Proposals? Asking Parents Permission?

my hubby proposed to me while i was holding my son. he asked me and then asked my son if it was ok that he married me. that was really cute. then before the big year knowing that my grandfather was sick (lung cancer) he asked my grandfather for his blessing. i loved my grampa more than my own dad. that meant a lot to me that he asked him.

These days it does not seem as important to ask the dad's permission for a lady's hand in marriage. My husband did not ask my dad. He figured, since we've been together in a serious relationship so long, if her dad did not approve he would have said something a long time ago. However, you should get a feel for the girl's family. Are they old fashioned? Does the girl prefer you ask the dad? If the girl prefers this, then it is a good idea. If she prefers this, it's probably likely that the dad my expect it, so you should do it just as a polite formality.

As for asking a girl to marry you, make sure to have a ring :) That's a must. Pick a romantic place, perhaps surprise her with the ring somehow. Be creative. Don't be nervous :)

my sister just got married, and my brother-in-law did ask my father for permission. their relationship was such that they both had talked about marriage with each other before and knew where the relationship was heading. anyway he asked her at a military ball. took her outside, stars, etc, and in his nice formal military outfit proposed. she was in a fancy dress. it's nice when u're both dressed up! in another instance, a friend was proposed to underneath a famous proposing tree, kinda obvious what would happen, but people hid in the bushes to catch the question and answer on videotape for them. so u can watch it later! basically always propose on one knee, if u can make it happen at an event that would be fancy anyway, all the better, if u take her out randomly to a fancy dinner she will know, or suspect.

These days, mature, independent couples are getting married, so it's not so much 'asking for permission' anymore. It's kind of telling your intentions, getting a stamp of approval from the parents. I think it's still a very nice tradition.

My husband had gone to talk to my mom - I didn't know about it at the time - before he proposed. He asked me in private, and that was the best thing!

My dad is very old fashioned...so a long time ago I told my fiance to ask my dad's permission if he was ever going to propose to me. Well he did and my dad was very happy and excited (he told everyone before I even knew) and I am very happy that my fiance did this for my dad. It really meant a lot to him.

My fiance proposed to me on a rainy night. We were going to go camping and we were stuck in our van in the woods because it was raining too hard to set up a tent. He had written a song and played the mandolin for me and proposed in the song. It was very romantic. The rain stopped right after... Originally he wanted to proposed to me under the stars but I wouldn't change anything about how it all went down! I never knew he could be so romantic!

That is a tough one. I can see arguments for both before buying the ring and after buying the ring. I think modern tradition is that it just happens before the formal proposal. I know my brother secretly took a weekend and went to his future in-laws and met with them individually and then together. It was after he picked out the ring but before he collected it. A close friend of mine just got engaged and chose to ask/tell her parents. He already had the ring but hadn't chose a date to ask yet, and basically slipped it out really quickly when his then gf left the room, but it became torture for her mom not to celebrate and talk about it. Something else to consider, he should make sure to giver her parents enough time to "think about it". If her father/parents asks to think about it before answering, it will be very disrespectful to run out and ask her the next day before the parents give their blessing. They may also ask him to do something before they give their blessing. So at least a few weeks and no more than two months, might slip out by that point.

I would hate for a guy to ask my dad. I'm an adult, and I haven't asked my parents' permission to do things in years and years. I think it's super demeaning, to the extent that I'd say no if I knew my guy asked my dad.

As far as proposals go, I'm not a big fan of the big splashy scene. I'm shy, and I hate to be stared out, so I'd hate to be proposed to on a Jumbo-tron at ballgame or at a party or whatever. Just somehting sweet, initmate and personal.

Good luck.

yes it is very old fashioned BUT very nice and very cute and very thoughtful and very respectful to seek approval! I LOVE the idea of a man asking the brides parents for their blessings! I believe that way everything is out in the open and everyone can we happy and supportive about the upcoming marriage!

= ]

Well my Hubby did speak to my Father when we planned to be married.. I will always love and remember what he said to us "Wisdom is doing today what you would do tommrow" Basically it was his way of saying he gave his blessing, I was only 17 and he was 21 so we acutally NEEDED it by law!!

Now we have 3 young daughters and I hope that when the day comes they have chosen a Man who has enough respect for them and us to seek our blessing. It would be wonderful to feel included in our daughters lives even as they grow up!

Best of luck,

I think that now-in-days most guys don't have the parent's blessing. If they love the girl, they ask.

My ex-husband did not have my parent's blessing,they knew him and liked him and all, but he didn't ask them.

I think now, you shouldn't have to ask the girl's parents if you wish to marry, because it isn't the parent's descion. It's the man and the woman's.