5 questions feared by men (star if you like plz ty)?

The 5 Questions Most Feared By Men>1. What are you thinking about?>2. Do you love me?>3. Do I look fat in this?>4. Do you think she is prettier than me?>5. What would you do if I died?>>What makes these questions so difficult is that each one is guaranteed to >explode into a major argument if the man answers incorrectly (I.e. Tells >the truth). Therefore, as a public service, each question is analyzed >below, along with possible responses.>>Question #1: What are you thinking about? The proper answer to this, of >course, is: "I'm sorry if I've been pensive, dear. I was just reflecting on >what a warm, wonderful, thoughtful, caring, intelligent woman you are, and >how lucky I am to have met you.">>This response obviously bears no resemblance to the true answer, which most >likely is one of the following: a. "Football." b. "Golf." c. "How fat you >are." d. "How I would spend the insurance money if you died.">>Perhaps the best response to this question was offered by Al Bundy, who >once told Peg, "If I wanted you to know what I was thinking, I would be >talking to you!">>Question #2: Do you love me? The proper response is: "Yes!" or, if you feel >a more detailed answer is in order, "Yes, dear.">>Inappropriate responses include: a. "Oh yeah, sh*tloads." b. "Would it make >you feel better if I said yes?" c. "That depends on what you mean by love." >d. "Does it matter?" e. "Who, me?">>Question #3: Do I look fat? The correct answer is an emphatic: "Of course >not!">>Incorrect answers are: a. "Compared to what?" b. "I wouldn't call you fat, >but you're not exactly thin." c. "A little extra weight looks good on you." >d. "I've seen fatter." e. "Sorry, what did you say? I was just thinking >about how I would spend the insurance money if you died.">>Question #4: Do you think she's prettier than me? Once again, the proper >response is an emphatic: "Of course not!">>Incorrect responses include: a. "Yes, but you have a better personality. " >b. "Not prettier, but definitely thinner." c. "Not as pretty as you when >you were her age." d. "Define pretty." e. "Sorry what did you say? I was >just thinking about how I would spend the insurance money if you died.">>Question #5: What would you do if I died? A definite no-win question. (The >real answer, of course, is "Buy a Ferrari and a boat.")>>No matter how you answer this, be prepared for at least an hour of >follow-up questions, usually along these lines:>>Woman: Would you get married again?>Man: Definitely not!>Woman: Why not -- don't you like being married?>Man: Of course I do.>Woman: Then why wouldn't you remarry?>Man: Okay, I'd get married again.>Woman: You would? (With a hurtful look on her face)>Man: (audible groan)>Woman: Would you sleep with her in our bed?>Man: Where else would we sleep?>Woman: Would you put away my pictures, and replace them with pictures of >her?>Man: That would seem like the proper thing to do.>Woman: And would you let her use my golf clubs?>Man: She can't use them -- she's left-handed.>Woman: (silence)>Man: Sh*t.