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Marry for love or money? (with a twist)?

I know this question has been asked lots of times but it's always so black and white. Supposing there are two men who want to marry you and who love you equally and to the same degree. Which one would you choose?

a) POOR GUY- whom you really love but whom you also know will not improve his finances in the future. Your lifestyle will be so-so. You can't let your kids have the best because you won't be able to afford it and you can forget about "wants" (shopping, entertainment, vacations, travel) because you only have enough to get by.

B) RICH GUY - You love him too just not as much as poor guy. There's a guarantee of happiness and contentment when it comes to family life and lifestyle but even though you love him, you know you will always wonder about "poor guy" BUT you know your kids will get the best opportunities for them which "poor guy" won't be able to provide.

Update:

Marrying RICH GUY won't be marrying just for money since you love him too just not with the same intensity as POOR GUY.

18 Answers

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    .

    The way you describe the options makes it sound like a difficult choice, but really it's not. You have to go with poor guy. Love beats money any day of the week.

    I know, you say you love rich guy... just not as much as poor guy. I'm sorry, but I've been around a while and I don't believe there are "degrees" of love. There are people I love like family and there is someone I love like a life partner; like someone with whom I would make a lifetime commitment. Anything less than a total commitment kind of love is really something else.

    All of the things you name that would be good about rich guy are REALLY nice things to have in your life, but there are plenty of less-well-off people out there who manage to live happy and fulfilling lives without vacations and shopping and travel.

    Here's a little test for yourself. Suppose you describe the situation to rich guy and poor guy separately, and ask each of THEM what you should do? What do you think each of them would tell you? I would say that the one you should marry is whoever tells you that you should marry the other guy. What do you think each of them would say?

    It's a tough choice. Good luck!

    .

  • 1 decade ago

    You love them both, you love the poor guy more but MOST IMPORTANTLY FIND OUT WHICH OF THEM LOVES YOU MORE. (A man's love should exceed that of a woman. A woman is flexible and can easily love when loved and can also be deeply hurt. But a man could care less if his heart shifts to another woman)

    POOR GUY

    I would not go for a poor guy who does not have prospects of improvement. I could go for a comfortable guy who loves me more and has prospects of improvement (I am not poor myself am a smart woman) Men should be smarter than women and hard working. Love without money could be dry.

    for a man not to have prospects for improvement he must be lazy and or dumb. Any intelligent man could get rich (even if he is mad today, once he is cured, there is hope as long as he is intelligent).

    If you earn better than him, you cant tell if he really loves you or not. (of course he might even so). What if he gets some other rich lady, what do you think he would do? You may help lift/improve him (I would not do that though). A man should go for a woman he is better than or who is within his limit

    IF HE IS LAZY or DUMB - IT IS A RED FLAG = standard, no improvement.

    RICH GUY

    Be sure you love him and not just for his money. Maybe you love the poor guy more because you dont know the rich guy well enough as you do the poor guy.

    If the rich smart guy loves you more go for him dont look back, especially as he is smarter than the poor guy (that is what you made me understand). But remember also that the rich man could lose his wealth tomorrow but then that might not be a problem b/cos even if a good smart man falls, he will get back on his feet or close to it.

    As for me, i would be concerned about a guy's personality if he is rich and still single. (If he is very rich and famous or of royal lineage). You might not be happy except he really loves you for you and not just need you like a piece of artifact to compliment his wealth.

    Source(s): me and logic
  • 1 decade ago

    Eventually even the love for the "poor" guy will turn into a content life, so if you love both of them, think about your future. While some might say, all you need is love, its not always true. We do live in a world where money is important and will make life much easier. You might be just as stressed with "poor" guy worrying about finances all of the time, and it could put a strain on your relationship. It is possible "poor" guy could advance in his career and become wealthy one day, so I would follow my heart with this one, but also think about your future. "Rich" guy could lose his job, and what are you left with?

  • 1 decade ago

    This is rediculous. If you know you love one more than the other then the answer should be clear.

    Why do you have to rely soley on the man to provide for your financial happiness and well being? You sound able bodied. Why can't you help earn money to support the family as well?

    Also, just because someone has money does not guarentee happiness. What if the guy with money ends up resenting you for not contributing to the finances the same way you are predicting you will resent the poor guy.

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  • 1 decade ago

    I am in the "poor guy" situation. I am glad that I am. I do wish we had money sometimes, of course! But no matter what happens I always know we'll be o.k. Also, I truly believe that people who get divorced over money, were never really meant to be together in the first place. I love my husband so much that something as silly as money could never split us apart. There are free or really cheap things you can do as a family or with your kids, and its wonderful for the children to see a happy healthy relation ship. Alot of rich couples end up in divorce too. Like I said, they were never meant to be together. Rich or poor, happiness is always best for your kids and yourself.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Marry for love...if you'll always wonder about Poor Guy when you marry Rich Guy then you'll feel an emptiness. You may even start to resent him which will lead to alot of fighting and eventually divorce. So save yourself the trouble, marry the Poor Guy. You'll be happier... and with that happiness you'll feel like you have everything anyway.

  • 1 decade ago

    If you went with option B here, you wouldn't wonder what it would've been like with poor guy, as you've already told us what it would be like!

    Considering that one of the number 1 reasons that people divorce is money problems, I'd have to think you'd be happier over all with the rich guy. 1 good year with a bloke you love 100% is not as good as 50 good years with a bloke you love 85%.

    Mind you, you could always go with poor guy, and get your own job, and let him look after the kids... welcome to the world of tomorrow!!

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Which one can't you live without?

    Money does make things easier, but love is the glue that holds a couple together through thick and thin. You can't look at love the same way you buy something, you can't choose who you love. If money means that much to a person, well, it's your choice. I chose love, and we are still together, going on 15 years. You can always make more money, somehow.

  • Love because you said your self you love the Poor Guy more and then you guys might not be able to have everything you want but you can work things out.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Marry rich guy with no prenup and keep poor guy on the side.When the time is right take half and marry poor guy. Or you could always marry both and move to Utah!

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