how do you get over a relationship that lasted 4 5years?

Who ended the relationship?

If it was you, then just keep reinforcing your reasoning behind the break up: he/she was a cheater, a liar, they were disrespectful, you had nothing in common, you bickered almost constantly, you never saw eye to eye, etc.

If it was the other half, then ask yourself what went awry: you cheated, you didn't give the person what they needed personality wise, sexually, conversationally, etc.

All in all, this was a great learning experience for you. You now have more knowledge of what you want and don't want from a partner, and plus you may have learned that your behavior needs to change if you want to have another partner.

At first, it will seem very hard to keep your mind off of your partner, but somethings can help, although they aren't the best they are short-term fixers: think about that horrible fight you had with him/her and how it seemed like he/she didn't 'get' what you were saying, or how he/she blew up needlessly and insulted you rather than trying to work through the problem together. You can be more detailed than that: the way their breath smelled was awful all the time, the way they dressed always bothered you, their dislike of something you really liked doing that you didn't do just to please your partner. The list goes on and on.

Say what you need to say to help yourself feel strong and confident again. There are so many people out there, one might be just perfect for you, but you might have been stuck with this one wrong person forever if you'd just put up with them! Imagine you two had married and had kids or shared property when you realized that you are actually incompatible and had been lying to one another for all these years--the kids would suffer, and you would have an even harder time getting over it after being together for so long.

Good luck, I hope this helps.

I'm going to give you my moms advice: If you were deeply in love it usually takes as long as you were together to to truly get over them. And it is best to better yourself during this time, think of the great person you'll meet. Also the distraction is good. If you guys broke up and are angry at each other, it will take as many months 4 or 5 as they years of your relationship. It's like mourning a death when you are with someone that long and the stages of mourning are definite. If you have already hit the anger stage the process goes faster.

Well it's not easy, it lasted for a while. Just remember the good times and accept that is over now. Time to move on. Every one goes through times like this. You are not the first or the last. Time and space will make you feel better..

Hang in there it will soon pass...

Its hard at first... but seriously you got to get over it and move on with your life. Do you think this person is still grieving over you? Probably not. I know its hard its not easy getting over a person who you have shared a lot during the 4 or 5 years you have been together but... in time youll notice that life cant stop on account of that. I hope you can find it in yourself to move on everyone deserves to move on. Take care...

Friggin tell yourself you will meet someone new this week, or every week the next two months. Being on the rebound in a new relationship, even if it isn't perfect, is still 10X better than marinating in sadness over your last relationship, which can last for years....

Take your time and don't rush into another relationship so fast. I was in a relationship that lasted 8 years and it took me three years to fully get over him. So, take you time...no matter what anyone says...it's your heart that feels the pain...not theirs!

You mean for 5 years. You just move on and face the fact that it is over.

You mean 4-5? if he/she moved on the maybe so should you

stay away from that person for at least a month or two, avoid all phone calls and emails and just focus on doing you for a little bit. no matter how bad it hurts

i know it is so hard...it has been 8 months since the break up of my alost 6 year relationship/it does get easier...and u get stronger..but the love is still there