I really need help with this question, my daughter is 14 and has told me that she is a lesbian?

The very best thing that you can do for her is listen to her and except her the way she is. I was around 12 when i realized that I liked girls too. She may just be bi, but even if she truly is a lesbian it shouldn't matter to you because your her mother. It says alot about your relationship with one another that she was able to come to you and tell you. Don't ruin that. As long as she is happy that should be your first concern. Take a little time to take it all in and calmy talk to her and tell that while you maynot like her choice you love her and you will support her no matter what she decides to do. There are support groups out there if you have a problem dealing with this. Just don't push her away because of your fear or opinion on the lifestyle she has chosen. The truth is she will probably get enough crap from other people around her and she is going to need you to be there and be understanding of her. Best of luck to both of you.

Remeber she is your daughter!

that is the main thing and realise you love her just as much as you did before she told you and make sure she knows this aswell.

Talk to her, let her know that you are trying to understand it, be open with her but support her. If it is a phase it is a phase and it will pass supporting that will not change that fact. But NO DONT sit back and hope it is just a phase that will stop you from being able to deal with the issue if she is not just going through a phase.

Dont shut her out, be the same with her as you always have been - im sure she has not changed.

Let her know she can talk to you.

Speak to other parents, look on the internet for a support group in your local area talk to other mothers of gay children in your area.

Do not make her feel like she is any less of a person or a disgrace.

the biggest thing for you aswell is to forget the stereotypes. this dose not mean she is destine to shave her head and ride a harley or never wear bras, or not give you grandkids! many lesbians still want the same things in life as straight females, the only difference is who they are sexually attracted to.

Be her mother not an enemy about this. And congrats to your daughter for having the guts to tell you.

Remeber you havent dont anything wrong, because there is nothing wrong, you have obviously done a fairly decent job of raising your daughter and have a good realtionship as she has told you about her sexuality which is one of the hardest things she will ever have to do in her life.

Good luck, she is still your little girl

Your reaching out for info is a good sign. It shows you are willing to grow with new information. I have high hopes that you and your daughter will be able to weather this situation.

As far as your question about whether this is a phase... it probably is not "just a phase", although she is young. I personally highly doubt that she is straight, she probably IS gay or bi. That's what she thinks she is right now, She has strong enough feelings for girls that she actually came to you with this information. You should at least feel good that she felt that she was able to tell you this. Many gay kids never tell their parents, some wait until they're parents are on their death bed and others never come out. She feels that she can communicate with you. This sounds very healthy. Could she be ultimately straight? Well, I guess it's possible, but I wouldn't count on it. If you want to talk to parents of gay and bisexual children you should seek out PFLAG, Parents Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays.

Be glad that your daughter felt comfortable enough to talk to you in the first place. At 14 you don't need to embrace it or be scared by it. Let her know that you are there for her no matter what she is. She has plenty of time to figure out who she is. If you fight her on this you could lose her forever and/or lose the communication that you two obviously have. Being gay or straight does not change the fact that she is your child. She is the same girl she was before she came out to you. You are the one that is perceiving her differently. Think of all the things you thought you were at 14. Some of them probably ended up being true and some didn't. Remember that this is not about you. This is about her. I can't stress enough that you supporting her and letting her know that you are always there for her no matter what is the best thing to do.

First and foremost, remember she is your daughter, she always will be no matter what.

I would understand your reaction (in a way) but I would suggest telling her you still love her no matter what and will respect her life choice, whateve that may be. It may be a phase, maybe, but if it's not, I suggest you talk to her about it and how she feels exactly on the whole thing, what she thinks of, etc. Also, your daugther told you (at such a young age, no less) what she felt and was being completely honest with you. It means she loves you and wants you to acknowledge that part of her which she is feeling.

There really is not specific way to go through it, but honesty and communication is the best thing to do, and know that she is still your daughter no matter what.

U should respect your daughter she is very brave. I am the same age and I cant tell my Mom and I plan on never telling her. It might be a phase but it might be serious. You should love daughter for who she is. You should ask her questions and be supportive! Dont freak out their are a lot of different people in the world but everyone is a person. Their is no reason to be upset.

It could be a phase. Especially since she says that she "thinks" she is a lesbian. But then again, she may be testing the waters with you to see what kind of reaction she gets with being "unsure." I would be supportive and ask questions about it at the same time, like why she thinks she is a lesbian, is it just one other girl inparticular (like maybe her friend) or is it alot of girls that she is attracted to... etc. but that is a fine line talk to have because she may feel that you are trying to talk her out of it or attack her. On top of it all, stay supportive before anything else.

why does this upset you?

and why do you hope it's a phase?

i don't see how knowing her sexual orientation should worry you!

she is who she is, lesbian or not!

you should be glad she feels strong enough to let herself out of the closet and actually tell you!

for many ppl struggle their whole lives to do this and just keep it locked up inside them! which is terrible and you shouldn't expect ur daughter to live like this just to keep u happy!

just be acceptive, there's nothing wrong with being lesbian/gay anyways!

and what do you mean by 'how to handle this situation'

it's no situation, ask yourself this, would you be acting this way if she told you she was straight?

if the answer is no, then you seriously have to think things through!

plus you really need to suppoort your daughter at this age!!

life is extremely tough as a teen, even though everyone tries to tell 'em its the best yerars of your life! they are infact probably the hardest! her body is going through changes, her life is probably becoming more messed up and confusing by the day and everything is getting harder! even if she doesn't let on!

she's trying to work out who she is! and i encourage you to support her through this! to make it easier for the both of you!!!

you may understand more about why she is this way if you just sit down and listen to her, even ask questions! show that you care! don't just be completely freaked out and worried about her just because she has stated she is lesbian!!!!!

there is absolutely nothing wrong with it! and if it is how she is then all the power in the world to her!!

btw no age is to young to know your sexuality incase ur wondering bout that too!

just go with the flow, let her discover who she is herself and never object! if you are not happy about the way she is, then you will just have to learn to accept it! let her live her own life and be independent!

try looking at things from her point of view!!!

i hope everything works out for the better!!

( - ;

I had a friend who just went through this except her mom told her that if she didn't break up with her girlfriend than she needed to leave her house.

I'm not a parent and I'm not really a lesbian either, but if I were you I would be supporting. Being attracted to the same sex is common but is still GREATLY discriminated against.

Think of the consequences of not accepting her...

Anyway's I think it is most likely a phase. Support her and wait it out.

Only your daughter knows if it is a phase or not. Just be patient with her & do your best to let her know that you are there for her. You are her mother. You gave birth to her she didn't ask to be born & only to a certain age can you decide who she is around or how she is. It is time for you to realize that it can't be the way you always want it. She needs to be herself & if this is who she is then you need to take (what you feel is the bad) with (what you feel is the good) . When you chose to have her, you chose to LOVE her no matter what. JUST REMEMBER THAT GOD LOVES EVERYONE & THERE ARE A LOT WORSE PEOPLE OUT THERE THAN GAY PEOPLE. SO IF HE LOVES WORSE PEOPLE THEN YOU SHOULD HAVE NO PROBLEM SHOWING LOVE & STRENGTH FOR YOUR DAUGHTER.