why does it tend to hurt?

your mind is still trying to work it out. you may have some issue about his death or still struggle to understand why. talking with someone you trust can help you work it out.

Hi!

As your mind prepares for sleep after a traumatic experience the trauma will often come to the fore. My guess, and it can only be a guess as only you can work this out over time, is that your uncles death and the circumstances of it were totally unexpected to you. He made a decision that baffles you. Only he could explain why he did what he did, but he's not here to do so because of the decision he made.

Although he can't answer, next time this happens ask the questions that are on your heart. It may be that expressing your hurt will release some of the pressure that your uncles death has put on you.

For what it is worth, you will come to terms with this in your own time and your own way, perhaps with support from those around you.

Good wishes.

horrific images are difficult to resolve, especially when we are younger and have no frame of reference for what happened.

How often did you think about suicide

before it happened in your family?

Have you noticed family is reluctant to talk about it?

suiciders are universally condemned by society. Some churches won't allow

burial in "sacred" or ground blessed by clergy. So there is condemnation that goes with the rank physicality of the act.

You are starting the process of dealing with it. Do try to get your family involved. Explain to them that you don't understand. Find out about your uncle too. What was he like? What was he seeking? And what was on his mind he had to resort to suicide?

Write about it in a journal, in fact it is a good idea to keep a journal about your feelings. Keep it well tended and it will serve you well, indicating areas

in your life that you would like to change or improve on. It can serve as a barometer for your moods. A good place to write down your dreams too. It's an odd thing about secrets and things that are scary. The more open we are about them the less impact they have on our psyche. Fear is no fun but facing the fear makes it less dangerous.

Good luck.

death hurts. it is because we love the person who has died and we will miss them. when they commit suicide it is more painful because we wonder what we could have done to have prevented them from doing it. there was absolutely nothing you could have done. there is no guilt on your part. he was in a lot of paini physically and mentally and suicide was the only way he knew to stop the pain. there are 8 stages of greiving. how long it takes tp pass these 8 stages depends on the person doing the greiving. you might see about talking to your rabbi,priest,minister about your greiving they might be able to talk to you about it or else they may know of a group for you to attend that can help you go through all the steps of greiving. you might also want to go to a therapist for awhile. talk therapy can do a world of good for someone who is greiving,especially after someone who has committed suicide. GGOD LUCK! my heart goes out to you in this time of sorrow in your life.

You loved your Uncle. You feel hurt and bad that he felt the need to do that.