Directed chiefly at those who know me: Would my answers to your questions make a good "stand-up" routine

Wait till the crowd is gooooood and wasted!

I think you just might have something there because I know more than once you have answered one of my quite witty questions (cough, cough) and have managed to make it humorous!! Why just a little while ago......... never mind, I'm getting off the subject!! Where were we?? Oh yes, let me know when the first show is, I would like to have a pair to tickets to it!!

Not a bad idea but I wouldn't sell out the lawn care business just yet. You might end up getting more violation notices at the club then on Yahoo! Just kidding, go for it!

Well, you don't answer mine very often, but I'm sure you would have people rolling in the isles if you read your stuff from here off to them. You make me laugh all the time.

Sure...but I think ya' oughta' use MY answers to YOUR questions

Whaddaya' think I'm doing here, pal...?!?

(I'm making farting sounds with my hand and armpit)

(the crowd laughs...)

See?

Works everytime...I'm on punchline roll right now...laugh, you "Boss Terd"...laugh...now...ta tum tum...this is your "cue..."

You missed it...too late...outa' luck...it's all over 'cept for the pumpkins...

When I'm good...

I'm damn good...

Gedda Faw Yaw! (Burp!)...

Don't be stealing my jokes, now...they're "top-notch...top notch...worth sayin' twice...okay, three times...top notch...

(Why do people always laugh when I use the word "minivan?")

Yeah, but just do the answers that I give, okay?

sounds like a good plan

hell yeah

Don't do it, bro.

You'd kill.