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CMG
CMG asked in Entertainment & MusicCelebrities · 1 decade ago

It’s certainly worth to read.?

How often do you get a call and hear a lilting voice say, “Hi! I am Pooja calling from XYZ bank. Sir, we are offering free platinum credit card to our customers. Are you interested?” (uttered in a single breath) And you think, “Oh no, not again!” You politely (or rudely) reply, “Sorry, I am not interested.” And the conversation ends there. But imagine a reply that frustrates the caller with your witty response. I have some cool ideas for making these unsolicited calls a pleasant experience. My friends and I have applied these ideas and we have derived immense pleasure from such pranks. We have frustrated them more than the other way round.

Update:

First caller:

Girl: Hello Sir, this is Pooja calling from Country Club.

Me: Hi Pooja!

Girl: Sir, we are offering life time Country Club membership for Rs.1.5 lakh only!

Me: Wow, what an offer! Only 1.5 lakh! How come so cheap?

Girl: Sir, I am not joking (with a chuckle).

Me: Neither me. You know, one of my friends already has Club Mahindra membership at Rs.1.5 lakh per year. Do you have any concession on group booking? I think we have around 8 people in my team.

Girl: Sir, along with this, you will get 2 air tickets to Goa absolutely free!

Me: Free? I mean after becoming a member, isn’t it?

Girl: We are also offering 8/6 site in Tumkur.

Me: What should I do with that site?

Girl: You know Sir, if you have more people in your group, you can have a farm house there …

Me: … where we can enjoy our retired life (continuing from where she left)

Girl: I am not joking, Sir!

Me: Who said that you are joking? Seriously Madam, I am serious. (can’t control my loud laug

Update 2:

ter this time)

Girl: Ok Sir, I think you are not interested.

And she hangs up.

Update 3:

Second caller:

Girl: Hi Sir, this is Pooja calling from ICICI Bank.

Me: Oh, Pooja, nice to hear your voice!

Girl: (amused by reaction) Sir, we are offering home loans for 12% interest.

Me: Oh, is that so? It’s good, but I have an offer from another bank which is giving home loan for only 2% interest!

Girl: Only 2% interest?

Me: Yeah, it’s only 2%, seriously.

Girl: Which bank, Sir? I do not think any bank is offering at this interest rate.

Me: (lowering my voice) I can’t tell you, you know it’s a private bank!

Girl: No Sir, it’s not possible. If that’s the case, then, I’m also interested.

Me: If you want to know the name of the bank, give your mobile number or e-mail ID as I cannot disclose this information over phone. I am bound not to disclose the details.

Girl: Okay.

She disconnects the call.

Update 4:

Third caller:

Girl: Hello Sir, I am Pooja calling from …

Me: (interrupting her) Hang on for a moment ... (taking my time) ...Okay let’s play “Kaun Banega Crorepati”* with... sorry, I forgot your name?

Girl: Sorry …

Me: What’s your name, Madam? Am I speaking in an alien language?

Girl: Pooja

Me: Audience, we have Pooja on our hot seat. Let’s play “Kaun Banega Crorepati” with Pooja. (of course, mimicking Big B’s accent)

Here is the first question to Pooja for 1,000 rupees on your computer screen. (adding standard KBC music)

Which bank you are calling from? a) ICICI (b) HDFC (c) Deutsche (d) Others

Girl: Funny (light laugh)...Okay, I am calling from HDFC.

Me: Computer, please lock (b) HDFC …And yes (b) HDFC is the right answer. You have won 1,000 rupees!

Update 5:

Girl: Sir, are you interested in ... (again interruption by me)

Me: (my own voice) Aren’t you enjoying it? I think YES (switching back to Big B voice again) Ready for another question? And here goes the second question for 2,000 rupees on your computer screen. What is the reason behind your call to me?

(a) Credit/debit card (b) Home loan/personal loan (c) Mutual fund (d) Others

Girl: Okay, it’s enough. Are you interested in free Gold Credit Card offered by us?

Me: Oh no, wrong answer. Sorry Poojaji, I already have credit card from ICICI. I have been telling the participants that whenever you have doubt in mind, go for the life lines. And you have not used any of your life lines. What a pity!

