the area), but if it's close enough, maybe you can work that out.
It sounds like a great opportunity, this high-end party, and you deserve to have a great day with this guy! If she won't leave to go to PA early in the morning, or she can't promise you that you'll be back in time to make at least half of the party, then I would suggest asking her mom to go with her. I wouldn't want any of my friends going to a prison alone, either. As a good friend, she should understand your needs and wants, and you are doing for her.
- ?Lv 61 decade ago
Well i,m not really sure but they only allow visitation to prisoners on a certain day. You can't just walk up and say i want to visit so and so. You made this promise to your friend before this guy asked you to a party....I think you should go with your friend, That guy will be there when you get back. A Friend is something you should cherish, they are they're for you when you need them the most. one day you may need her to be they're for you. Good Luck.
- Anonymous1 decade ago
Yeah, I think you will be a terrible person if you don't go. You made a commitment to your friend and you shouldn't back out because something better came along. Also if your guy is as amazing as you say he is, he will understand, and probably respect you more, becuase you didn't bail on your friend. If you do bail...don't be suprised if she re-evaluates whether she really wants to be friends with you.
Guys come and go, but a good friend will be around forever. I have seen so many people throw away their friends for guys and then when the guy turns out to be a jerk, they are left with no one
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- Anonymous1 decade ago
I think you should tell her exactly how you feel about going. Tell her you are very sorry, but you do not feel comforable. AND if she is a good, and understanding friend, she will not force you to do something or guilt-trip you into doing something that you don't feel comfortable doing.
Source(s): I'm really sorry, I don't usually do this, Actually I h8 people that do this... BUT can someone please see my following question... I am in dire need of help! Thank you! http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Ag7cx... I'll completely understand if you give me thumbs down, but I need help with my question asap! - SummerLv 51 decade ago
If you already committed to her then you should go with her. Can you meet up with the guy after you guys get back?
- MiZz SaAkLv 61 decade ago
guys come and go...but friends are there for the long haul...just think what if this was you...and she did this to you...would you like it...prolly not...whos to say your even gonna be with this guy in a month from now!!!