Let us have few Jokes with God?

Early one morning a Nun, who was also a nurse, was on her way to care for a sick person when her car ran out of gas about 200 feet from a gas station. She walked to the station and asked to borrow a gas can but was told it was already lent out to someone else. Being ever resourceful the Nun went to the trunk of her car and got a bedpan. She figured it would hold enough gas to move the car 200 feet so she could make it to the station. She filled the bedpan with gas, walked back over to her car, and began carefully pouring the gas in the tank. Two guys who had been partying all night came walking along and saw what the Nun was doing. One guy turned to the other and said "Now THAT'S what I call faith!"

1.A very gracious lady was mailing an old family Bible to her brother.

"Is there anything breakable in here?" asked the postal clerk.

"Only the Ten Commandments." answered the lady.

2.A minister parked his car in a no-parking zone in a large city because

he was short of time and couldn't find a space with a meter. Then he

put

a note under the windshield wiper that read: "I have circled the block

10 times. If I don't park here, I'll miss my appointment. Forgive us

our

trespasses."

When he returned, he found a citation from a police officer along with

this note "I've circled this block for 10 years. If I don't give you a

ticket I'll lose my job. Lead us not into temptation."

3.There is the story of a pastor who got up one Sunday and announced to

his congregation: "I have good news and bad news. The good news is, we

have enough money to pay for our new building program. The bad news is,

it's still out there in your pockets."

4,A Sunday School teacher began her lesson with a question, "Boys and

girls, what do we know about God?" A hand shot up in the air. "He is

an

artist!" said the kindergarten boy. "Really? How do you know?" the

teacher asked. "You know - Our Father, who does art in Heaven...

5.Sunday after church, a Mom asked her very young daughter what the

lesson was about. The daughter answered, "Don't be scared, you'll get

your quilt."

Needless to say, the Mom was perplexed. Later in the day, the pastor

stopped by for tea and the Mom asked him what that morning's Sunday

school lesson was about. He said "Be not afraid, thy comforter is

coming."

Jesus decides to play Golf on earth. He asks Moses to be his caddy.

At the second hole he holes out in a sand bunker and asks Moses to hand him, say, a No.5 Iron. Moses replies, " Lord, only Tiger woods can do that successfullywith a 5. Use some other club." And Jesus says, " I am Jesus Christ, the Son of God. Hand me that club." He cannot make the shot however.

Later, at the fifth hole the same thing happens. The Lord asks for the No.3 Iron. Again Moses says, " Lord. Only Tiger Woods can play that shot successfully with this iron. Choose another club."

Again Jesus says, " I am Jesus Christ and I work miracles. Now do as I say." Again he fouls up the shot.

At the eighth hole Jesus hits the ball into the lake. Being Jesus Christ, he walks on the water to try and retrieve his ball.

People observe this and run up to Moses and ask, " Say, that man is walking on water. Is he Jesus Christ?"

And Moses says, " Yes. But he's pretending to be Tiger Woods."

Because comedians draw on things their audience can relate to. White people don't really have a race thing to pick on other than the fact that white people (in history) have oppressed/discriminated on other people, and that's not very funny. But Dane Cook picks on Asian drivers. So there you go. White guy making racist jokes.

Very funny.

What is the difference between a conventional vacuum cleaner and a Hari Krishna Vacuum Cleaner?

The Hare Krishna Vacuum Cleaner is the one without all the attachments. LOL.

It really was a Buddhist joke, but I made it Krishna's.

Indeed a good joke. Jokes are good medicines. That makes laughter the best medicine indeed.

Thanks for asking. Have a great day!

In the beginning God created the heavens and the Earth. And the Earth

was without form, and void, and darkness was upon the face of the deep.

And Satan said, "It doesn't get any better than this."

And God said, "Let there be light," and there was light.

And God said, "Let the earth bring forth grass, the herb yielding seed,

and the fruit tree yielding fruit," and God saw that it was good.

And Satan said, "There goes the neighborhood."

And God said, "Let us make Man in our image, after our likeness, and let

them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the

air and over the cattle, and over all the Earth, and over every creeping

thing that creepeth upon the Earth." And so God created Man in his own

image; male and female created he them. And God looked upon Man and

Woman and saw that they were lean and fit.

And Satan said, "I know how I can get back in this game."

And God populated the earth with broccoli and cauliflower and spinach,

green and yellow vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live

long and healthy lives.

And Satan created McDonald's. And McDonald's brought forth the 99-cent

double cheeseburger.

And Satan said to Man, "You want fries with that?"

And Man said, "Supersize them." And Man gained 5 pounds.

And God created the healthful yoghurt, that woman might keep her

figure that man found so fair.

And Satan brought forth chocolate. And Woman gained 5 pounds.

And God said, "Try my crispy fresh salad."

And Satan brought forth Ben and Jerry's. And Woman gained 10 pounds.

And God said, "I have sent thee heart-healthy vegetables and olive oil

with which to cook them."

And Satan brought forth chicken-fried steak so big it needed its own

platter.

And Man gained 10 pounds and his bad cholesterol went through the roof.

And God brought forth running shoes and Man resolved to lose those extra

pounds.

And Satan brought forth cable TV with remote control so Man would not

have to toil to change channels between ESPN and ESPN2.

And Man gained another 20 pounds.

And God said, "You're running up the score, Devil." And God brought

forth the potato, a vegetable naturally low in fat and brimming with

nutrition.

And Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy center

into chips and deep-fat fried them. And he created sour cream dip also.

And Man clutched his remote control and ate the potato chips swaddled in

cholesterol. And Satan saw and said, "It is good."

And Man went into cardiac arrest.

And God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery.

And Satan created HMO's.

the problem with people today is they are too "religous" and think that any jokes are out of line! god created us with a semce of humor and the bible even speaks of too religous people such as scribes and pharassees, who did all the rituals and fasted often, but didnt truely know god, i thought it was funny, god wants us to be happy and laugh, " a merry heart doeth good like a medicine" look that one up!

a joke: after a sunday school service a mommy asks her child what they learned in sunday school. she replied, we sung a song about a bear with crossed eyes whose name is gladly. puzzled she continued on their day when finally realizing, she was refferrign to the song, gladly the cross i'd bare" hope you like this one

According to the Gnostics, the only problem with Jehovah is that he believes that he is God.

Once i was roaming carelessly like a sheep which has forgotten its route to home,then a shepherd came near it and took it into his arms and said,"I AM A GOOD SHEPHERD",always believe in me,i'll take you to y[our] home.