Hoarding. I'm a live in grandson of a hoarder. It's ruining my marriage! Help. Haow can I get Grandma to stop?

Hoarding is a very real disease. Try to find a counselor who will come to the home and speak with her. One of the major compulsions of hoarders stem from not wanting things to go to waste. Therapists can often help hoarders to donate their possessions for the sake of helping others rather than to "deny" others something she is hoarding. The psychology behind it is that the hoarder has to have an equally strong reason to part with the items initially. Once this is done, future hoarding can be curbed by reinforcing the mindset that hoarding these items may mean depriving others of their use. Eventually, the compulsion should curb itself.

Hoarding is so much more than people just wanting to stock up for the winter. It is something that has to be worked through with counseling and cognitive behavioral therapy. She would need someone to help her identify why she is holding on to all the items. Ive seen documentaries where the individual had a tough upbringing and was taught to keep everything, there was another instance where the person had OCD and really could not get rid of eveything due to her disorder. For her they coupled medication with planning to clean up areas of the home. It was a slow process for the women. These women were also younger (Im assuming) than your wifes gramma. Questions I would ask gramma would be: Can I throw away...... What can you part with... Why are you holding on to........, Her answers to such questions should help you assess what is going on inside her head a little better.

Good Luck

Try the library for some videos on hoarding, you will be surprised what youll learn about the disorder.

You have two choices, move out and get your own place, or try to help Granny work through her hoarding compulsion. It is a compulsion you know. It is a very difficult malady because people that suffer from this cannot let go of things because if they do they think they are getting rid of part of themselves. It mostly stems from childhood experiences and is very difficult to treat. Grandma needs psychotherapy, but if she will accept the fact that she has this problem or that it is a problem is another question. Most of the time when people help them to clean up, it stays neat for a while and then they revert back to clutter and hoarding, because that is their comfort zone. I know all about this malady because my oldest son is married to someone who sufferes from this compulsion and they are married a long time and she has never changed. She refuses to get rid of anything and all the closets my son has built and built ins for storage are eventually filled up with old outdated clothes, trinkets and just stuff that should be given away or thrown out and there is clutter all over the house. But she still wants to expand their bedroom, extend the dining room, expand anothe closet, and it goes on and on.

Trying to clean up for people with this hoarding compulsion is just as difficult because they do not like when people move their hoarding treasures around and place them or store them away. So my suggestion is to sit Grandma down and tell her that her hoarding compulsion is getting out of hand and you and your wife want to help her. If she refuses, there is very little you can do.

Seriously, before you marriage suffers, I would move out. Good Luck to you both.

I agree with the others, get her to a "psychiatrist" though, not a counselor. This is a form of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and she needs medication to control it. And the medication can do wonders.

how old is your grandma? may be you can bear with that till she's no longer capable of hoarding.. if it's getting crowdier in your house, you can suggest to look for another house for you and your wife unless her grandma stops hoarding.. I agree, you can sell her stuff at ebay should she decide to dispose it to vacate some spaces in your house for her future grandchildren.

How about getting a storage space? A little bit of money on your part, grandma can continue what she sees as a virtue, and you at least get the stacks of magazines and used butter tubs out of the house.

She's old, you can humor her a bit, she won't be around forever.

sell her stuff on ebay