Help I love two men, I love one and am in love with the other. I feel like I am living two separate lives:(?

Wow, I was in the exact same situation one had what the other did not and vise versa. Just to let you know I couldn't decide for six months because I wanted both. I ended up getting caught and broke both of their hearts. They both still wanted to be with me but, I ended up choosing the one I had been with the longest which is the one that had originally cheated on me. Guess what he cheated on me again and I now miss the one that I let go. Don't go with the one who cheated on you.

Having felt that, it is not as simple as he cheated, he is an ***, forget him. Emotions are dangerous and strong.The new guy does sound like the most rational choice, but to make that choice you'll need to understand what attracts you to the old guy and how important that is to you, otherwise you'll choose the new guy based on the rational and end up emotionally seeking something else because part of you will not be satisfied. If you do not know what draws you to the x, book some couch time and figure it out, you may think you can live with the new guy cuz it is the most rational choice, but if you don't understand yourself here, it can get uglier than it feels right now... Good luck. Do me a favor, figure it out before you marry one or the other, cuz being with someone that seemed great and needing something you thought unimportant that they can't give is a *****... Ask me how I know!!!!!

While I get the love and in love thing, it isn't important. Your rational mind is arguing with your emotions and you need to satisfy both, or neither man will work for you...

You answered your own question.

You allowed a man to use his child to get back into your life and in a way corner you. This guy is a cheater and he will again when the opportunity arrives, then he'll use his kid to get your forgiveness and the cycle goes on and on.

If the other guy is your dream man...what's the problem? You can't live in two worlds woman! In one moment you talk about how great this guy is with you and your kids and how deeply in love you are with him...then you say you went and had an affair with the ex...yeah, it's still an affair because you are with someone else. I must say if I was the new guy, I'd dump you quick - to just go off with your ex like that. JESUS CHRIST!

What you need to do is go away, alone, and re-evaluate your life and yourself. You apparently love being treated like crap and having all the rewards given to you for excepting it. Do you even know what you want? Besides you have your kids to think about as well, if not more so than yourself. It might even be advisable for you to seek counseling if you can not see how you are nothing but a pawn to your ex.

I hope that you find some guidance and eventually happiness in your life before your kids get messed up with all the back&forth from man to man stuff. Good luck.

So what you're admitting is you've become just like your ex. When you found out your b/f was cheating on you it had enough of an impact that you broke up with him. Now you found a great guy and you're treating him the same as your ex treated you. Sounds like you and your ex are made for each other. You need to break it off with your new b/f since he deserves someone who will love and respect him more than you have.

I know this advice sounds harsh but you've already screwed up your new relationship. Nobody wants a cheat and a liar and when he finds out about your exploits he's going to dump you anyway. Simple rule most people live by: Once a cheat always a cheat.

Your ex is a manipulator , he used his son to get back into your life not caring that your in a new relationship and happy , he sound's jealous and insecure , dont fall for it twice , he played you once with another woman he will do it again.

Once someone cheat's it's in their veins , the excitement , the rush , it's not worth your pain or your children's pain , seriously do yourself a favour and as hard as it is for you to let go of his son its his responsibility to raise his child not your's .

Tell him to stay out of your life and concentrate on the man who truely know's what love and commitment means.

You should stay with the one that you are happy with. If you think thats the right desition then go for it. Dont please anyone as you are the one thats living your life, and will live your desteny. if you dont love the guy, and you marry him, this will only be a soon divorse thing, and why hurt him later one, it might hurt now, and take a while to forget, but later on you will realize that **** happend, and things happen for a reason

Since the first guy cheated on you, how can you still be in love w/ him? It's like telling him it's ok to sleep around; in the back of your head, you should be wondering; What disease

will I catch this week?

Come on you can't be serious about this :~)

"He is much more responsible than the other man and it makes sense to be with him"

If I read your question correctly, that is the one who was cheating on you for three years? and he is the more responsible?

I think you need to get as far away as possible from both of them, and never ever look back.

Go with your heart and the new love. Take with you the three years of memories and maintain contact with his children, but you deserve a new chance at an honest, fresh start with someone who may not be as stable, but may be the better choice for your heart, mind and future.

Don't be with the second man that previously cheated on you for all that time. Who does that to someone they 'love' ?