Are Filipino parents just....Oh I don't know....STUPID?

I understand how you are feeling. Just to let you know this happens to everyone. I know that phrase called "respect me" that comes from your parents can get very annoying when repeated like a broken record that will eventually lead to be tiresome. A lot of times your parents just want the best for you. They want to make sure that your not going to go through the same struggles as they once did. Always remember that. However your parents have to realize is that you too need respect. Your 29 now, I think it's past due and you do need respect back from your parents just like they need respect from you. For them to not agree and/or at least come to respect some of your thoughts is just being "ignorant". I don't mean any insults using the word "ignorant" because to Filipinos I know that that word is like a four letter word to them. It's almost forbidden and they feel so insulted. But it's true they need to realize you are your own person now. There is not that much they can really do anymore other than be there for you when you need them. I think both parties need to talk to each other and try to understand one another. Listen and get a third opinion that will also be present during the meeting. The best third person is someone you both admire and agree with. I hope this helps and best of luck.

I am a Filipino as well, with liberal Filipino parents (who, by the way, happened to be born and raised in the Philippines) who I was honest with, even when I did some very horrible mistakes. By the way things are going, I don't think your situation is a win-win one if things are still going the same way. If you are already an adult (as you said, by the age of 29), you should just think for yourself regardless of what your parents think- if you know what is right for you, and you are honest with yourself... call me blind, but I believe that once you show more independence then your parents would definitely respect you. I have no idea if you live with them (that might a major reason why they still have authority over you). You DON'T have to marry a woman if she is a nurse or a pre-med, by the way (there are many other positions that women have that are just as "high", and just because a woman has a medical position doesn't necessarily mean she is the one you love), you DON'T have to do things you DON'T want to do, and nobody can force you- the only thing that would drive you and force you is the wanting of approval from your parents (and by the way, if they really are- you shouldn't let them manipulate you)- and that is where you should ask yourself what you really want. In relationships, just because the people in it don't agree with each other on all levels doesn't mean that they don't love each other. Good luck and hope to hearing some good things from you.

ok. Firstly, you don't have to limit this ti Filipino parents. All parents fall into that category to some extent. As immigrant parents, they made their lives in the Philippines, and became enough of a success to be able to get to the US and start a family here under better circumstances.

They still remember the old ways of doing things. When they see you do something that is out of sorts with how they were brought up, they will react to it. Not always the way you would like.

Respect for parents is deeply engrained in the Asian mindset. So is superstition. If you reject either or both of these, you'll irritate them to no end.

Now, as old fogies, they don't have the time or need to keep up with the latest and greatest trends, devices, and such, so they don't. They often know nothing about them. Bear in mind that they don't know about them in part because they sacraficed that part of life to give you a good life, as best they could. At any rate, they are trying to make this world fit into their world, and sometimes it is very hard.

Have patience with them. Remember all the neat things that they do differently. They will later be wonderful memories. Of course, now they will drive you nuts.

They may actually be trying harder than you to understand the situation. There is just so much to learn about the new culture, and it is hard to let go of what you grew up with.

Incidentally, your kids will be writing this about you in another few years. Come to think of it, your parents would have written this about theirs, if they had something like an internet back then....

I will have no reaction at all. Different people, different strokes. For me, there's nothing wrong both ways. Even though I admire parents that can still teach their children to speak our native language or at least know how to understand it. I have one friend that has 2 daughters who were born in Australia but can speak tagalog fluently. Its amazing and admirable. I tink its the same like learning some languages like french, chinese or spanish. It would work to the advantage of the kids. That's why I am 'trying' my best that my kids speak tagalog if at home or speaking to Filipinos. Cheers.

You are just one of those very unlucky Filipinos. Agreeably, I can somehow consider myself too as an unlucky person to have a very "Filipinized" parents, however, not as unlucky as you are maybe. But in case you aren't aware, I believe that the way you think towards your parents indicates to me that your "inflicted" by what we call "colonial mentality" because you seem to be detaching yourself from what is traditional among Filipinos. If the word "detaching" does not appear to be right to you, a simple manner of complaining about what is traditional is in itself an act of "colonial mentality." Nevertheless, your response towards your evidently "Filipinized" yet "irritating" parents is what I can consider a way of being aware about what is right for you and coming up with something as to how can you become not like them. Well, that should how younger Filipinos think. Dumping the "traditional yet demeaning" Filipino traits and live up to the "traditional and salubrious" ones while adapting "multicultural" traits without necessarily separating yourself from being a true-blooded Filipino. I guess it would have been a lot better if you could share some things you have in mind on how you are to go about in perhaps positively "influencing" your parents to make them "embrace" a little the newer generation's way of thinking. Moreover, I believe that not only Filipino parents are too traditional, others of different nationalities I guess are very traditional too. I am now a parent and I know I can never be too traditional. I hope this answer could at least make you think that the real issue is not one's nationality, and that it is all about influencing others, or our parents, positively. The most appropriate next question I think would be: How can a young Filipino like you influence positively his or her "traditional" parents?

Rather than calling your parents stupid, I would try to be more understanding of their position. You are apparently applying a modern sensibility to an older generation of people - your parents. They sound like they are most likely very traditional. There's a lot to be said for tradition. Our modern culture has lot a lot... It sounds to me though like you have not set out in the world and attained your own independence. I wouldn't blame your parents for this...and I wouldn't blame them for how they act. You cannot control them. You can only accept them or choose to not spend as much time around them... As to right or wrong - it doesn't matter. People are people...

The Holy Words of God can answer you on this. Eph 6:1

Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Eph 6:2 Honor thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise; Eph 6:3 That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth.

Although parents has to listen to this too.

Eph 6:4 And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

Col 3:20 Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord.

Exo 20:12 Honor thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee.

In my understanding on these set of Scriptures is to respect our parents as we fear God. Meaning, if we love God, we must obediently do His Holy Will and Commandments!

It's hard but, out of love and humility is the way to handle it. Matthew 22:37-40. AMEN.

You sound like a typical teenager from anywhere in the world. Most kids think their parents are stupid. You don't realize that they have lived though everything you are living though now. They are smarter now than they were as teens and hopefully you will be too as you age. Right now you sound pretty dumb.

omg. i totally know what you mean. and like even if you tell them theyre wrong or correct them, they still think theyre right! and like they they say the most ridiculous stuff, and after learning stuff in school for like, i dont know, forever!, you know that theyre wrong and you tell them the real answer, the one explained by science or medicine or whatever, and they still think theyre right! so freakin annoying!

trust me, not only Filipino parents