What more can I do to get over him?

Question

It's been almost 10 months since my last boyfriend broke up with me. We went out for 4 years. Last night I found out through a mutual friend that he recently started seeing someone new. I'm devastated and I don't know what to do. I've gone out with friends, kept busy, picked up new hobbies, talked to friends, even started a journal. I was getting better, I thought that when this happened it wouldn't hurt me. But, it has. It's like we've broken up all over again. We have had no communication between each other for 3 months. We had tried to do the whole friends thing but it didn't work out. I feel like just when I start to feel a little better, just when I think I'm finally starting to get over him I get kicked back down again. Is there anything more that I can do? No matter how busy I am my mind still gravitates towards him, especially when I'm just about to go to sleep. I'm 22 and he was my first love. What more can I do to get over him?

jthomas086121 · Accepted Answer

Damn, my heart goes out to you.  A lot of times what helps me when I am grieving is volunteering my time to those less fortunate.  It is in times when we are helping the poor, abused, or disabled that we realize how small our troubles are.  And I don't say this to marginalize your pain, but I truly believe if you take your pain and use it as a tool to help those also suffering, you will be able to move on.

Anonymous · Answer

Most people cannot be friends right after a break up. They say its best to wait a year before even trying to be friends, and that means no communication - no emails, phone calls, etc. Anyway, there is not much more you can do to get over him. Time will heel you and that's all you can really do. You can't help how you feel. I know you will start to get over him. You may never forget him, but you'll get over him. I bet when you start dating, it will be easier for you once you get out in the dating world again and start getting some male attention.  Please just be open to meeting new men and dating though. Its your time to move on and be happy now.

Anonymous · Answer

Well i'm sure you've allready done this but what the hell. What really helped me was doing the opposite to being busy. I spent weeks and weeks just staying home, crying all day, watching sad films and break-up/sad songs. Being busy wouldn't of helped me at all.

Of cpurse seeing him with someone else is gonna be hard, but inevitable. I guess you've just gott give it more time. 4 years was a hell of a long time to be with someone, expect it to take a while. But you will get over this. I guess the thing that got me through was thinking ow much stronger i am now because of it.

Arod · Answer

well itz good that u 22 because u can go out and have some real fun thats all u need first love always takes years to forget and start dating around and you'll notice theres alot of good guys out there like me :) lol buty really just dont force it but have tons of fun your 22

Christina L · Answer

see him in a negative manner..look at all his flaws ....suddenly he wont seem so perfect again

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What more can I do to get over him?

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