She hangs up. (as expected)

If you are already following my examples, then you are welcome to share your experiences and ideas. Otherwise try it once – it’s certainly worth a try.

Update 6:

lollllllllllllll

even these aswer are more funny than what i posted...

Update 7:

Dear ,

Pet My Lampshade

better to mail me instead of calling..

30 Answers

Relevance
  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    I got about two paragraphs into this and thought:

    "Wow, this is so NOT worth reading, I'm gonna stop now."

  • The Ranger
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago

    Very Nice Conversations. I maybe trying it out if a chance arises.

    Here is another conversation:

    Pooja: Hello, Sir I am calling from Sahara Real Estate.

    Me: Hi, How are you?

    Pooja: Fine Sir, Are you interested in our new venture at Andheri at very low rates?

    Me: Why are you talking so fast? Come on tell me again, this time slowly

    Pooja: [she repeats everything]

    Me: Pooja, Don't be tensed, feel free, be cool

    Pooja: [She mumbles something.[

    Me: Pooja I think you need to join Meditation classes.

    Pooja: Sir, It is not a joke...

    Me: Don't get angry so soon, breathe slowly, come on do it now, breathe slowly, count 10 to inhale and count 5 to exhale

    Pooja: Disconnects the call!!!!

    :-)

  • Anonymous
    5 years ago

    The Bible is indeed worth reading, but you need a spiritual connection between you and God to properly grasp what you read. Scripture is spiritually discerned. There's something truly astounding about looking at text that previously didn't make sense and seeing, really seeing what is written.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    A very very nice solution on the ****** callers.

    I had got bored of all this offers and was thinking the same to them as like them.

    Also i had done once.

    I don't remember her name.

    Girl: Sir, I am .......... from ICICI bank

    Me: Hi ..........

    Girl: I offer you loan on 13.50% interest.

    Me: OK

    Girl: Are you interested sir?

    Me: I study in 12th standerd

    Girl: Sorry sir.

    I replyied that even though i am not in 12th.

    Your reply to them were funny i liked them.

  • How do you think about the answers? You can sign in to vote the answer.
  • get !t ??
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago

    "SUPERB".You got 2 have big, good brains 4 all these answers and pranks.What baffles me is a studious boy(nerd)

    playing such pranks..Good ...you are on the right track....keep going.

    It was sure worth reading.

    ThankS:) 4 making me smile.

    But I wonder whether u 've posted it in right section or not!!

    anyways you have a good sense of humour.(4 sure)

    Source(s): get !t??
  • senn
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago

    I have just one asnwer to this

    S

    I

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    '

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    A

    T

    .....tht was an interesting question....and very good idea....!!!

    Fine guys....what if its copied and pasted from somewhere .....atleast you got the information...may be u dont realize but i know how tacky its to manage such calls...its ok..thnks CM!

  • GodLuvsU:))
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago

    wow!! ye sab to Superhit ideas hain!! now instead of running away from these phone calls, i will be waiting for them.. LOL!!

    earlier, i used to tell them, that i'm not interested.. but then i realised.. that they sit only to make phone calls.. and to make hundred more calls to us wont hurt them!

    now i reply like this.. "oh! Pooja.. yaar, kitne dino baad phone kiya tune.. kaisi hai?? Pata hai tu mujhe kitna miss karti hai.. isiliye phone kiya.. aur.. accha ab apna no. dede.. me phone kar liya karoongi.. baithke gappe maarenge.."

    on hearing this.. she kept the phone immediately n never called back (thank goodness!)

    :))

  • annie
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago

    got a bit bored reading such a lengthy conversation.......by the way who has that much time to waste,talking soooo much....."NOT INTERESTED"is a better option...than going on a ride with POOJA..............

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    I read the first couple of 'suggestions' but I didn't read all of them. The ones I read ARE funny though! I think they'd probably realise you were taking the micky out of them and hang up you, rather than vice versa.

  • ?
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago

    Kidhar see copy paste kiya hai yee saab??

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Hmmmm.....Kahaan se copy paste kara tha CM Gogo?

    Source(s): And my dear friend senn, the easiest way to handle such calls is to terminate the conversation as soon as you get that idea of the call being from some firm or agency. Why waste that person's and your time as well? And well said annie!
  • Show more answers (19)
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