Guys, what are your reasons for dating multiple women?

You need to break these questions down a bit... it's a little like drinking from a fire hose here.

Here's my thoughts:

You may be overestimating guys a bit. Virtually every single woman I know has a few guys in her back pocket, it just that she can't reveal it, or she'll be called a sl*t - whether or not she's actually sleeping with them. Guys get called studs for the same thing, so they'll blab about it (and exaggerate mercilessly about it) to look good. It's a double standard, often re-enforced by women themselves more than men.

I have dated multiple women and this is generally the thinking - every guy's personality is different, so just because I do this doesn't mean all guys do:

I usually have one or two girls I'm "seriously prospecting" for a committed relationship. I date them because I'm getting to know them, trying to understand them and give them a chance to understand me. Often, one of them will really stand out and I will intuitively know that she is the one for me. THIS DOES NOT AUTOMATICALLY MEAN MARRIAGE!! It means I will drop all the others, stay loyal and commit to being "with" her.

Now, "all the others". These are what I call intimate relationships/friendships. These are girls/women that I KNOW won't ever turn into a serious, committed relationship - whether by personality differences, maturity differences, or whatever. They ALWAYS know where they stand. They are never in the dark about where they're "at" with me. Often, whenever one of the serious relationships develop, these others become "just friends" and we stop having sex. I have kept these friendships for years and years on end, through a couple different relationships. Two of them got married to guys I introduced them to - and I was at the weddings! Cool, huh?

I feel bad for the ones I'm serious about, they really go through the ringer - they have to show a lot of trust and be trustworthy themselves. That's not to say I don't go through a considerable amount of trouble myself! The only reason for this is because there is so much more on the line. Sometimes we get sexual before getting serious, sometimes

we don't. Often, the sex consumates the seriousness of our connection. For example, right now, I'm seriously considering a committed relationship with a girl who is in a relationship already. We have a powerful connection, so we're just hanging out every day or so at a coffee shop we keep seeing each other at before she heads to work. I have no intention of breaking her relationship up, I have no desire to pressure her towards anything... but I think there's something strong there for both of us. So we keep talking, connecting and generally getting to know each other. The sexual tension is definitely there, but if she offered, I would accept only on the understanding that it would be to take us closer to a seriously committed relationship. This inherently means her boyfriend will need to go. Because I think there's something in the stars for us, I will be happy to wait.

Basically, there's no hard and fast rules about who gets selected for sex and who gets selected for relationships - it's played on intuition. We can't deny our deepest desires and needs.

This could mean a variety of things. Maybe you're scared of commitment or of women. Possibly you had a life experience that turned you off to certain types and that's what you attract. This could also mean you are genuine and not a player; you know that you don't want random hook ups and to use people for sex and you don't want to be used either. (Good for you! that's rare to find these days.) Or, the other option, you could be confused about your sexuality. Denial is strong and maybe you need to just reflect on how you feel. Do you ever, I mean EVER, even the slightest bit, think about men in more of a friend way? I'm not an expert by any means, so please don't be offended or anything. I hope you figure things out. (:

it's like going to the candy store......

ah! you know the rest!!!