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Would you find it offensive pt. 2?
Why is saying "training" someone offensive? Do you not train for a new job? And why? Because you don't know how to do it or because you could do better at it. People seem to be equating training with control and they are not the same thing. If you train for a new job, why should you not train for marriage? It is just as demanding and it is a lifetime committment.
You see, now that is what I thought. That people were being waaaay too politically correct and not telling the truth here. I however believe in telling the truth no matter what. The right answer and the true one are not always the same.
But marriage IS a job. I also equated men with children. Is that crossing the line also? You nurture your children, you correct them, you help them mature. You do the same for your dog (if you love it). Why is your spouse any different?
Yes, there are ways that people can learn to co-exist and that is what training is really about. A marriage is a co-mingling. A partnership. This is not an easy transition for anybody. It's your stuff, his stuff, his ideas, your ideas, his ways, your ways... people can be very stubborn about letting go of a "selfish" mentality and learning to be more considerate, in taking it in that it is not just them anymore, etc. This is what you train them in.
Lol. So many egos here. So much outrage over something that is really so simple. Watching the "I don't NEED training" responses is kind of funny. That is your ego talking. I have trained my husband and he is a better husband for it. And he knows it. My ex is a better man for it too and he does not dispute that (though he loves to dispute everything with me). Whatever works for you is whatever works for you. But don't blame your outrage on MY ego. Yours is the one that prickles at even the suggestion that you could use some improvement.
And by the way, I learn from my husband also. Just not the same things.
Human...
Now, you see? There is an honest response. No stupid ego or defensive posturing. And I agree, as I said before: it isn't really about gender. It's often about experience. Once we can free ourselves from this politically correct bullsh!t and these societal mores that we labor under, we will be much happier. Or They will. I already am. =:0)
12 Answers
- 1 decade agoFavorite Answer
No I don’t find it offensive. I’m not insecure about myself. I’m a jackass. However, I don’t really feel like I need training from my partner. I am usually the one that does the training. The women that I have been with are often inexperienced and not familiar with the ways of the world. I wind up being more of a father figure. I wind up introducing them to just about everything that they love, and then they get bored with me because they catch up to my level and then realize they don’t need a father figure anymore. Women need to feel safe and protected by their men. They’re very much like frightened deer wandering through a forest full of wolves. Men are needy. We need attention and someone to care for our neediness and tolerate our jackass behavior. It would be nice to find a woman that actually knows herself and knows what she wants out of life. A woman that’s not afraid to liberate herself and free her inner strength. I haven’t met one yet… I keep hoping…
Source(s): Several glasses of good scotch... - 1 decade ago
to me, marriage is a long term committment. Some men understand and behave responsibly. But I have found most men act childish and immature.
If this is the situation, why shouldnot they be corrected or trained. I normally use warnings, but had to slap at three occasions and it worked well. He has not repeated the same mistakes at least. But warnings does not seem to wrok for the long time as he reverts back to the same mistake again. Can you mail me other forms of training or correction methods?
- Anonymous1 decade ago
Marriage is a commitment that a person couldnt be trained for. The fact that you think you know what it takes to actually prepare someone, man or woman , for a marriage looks like you think way to highly of yourself. There is no way anyone could train for marriage, so why is this even a question??
- 1 decade ago
50% of marriages fail, no one is perfected. you assosiated training with dogs and that is where you crossed the line and it became offensive. in marriage you dont train cause there is no such thing as a "perfect" marriage thus you cannot train for one cause you dont know what situations and issues will arise. you need to "experience" and "learn". plus when you posted you made it appear that women are all knowing and higher than men, i dont think so. i seen many women act quite immaturely if not cold heartedly like some men do also. its all balance
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- Anonymous1 decade ago
So, exactly who are you planning to "train" and what are you planning to "train" that person for? Because you see, very few pastors will marry a couple who haven't undergone pre-marital counseling - i.e. training for marriage - with that pastor. Do you have someone else in mind as the teacher/trainer? What is that person's qualification for said task? You aren't so self-righteous that you think YOU are qualified to do it, are you? Proper preparation for marriage isn't just moving in together, kiddo!
- 1 decade ago
well if you planned on getting married since you were a kid you obviously prepare.
so saying you need to train for marriage can be offensive because it's like saying that i'm not the right one for you and i need to train to make you happy and make this marriage work when they had since their childhood to prepare.
it's insulting. if i was told i needed training i would cancel the marriage.
- dreamweaverLv 71 decade ago
because it should not be a job and there are things you need to learn to together and grow this is not a manual or training video and yes it would be control and maybe one sided you must take it from someone who has been married a long time
- 1 decade ago
No, I wouldn't find it offensive. What I find offensive are people that nit pick everything little thing people say, and don't think it is "politically correct".
I've got my husband trained, if it wasn't for me he wouldn't know what kind of pads to get at the store, how to clean the tub properly etc.
- SettelbanatLv 41 decade ago
Men would probably take this offensively as they were raised to believe they are better at everything and do not need training. You could call it communication or getting used to each other instead.
- Anonymous1 decade ago
Training is for jobs, dogs, kids but not husbands. Someone shouldn't get married if they feel that they have to "train".
