mum doesnt like bf, bf doesnt like mum?

Firstly, there's a percentage of your mothers' advice (for/against) your boyfriend that she gives Purely as she's concerned that you are going out with the right man.

You really should try to develop some common ground between Mum and Boyfriend, otherwise the disagreements will become worse, possibly leading you to choosing boyfriend over Mum -and honestly, you Don't want to reject your Mother!

Once your Mother gets to know your Boyfriend, a bit, she will become more confident with the sort of person he is, and the controlling behaviour will ease off considerably.

How about inviting your Boyfriend to Tea/Dinner, at a date/time that is convenient to all concerned!

If you were to do this a few times, the barriers will start to dissolve and everyone will be more at ease.

However, after a few of these "Home" dates, there is still a lot of hostility, then your Mother may be seeing a side to your man that you are unable to... the old saying "Love Is Blind" comes to mind.

Remember: Once you burn your relationship bridges with your Mother, it will be a long time before you are at ease again.

Respect has to be earned by both your Boyfriend and Mother (for each other) -but if this doesn't happen, you could be in for much heartbreak in the future.

Ok, was just about to say something like "Under your mother's roof you should do as she says" but then I read that you're 21!

She is very controlling, maybe she's worried that you'll go off with this boy and neglect her or maybe she has a reason that she's not telling you.

At 21 make your own decision and do what's right for you, but don't be blinded by love either.

That's life I'm afraid.

She moans about him disrespecting the family but thinks nothing of disrespecting him by slagging him off.

Put that to her and let her think about it for a while.

So what if he hasn't got he best paid job in the world - he works, looks after you and cares for you - that's the most important thing.

Your mum needs to accept that and let you make your own decisions on who you see or don't see.

She is trying to control your life by blackmail and a self absorbed, self important attitude

ok darling first thing's first...

your mom is your mom her disliking your boyfriend is really not that bad. she only wants what's best for you.

you're saying your boyfriend treats you really well and everything about him is great except the fact he doesn't like your mom? i would NEVER let a guy i was dating ever disrespect my mom! i don't give a **** what my mom has said or done, it is never your boyfriend's business to say a single thing about your mother or how she has raised you. if you're 21 and your mom is still telling you what to do and you're still disobeying her and you're still rebelling then there is definitely something wrong with you and you need to grow up! maybe if you were mature enough your mom wouldn't have to worry about who you're dating or what you're doing... and as that may also be your mom's fault, your bf still does not have the right to disrespect your mom and tell you to disrespect her. this relationship can only get worse and it WILL mess up your relationship with your family.

he sounds manipulative and that's bad news and i would get rid of him if i were you.

Tell them both to grow up and start respecting YOU first and foremost, and remind them both that you are a 21 year old young woman with a mind of her own who will do exactly as you see fit with your life, including ditching the pair of them out of it if they keep giving you grief.

You have to do what makes you happy, tell them that they are both being unfair on you, sit them down with each other and talk it out. You have to put things right or else you are eventually going to loose out with your mum or the man who could be the one.

Hope this helps

If you don't like your mother trying to run your life, move out. You're 21 years old. What are you waiting for...? Let your boyfriend support you, oh wait, he treats you well. There ya go! You two can live in the park because after all, he treats you well.

get over it, your mum will never like your boyfriends and they will never like your mum

He is being disrespectful by not coming in the house, who does he think he is?!?

Tell your mum to mind her own business, and get over it, she doesnt have to go out with him.

And maybe find a guy who isnt a builder or a plumber... thats what he is, isnt he?!

I hope my daughter only goes out with Doctors and Lawyers too...

They will both need to agree to disagree with you and keep their comments to themselves. Your mum has said she does not like him, well ok, thats too bad and vice versa with the boyfriend.

try to not worry about what your mum thinks i know its hard but at the end of the day your the one going out with him not your mum, and if you really like him then it shouldnt matter what she thinks.

tell him and her how you feel and ask her to try and undertsand your point of view.

and its the same with me my mum doesnt like me going out atal with my boyfriend but i spoke to her about it and sooner or later your mum will get used to it.

hope it goes well

xxxxx