Step Mom of Bipolar child needs help. Anyone have coping ideas for the parents?

Wow.. what a rough time you must be having! My son is nearly 14, and while has never been diagnosed with bi-polarism, he is ADHD, diagnosed with anti-social disorder, oppositional defiance disorder, and has anxiety issues. I also pulled him out of school, as he was a constant behavior problem and spent most of his time in what they called 'in-school-suspension' for doing disruptive things in class (such as barking instread of saying 'here' when roll was called). Homeschooling him is really quite difficult, and there are many times I have wondered if I don't need meds myself to stay sane and reduce my stress and anxiety in dealing with him!

I can't imagine having another special-needs child in addition to him! My best advice, being as you can't attend local support groups, is to find an online support group or forum. There are many out there, and even Yahoo has groups for parents of children with these specific disorders, just to get you started. Remember to take time for yourself as well-- probably the most important aspect of retaining your sanity. Is there family or friends who can keep an eye on them for an hour or two each week-- just so you can have a little bit of 'me time'? Even if it's just to lock the bathroom door, have a good cry and a long hot soak in the tub with a good book-- with out being interrupted? With your duaghter being 13-- it is likely to only get worse--- teenaged girls and all of the wonderful hormones and emotional diffculties we go through at that age....whee!

I really urge you to find an online support group-- sometimes just knowing you aren't the only one, hearing other people's stories, and learning about their coping mechanisms can really help. It is difficult to explain to others who aren't in your shoes the difficulties in your day-to day life. God Bless, and feel free to e-mail should you like help searching out online suppot groups, or just need to rant and rave.

You don't shy away from challenges, do you! Well, as you already know, patience and lots and lots of affection are critical with any 13-year-old, and the bipolar problem (not to mention the step-parent situation) makes it an order of magnitude worse. I have seen lithium recommended as a stabilizer, but I'm sure your doc already knows that. The only thing I can really recommend for you is to try to use music as a tool. Music can be cheerful or downbeat as the need arises; it can also be a signal of mood (useful for any parent of a teenager..). For you, someone to talk to is the key; doesn't have to be someone who shares your situation, just a friendly voice and ear. Talk about anything; it's the talking that helps us all. And for your daughter, mood swings are scary for any teen; how much worse this has to be. All you can do is hang in there with her and be as constant and stable and loving as possible. I would guess the same with your boy, although I have very little experience with autistic kids. Hang in there - it may sometimes seem like forever, but it's constantly changing, and probably getting better gradually enough so it's hard to notice.

My youngest sister is 13 years younger and handicapped. She has grown up to be as responsible as she can given her limitations. I'm very proud of her. When she was little, my StepMom worked from 3-12 six days a week. This meant that my siblings and I were responsible for her most of the time. It was trying, but looking back on those years, it was so rewarding. However, as a result, I did not decide to have children until I was in my 30s. I do think I could handle the stress that would come from having a child with special needs now. Probably not in my twenties.

i'm 17 and a year ago i was diagnosed as bipolar.....although, i started showing symptoms of it my freshman year. i do not feel as if i do not have a disease, i am not sick, nor is anyone else with BPD. you don't need to pull her out of school and home school her, in fact, that only makes it worse because she is so young and this will make her pretty much not have any friends to fall back on. i know it's hard on my family, my friends, and my girlfriend when i start getting really mad or sad. i have ADHD too, so that just doubles my anger and hyperness basically. but honestly, it's a lot harder for the person who has this disorder. so plese, don't act as if it is harder for ya....no i'm not trying to start anything and be a jerk. i'm just saying. my dad, like your step daughter's father, travels a lot for his job. sometimes he goes away for a week, maybe two or three then comes home from friday to monday...then leaves again, sometimes he stays home for two weeks but that only happens a few times every three or so months....so that kindda gets me depressed too. just relax, you can't start getting stressed out about her because it's not you that has this problem...it's her. it's not the end of the world for parents, she will learn to control herself. you should put her in a private school, maybe even back to her school she has gone too. i seriously think it'll only make her depression worse if she is homeschooled. look into getting her "teen source multivitamins" and "bayer nutritional science"...the bayer medication has omega 3 supplements in it. omega 3 helps to reduce depression and irritibility....make her eat some fish from time to time. you don't need to take her to a group, not everyone needs to go to therapy and what not. just let her be a regular teen, you don't need to treat her differently because she is bipolar. once she is stabilized with her meds, she will act normal again. also it is important that she is not taking antidepressants. antidepressants make bipolar disorder worse. hope this helps.

ok i am not a parent but i am bipolar. its less of a problem than you think. ok where is her mom?? thee thing with bipolar is the smallest things will trigger a mood swing. use this to your advantage. what does she cry about? im 20 now so i can deal with it better, but when i was her age it was bad. the best thing you can do is be there. if shes crying MAKE her hug you. force her to know you love her and you are there. my thing was that my parents were divorced and i felt like i was all alone. let her know you are there. the more loved she feels the better it will be. try to keep her busy. dont let her get "stuck in her head". keep her occupied. i know thats hard but just try it. my mom would do this and it helped me alot. just always remember whatever you think shes feeling in her head it 100 times worse. let her know its not that bad. meds will help til she can learn to control it. my mom took me to a therapist and it helped. i hope this helps you. remember when all else fails, look up and ask god.

Your G.P seems to be letting you down.

He should be your first point of contact when the cycles begin , it could be controlled by meds. He needs to get you the help you need.

Be a pest , torture him till he does things you want. He can re-fare , he can get help with the education stuff. He can recommend you to consultants. He has the assets you need.

He needs to get his finger out.

If you don't scream hard enough , he will ignore you.

In a small village of 800 people , your the one person he needs to be keeping an eye on.

Hi have you tried some bipolar self help groups there are many out there and I'm sure that you will find one close to where you live.

the one thing that you must remember is that you are not alone, there is plenty of help out there should you wish to seek it.

your local doctor should have an address of a bipolar self help group near you.

hope this helps

I understand how you feel. My daughter, who is now 28, was dually diagnosed with Bipolar and Borderline personality. There is hope...if you are interested in support...e-mail me, I can do that for you. I am a Biblical Counselor and Coach...the Biblical Worldview can really help you deal with your own emotions and your ability to cope with her illness. Also, it will help you with what is illness and what can be controlled.

take a vacation and get some sun...just try be happy i don't understand bipolar but i think that getting away from home would be good for awhile

Perhaps you could find some sort of online support group?

If you look hard enough you may find one that suits you.