When you fart and it smells like fuel oil, does that mean I'm drinking too much cheap booze?

I'm so sorry, I should have put that butane back under the sink. Put your head on my lap and just get some sleep, you'll be fine.

I think, maybe, you've just solved the world's energy crisis.

"How much did you pay for a gallon of Johnny Gas today"

"I filled up my car for just 10 cents!"

Just because it says "alcohol" on the bottle doesn;t mean you can drink it

"Rubbing alcohol"? OK, it kinda tastes like vodka, but......

If the bottle bounces when you drop it on concrete, it's no good. Also, don't drink any vodka that ends in "ov"

No, something up inside you has died and turned into a natural fuel.

Don't let anyone light a match too close to you or you will be up in smoke.

No, it means your Preparation H is beyond it's expiration date.

Throw it away!

It means you shouldn't drink gin on top of Chinese take-out.

Yes, I think that it probably does mean that.

great Jehoshaphat !

you are too bleepin' funny