You know you are too drunk when....?

you cant "rise" to the occasion.

When you wake up and found you have soiled yourself. I don't think a body can honestly say they have ever been too drunk unless they have had this experience at being drunk :)

You don´t know when you are too drunk, but your friends will tell you the morning after, that you have been too drunk, I hope.

you wake up floating in your back in the ocean holding your teddy, with a big cut down your leg( sharks are coming...), you are now trying to sing and dance with your teddy and you start to have a very detailed conversation with the shark approaching you. Before the shark eats you, you see the teddy frown at you and hop on the Impossible Elephant and fly away.

A guy you saw earlier seemed rather plain, but having had a few, he suddenly looks quite stunning!

when you wake up in the morning in the front yard with your pants around your ankles, you've seemed to have lost your underwear, you have food in your hair, you seemed to have cut yourself somehow, you have a set of fuzzy handcuffs on one hand, and your car is sitting on top of the mailbox.

When you come home late at night and you're going upstairs to your bedroom and someone steps on your fingers.

you go to drop the kids off at the pool and forget to undo the old slacks - lol

you are upside down in an elevator saying you don't play guitar with ur neck bro...u play it with your bum bum.

or you are chasing a goose in the park calling it a stallion duck.

No one understands what the hell u are saying. Scream and say I'm going 2 kick ur *** and beat yourself up.

ur in a taxi and u think the amont to pay is the time

its 24 past 99

-dane cook