Did your school teach you all this? The funny things kids say...?

Below are some of the gems collected by schoolteachers across the country. Here are some hilarious language mistakes made by children in school.

-Name the four seasons.

A - Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.

Q -Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.

A - Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants

Q-What does "varicose" mean?

A - Nearby.

Q-What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on?

A - If you are buying a house, they will insist that you are well endowed.

Q-What happens to your body as you age?

A - When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.

Q-What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?

A - He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.

Q-What is the fibula?

A - A small lie.

Q-Give the meaning of the term "caesarian section."

A - The caesarian section is a district in Rome.

Q-What is a terminal illness?

A - When you are sick at the airport.

Q-What does the word "benign" mean?

A - Benign is what you will be after you be eight.

A Virginia teacher presented each child in her class with the first half of a well-known proverb, a different adage to each child, asking that they complete the adage at home. The following were among the replies she received. No, Mel Brooks didn't help these kids with their homework.

• Don't change horses . . . until they stop running.

• Strike while the . . . bug is close.

• It's always darkest before . . . Daylight Saving Time.

• Never underestimate . . . the power of termites.

• You can lead a horse to water but . . . How?

• Don't bite the hand that . . . looks dirty.

• No news Is . . . impossible

• A miss is as good as a . . . Mr.

• You cannot teach an old dog new . . . math.

• If you lie down with dogs . . . you will stink in the morning.

• Love all, trust . . . me.

• The pen is mightier than the . . . pigs.

• An idle mind is . . . the best way to relax.

• Where there's smoke there's . . . pollution.

• Happy is the bride who . . . gets all the presents.

• A penny saved is . . . not much.

• Two's company, three's . . . the Musketeers.

• Don't put off till tomorrow what . . . you put on to go to bed.

• Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and . . . you have to blow your nose.

• There are none so blind as . . . Stevie Wonder.

• Children should be seen and not . . . spanked or grounded.

• If at first you don't succeed . . . get new batteries.

• You get out of something only what you . . . see in the picture on the box

• When the blind lead the blind . . . get out of the way.

• Better late than . . . Pregnant

The Sciences

*"Water is composed of two gins, Oxygin and Hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin. Hydrogin is gin and water."

*When you breathe, you inspire. When you do not breathe, you expire."

*"H20 is hot water, and CO2 is cold water."

*"The body consists of three parts—the brainium, the borax and the abominable cavity. *he brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abominable cavity contains the bowels, of which there are five: a, e, i, o and u."

*"The pistol of a flower is its only protection against insects."

*"The alimentary canal is located in the northern part of Indiana."

*"Equator: A menagerie lion running around the Earth through Africa."

*"Germinate: To become a naturalized German."

*A myth is a female moth.

Sorry if it was a bit long.. Star if you found them funny ^ ^