my boyfriend of 13 years is a deadbeat! what should I do?

Speaking as a reformed deadbeat. Dump the loser, you have given him enough chances to improve himself and he has spat them back in your face.

If you can't do it for yourself then do it for your children. The money that you would lose will be offset by the money you will save in the long term.

You are going to leave him and take your kids, because you are a good mother and you love your children to death, and you need to protect them from the insecurity this man will bring into your lives.

Sell your car. Get a man you trust to go with you (a Dad or uncle, or brother are good) and buy another car. It's a sad fact of life that us sheilas get ripped off by used car salesmen, but take a bloke, and if they get pushy, walk away. Get a much cheaper small car. Put any leftover money in a high interest bank account that you can access over the counter. This is your emergency money, and you will use it to get out of your situation if you have an EMERGENCY.

Why don't you just take his car? It's in your name. This would be another alternative. Say you are cutting costs, since he isn't working. Sell the other car, and keep the crappy one. If he's got no licence, he doesn't need a car, right?

Apply for the cheapest accomodation you can get. A caravan or 'trailer' would be ideal. It doesn't sound too flash, but it will help you get back on your feet. I've lived in caravans before, and I got my act together. Now I have a good partner and we're paying our own home off together.

You can do anything you want to do. You just have to really want it. And you can leave this man. He is just using you. What kind of an example is that to your kids? That women are there to be used?

Your kids will understand when they are older. Just get out of there. Make a plan. ORganise a place to live, and just move.

Are the bills in your name or his? Get them transferred either into his name, or have the services terminated when you leave. This will force him to have utilities reestablished in his name. And you won't get hit with any bills he runs up.

See if there is anything around the house you can sell in the mean time through the local newspaper classifieds. Some newspapers have free ads if for under $100 value items. Have a garage sale, or go with your kids and drop catalogues around your area. There are ads for catalogue delivery people in the newspaper classifieds, sometimes.

My Mum's first husband sounds a lot like your boyfriend. Leaving him was the best move she ever made. She left with two small kids after he took off. He'd spent years spending his pay packet on himself while she and the kids starved.

In the meantime, get all nonessential utilities cut, like landline and internet access. Save what you can and make a plan. If you need some advice, send me an email. Best wishes.

So you don't want to leave a deadbeat who makes you pay for all the bills,and rent, and totalled 3 cars,doesn't buy Christmas or birthday gifts for his little girls,and drinks because you'd have to get a cheaper car? You should leave him, if hes that much of a deadbeat, he's not even worth your time. It doesn't matter about your car, you can save up and buy yourself a nice one later on, just leave him,hes just another thing for you to have to worry about.

okay the first thing that comes to mind is to leave his cheap lazy good for nothing ***. if you're not leaving him because you're worried about what kind of car your driving then i'm sorry but you have no brains. who cares what kind of car you drive as long as it runs and gets you from point a to point b safely. its time for you to be a strong woman and its going to hurt like hell. but what kind of father doesnt remember his children at christmas or on their birthdays? did he remember you? honey honestly it sounds like he's taken you for a ride for the last 13 years. he has brought you down and down and down. Now you have to file bankruptcy because he's not a responsible man. i'm sure you want nothing but the best life for your girls and yourself, and quite frankly daddy isnt holding up his end of responsibilites. you have 2 choices:

1. stick around and give him an altimatem. however you have the chance that he may continue to bring you down. or he could get his crap together.

2. get out now and put yourslef back together. build the life you and your girls deserve. it will be hard as hell at first and you will be sad but in the end it will be worth it.

you've worked so hard to get him cars and jobs, and all he does is piss it away.

I wish you all the luck in the world. and as a woman you're stronger than you think. thats why we are women. if God didnt think we could handle the things we women go through we'd have a penis between our legs.

p.s. if he has no license why do you continue to buy him cars? i hope he doesnt drive drunk with your girls.

At some point you are going to have to ask yourself if you are willing to keep up this relationship. Is this man really giving you what you need and deserve? When you can honestly answer this question for yourself, you will be able to make the next step., which I hope will be something that honors who you are.

You shouldn't even have to thik about it. What kind of example do you think that is for your duaghters. You should leave him. At least for a little while. You'll see that once you and your girls are away he's sure to react. Thats what a real mother would do.

Just e-mail me and I'll give you plenty of ways to work from home and make lots of money.

why now?,,,,,,,you have had all these years.......over a car???

there are a lot more flaws in your relationship...........

start a new life.........good luck.........

dump him

dump him, you can do bad all by yourself....