I shaped up my earlier writing based on suggestions, how does it look now?

Keep in mind before you read this, and it will be painfully obvious to many, I am not a writer and in forty years I cared not to read anything fiction....so with that, let me know your thoughts and constructive critics.

Gingerly sweet the whisper seeps

Through the forest so deep

Beyond the king of three winters go

A freshly fallen virgin snow

Deep in the abyss kindles a spark

Can you hear the silenced lark?

Soft and tender my journey's step

To the old woman who has wept

The perilous forest is unforgiving

Especially to those among the living

Weeping still she rests near the stream

Echoes not her grieving scream

Curious eyes watch in sorrow

for none know what comes the morrow

Upon bended knee in the moon's glow

A solitary tear to the stream below

She cradles the warrior like a child

Deep within this forest so wild

Tarnished armour blades of rust

So fragile this tender trust

Linger long her mournful sobs

For a life the gods have robbed

Brave warrior of old all agree

But fate comes to even thee.