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Is it time for me to ride off into the sunset?
I really love my boyfriend, and he says he loves me, but sometimes I wonder if he really does. We've been going together for a little while, and at first, he couldn't pay enough attention to me. Flowers, romantic dinners, kisses and cuddling, etc. Now he acts like it's a major effort to get physical. We're down to doing it maybe twice a week, and more often than not, he wants me to watch him do himself. He used to talk about living together, and getting married, but now he says he's just not in a position to "offer me anything". Why the change? I might add that he's the one who started with all the marriage, and living together talk, and I resisted, then when I said it all sounded good, he suddenly started backtracking, now I feel like a fool who's just been had. Why do so many guys do that? Do they think they have to make promises, in order to get close?
So I asked him if he wanted to break up, and he wouldn't say yes or no, I told him I won't call again until he calls first?
Here are a couple of details. First, he did call me again, and we are still going out, but I'm not going to give him any more sex until he shows me he's really serious about wanting to stay together. We met for lunch yesterday, and he called three or four times throughout the day, but he didn't ask me over for the night, or anything. I wasn't going to go anyway. How long should I keep this up, and what all should I look for? Flowers, dinner, or what? What I really want is a serious talk, but he keeps sidestepping me on that. Like yesterday, all he talked about was work, his kids, etc. He still doesn't show any interest in asking me about my life, or interests, or anything. Doesn't it seem like he should if he really cares? Then again maybe it's too soon, I don't know. Any ideas, anyone?
11 Answers
- alexisannedLv 41 decade agoFavorite Answer
Okay well first may i say good job. You're working for a change right now and that's the first part. Most of the time women chose guys who will never love them but you don't sound like that. But you shouldn't have to put up with him hurting you.
The key to an honest and successful relationship is good communication, which you guys are lacking. You won't solve this until you get your feelings on the table and if he's not willing to open up and talk with you if may just be time to ride off into the sunset. You can't wait forever for him to open up and talk to you. the relationship has to be about you both giving 110%. If he's not doing his share it's not fair to you.
Take him to lunch and tell him everything. You fears, what you think and especailly where you want this to go.
Good luck hon and hope it all works out for you. Whether you end up with him or move on. I'm sure you'll make the right decision.
- 5 years ago
Because we set out in our desire to lead the vagrant cowboy life, riding for days on end and just had a pony for a friend. ( Until you got hungry and had my poor Jolly Jumper for breakfast , lunch and dinner as well , you heartless barbarian ! ) And along the way : meeting the simple farmers, the people of the land, the common clay of the West. You know -- morons . I remember the day we met when I came ridin' out of the Valley of Death where it was so dry you couldn't spit. What an interesting first meeting we had. You : You seem mighty thirsty,Have a long dry ride? Me : No - I had a herring for breakfast. You : What's your name stranger?. Me : Folks call me .......Strange You : Strange? What's your first name? Me : Very. But you can call me Strange. Ah, those were the days, my friend.
- Fade To BlackLv 61 decade ago
Sounds to me like he was thinking that you would be a thrill in the sack and he found out that it isn't so but he's still trying to squeeze a little bit of satisfaction out of you if he can.
Maybe if you would be willing to improve your skills and be more adventurous under the covers he would take a more serious interest in you. Men like a women to sometimes take the lead in bed and also be submissive at times too.
Give it a try for a couple of months and if things don't change more to how you want, take a walk.
Best Wishes
.
- 1 decade ago
I had to be cruel, but why should he marry you? He has everything HE wants...your giving it up, keeping him around, and staying with him when he isn't 'offering you anything.'
You have 2 choices: 1) Stay with him, understanding that things might not change..or even get worse, or 2) Break up for awhile. Tell him you need some air. DONT answer his calls for 5 days. No phone calls. Then, call him back. Only talk 5 minutes. He will come crawling back to you like a puppy. Dont be so soon to give him sex. Men are warriors-when they have conquered something, they feel good, but bore easily. Let him try to have to catch you again-your worth it!
Good luck!
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- Anonymous1 decade ago
I am sorry, but I think you were just a temp stepping stone. He did what he did to get you to open up. Now he want to go and probably find a new project. If he dosen't ask about you, and how you are doing, he probably dosen't care enouph. Stop everything intimate and move on.
- 1 decade ago
Ok, this is a bad situation. To me it sounds like he is acting like a jerk to make you break up with him. Which you should do, if he is just confused and you do break up with him, then maybe that will help him decided what to do, if he is a jerk and trying to get you to break up with him, then he has his wish and you are much better off. If you don't break up with him, then tell him that you are deciding to date other people because this relationship is not going where you thought it was going and you don't want to waste anymore time.
- Joey MichaelsLv 41 decade ago
Try this: Tell him you want to get your virginity back and that he owes it to you. When he gives you that quizzical look , just tell him that unless he can give it back to you, you will have to get married.
If h runs, you were never meant to be. If he says "yes" then telll him you were just kidding and that you gave up your virginity a long time ago to a guy who was much more handsome and larger.
- Anonymous1 decade ago
why buy the cow when you can get the milk free not calling you a cow or any thing find someone who is ready to commit and not just to sex if there in it for the long haul they will wait as long as you hold out not put out
- I HeartLv 61 decade ago
It sounds to me that he was just trying to see how far he could push you into things, he is a sick man... stay away from him and be glad he isn't interested, you don't need a manipulative freak like this one...
- Anonymous1 decade ago
If he is asking you sex regularly may be he is interested only to have sex with you.