how do you handle stepdaughters who hate u? I try so hard yet they will not budge?

realize that it's really NOT about you... they are upset b/c mom and dad are not together, and they might see you as a reason why....treat them with kindness and know that this too shall pass... well, hopefully.... I wouldn't bend over backwards or anything, but treat them with dignity and respect, because as an adult you understand that that's the right thing to do... good luck...

often times step children see the other as the person that broke up there parents, even though that wasnt the case, and they do rebel against the step parent. and in turn getting the maternal parent to help you often doesnt happen,

one approach you might think about taking is easing up on some of the pressure and concentrate on earning the child's trust.

once you earn the child's trust then you can move foreward with other things. You have to understand what the child is feeling towards you, and most of the time it is anger, and feelings that you are trying to be a maternal parent instead of a step parent. You can earn this without giving up much ground, just by easing up the pressure to do things. especialy if there dad doesnt back you up.

You are trying too hard. The best way to handle such stepdaughters is to treat them with contempt.

You have to stop trying so hard. This is the leverage they are using against you. Have you tried the: I'm not going to try so hard anymore. Hate is a strong word and if it is true. You definitely need to back off. Be yourself and focus on your husband and you. They will eventually come around. And if they don't you still have your husband.

One day at a time. After a while they will see the luv between u & their Dad & they will hopefully realize u r not trying to take anyone elses place in their lives. If u have to dissapline the girls make sure their Dad backs u 100%. Good luck! Cheryl

thats the problem your trying to hard, treat them as if you would your own children , dont be friends, thats the worse mistake a step mom can make, do they take orders from their friends , NO .

you are another adult figure in their life, your goal is to guide them to adult hood, guide them to be self sufficient , mature, caring adults. Its probally not that they hate you , its that they hate who you are. You are their dads wife, you replaced their mom. If they act rude or break rules , dont let them slide because you dont want them to hate you mor., Punish them like you would your own kids.

A persons biological kids, half the time dont like their parents, so dont expect your husbands kids to like you . the more relaxed you are around them , the more you act like their is no difference between them and the other children , and the less you quit bending over backwards to please them , the better off you will be.

You cant make someone like you , if they choose to like you they will , all you can do is be nice , love them and treat them like your own .

You might explain that you love them , and you want a good relationship with them , that you could never take the place of their mother and you wouldnt want to , their mother is special , becuase she is their mother. Explain to them that your married to their dad , and that your role is just another adult figure in their life that deserves respect. good luck

Well I can try on this one... My neice also hates her step mom. All you can do is keep being nice, talk to them, I dont want to say buy them but offer to take them to lunch, or a small shopping trip for a few new clothes for school... Just be open and try talking to your husband, maybe he can talk to them. It is hard you didnt say ages or anything...

Sell them to an Asian sex ring in Japan.

Sounds like the bitter little b!tches need a session of counseling or perhaps like a savage beating from their father to straighten them out.

Stop trying so hard and allow them to have time to get used to the way things are.

How old are you stepdaughters? You need to try to stay calm and talk to your husband then you both need to speak to the girls about respect