'Twas the Night Before Christmas'--Ebonics Version?

I yelled to my lady, Yo peep this!

She said, Stop frontin just mind yo' bidness

I said, for real doe, come check dis out

We weren't even buggin, no worries, no doubt

Cuz bumpin an thumpin' from around da way

Was Santa, 8 reindeer and a sleigh

Da beats was kickin, da ride was phat

I said, Yo red Dawg, you all that!

He threw up a sign and yelled to his boyz,

"Ay yo, give it up, let's make some noise!

To the top of the projects and across the strip mall,

We gots ta go, I got a booty call!"

He pulled up his ride on the top a da roof

and sippin on a 40, he busted a move

I yelled up to Santa, "Yo ain't got no stack!"

he said, "Damn homie, deese projects is wack!

But don't worry black, cuz I gots da skillz

I learnt back when I hadda pay da billz."

Out from his bag he pulled 3 small tings

a credit card, a knife, and a bobby pin.

he slid down the fire escape smoove as a cat

and busted the window with a b-ball bat

I said, "Whassup, Santa? Whydya bust my place?"

he said,"You best get on up out my face!"

His threads was all leatha, his chains was all gold

His sneaks was Puma and they was 5 years old

He dropped down the duffle, Clippers logo on the side

Santa broke out da loot and my mouf popped open wide.

A wink of his eye and a shine off his god toof

He cabbage patched his way back onto the roof

He jumped in his hooptie with rims made of chrome

To tap that booty waitin at home

and all I heard as he cruised outta sight

was a loud and hearty.....

"WEEESSTSIIIIDE!!!!!!!"