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Why don't you want to get married? (for people who live together AS married)?
My partner and I have be happen together for 15 years and living together for 14 1/2 years. We'rey as we are. We are not religious and so don't feel the need to have a church wedding or anything. I know there are other types of weddings, but we just don't see the point. We know how we feel about each other and if other people don't understand that we love each other by now, tough! Yet still people think that it's wrong to live together unmarried. My mother said that those who are married "try harder" in their relationships. She doesn't get it that we don't have to "try hard" to be together - we're together purely through choice, not religious ties or the law. I think people who stay in a loveless relationship just because they are married are denying themselves and their spouse the chance of true happiness.
Why don't you want to get married? What do you say to people who think you should?
Polite post-script: I'm not asking for people to tell me why they think I should get married. We have made our decision and are happy with it. I'm asking other people who live together but are not married why they have chosen not to marry.
I've just noticed the text in my 1st two sentences is a bit 'all over the place'. It should say, 'My partner and I have been together for 15 years and living together for 14 1/2 years. We're happy as we are. Sorry if I confused anyone.
9 Answers
- Mean CarleenLv 71 decade agoFavorite Answer
You said something that I SO agree with..people on the same page dont have to try hard. I dont live with my dude but we're talking about it. We have no talks of marriage and dont care to. If it happens it does or it doesnt. We do not need marriage to define our relationship and we live by OUR rules...not societies. Good luck!
- 1 decade ago
Maybe people get married because of kids and the stigma that would be attached with being, by society's standards, a bastard. I totally see your point though, as I too have been in a relationship for 15 years, only I have been married. Since my husband cheated, I have stuck it out but it has not been true happiness. You are correct. If I had it to do over again, I would have never married him (but hindsight is 20/20). Then again, would I have had my 4 kids? I don't know.... I say bravo to you for seeking true happiness and not letting society dictate what is right for your personal self. I wish I would have been more open minded back then as I am now.
- 1 decade ago
Alright..I have done both. I have been with him 13 years before I married him and now we have been together for 18 years. I think that living with someone for about five years before getting married should be a must. No child making during this time please. When I did get married to this guy that realization of commitment changes you. Religious or not, it's something you feel at the time between the two of you. I look at my husband and just know where he is, is home. I like who I am around him. He makes me be a better person. I have this from marriage not from when we "shacked-up". Relationships are not perfect, changes will happen but are you a team (for real) or are you in it thinking nothing will change and it will be like this forever ( not for real). I wish you luck in anything you feel your need is.
Source(s): Living life.. - patty kLv 61 decade ago
I am divorced. I may never marry again.If I had done what I wanted to the first time around(family objected) and lived with my husband before marriage then I might not have married him. I was married for 22 yrs raised 2 great kids and had it all. All but happiness. I now live in "sin" as my family says with a wonderful man. I have no desire to marry,sure we have talked about it but like you we feel why. Been there done that. We are not planning on having any children so whats a paper going to give me that I don't already have? I know many will disagree..oh well. I am the one that has to answer for my sins.
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- I am what I amLv 41 decade ago
You can tell them, you don't care about making any final decision on one anothers life is heaven forbid something happens to either one of you. You can tell them, one or both of you don't need the others health insurance.
Marriage helps protect you in legal matters concerning each other IE property, custody, emergency decisions...etc.
Love is the main reason most people (should) marry for, but not the only reason. And if those things aren't in question, like you said you just don't see the point.
- 1 decade ago
In some states, if you have been living together that long, you may indeed be married. Common law marriage. Anyway, what is the problem with papers saying it's official? It's better for you guys financially, and when it comes to taxes and insurance (if nothing else).
- LDJLv 51 decade ago
You are married you just don't have the paper. In Gods eye the day you layed down together you were man and wife. Just keep on loving each other.
- redpeach_miLv 71 decade ago
i am getting divorced right now and i think that you are right. i will never get married again. if anything, i could probably have a long standing relationship, but will never marry again.
- 1 decade ago
i dont think marriage is for everyone, i think if you and your partner are happy with they way things are then thats all that matters, marriage would only jinx your relationship.....
