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Is it possible for someone to someone to correct grammatical mistakes he/she has been making for years?
The guy I'm seeing is intelligent, thoughtful, and well-read. Unfortunately, he speaks with a bit of a drawl, mispronounces certain words, and makes simple grammatical errors on a regular basis. Although I can live with the drawl, I find some of the grammatical errors annoying and embarrassing, especially when we socialize with others.
The errors he makes the most frequently include the following types: (1) saying "you was walkin" rather than "you were walking," (2) saying "I haven't ate yet" instead of "I haven't eaten yet," and (3) adding unnecessary prepositions, as in "Come 'ere so I can kiss on you" or "touch on you," etc...
If I bring a mistake to his attention, he corrects himself immediately. However, he understandably resents my doing so. Is there any chance that he might eventually learn to correct his worst grammatical habits, or should I just accept that his speech will never reflect his inner intelligence?
2 Answers
- 1 decade agoFavorite Answer
Accept it or move on. Sorry.
Speaking from experience, don't expect or hope he will change. He is who he is and his speech habits are very difficult to correct, especially if you're the one bringing it to his attention. If he voluntarily asks for help, then there's hope.
I know because I used to tutor ESL immigrants. They are eager to speak properly and are therefore easier to teach, even if they have developed bad habits over several years.
However, I've also dated a man who had speech peculiarities I found charming... at first. It wasn't until later that I discovered how much poor speech embarrassed me. I knew he was smart. Everyone knew he was smart. Yet everyone seemed to have the same question, "Why was an obviously intelligent man speaking like an idiot - doesn't he know better? And what is she doing with him?"
The novelty wore off and I became increasingly annoyed at the amount of effort I had to put forth to either ignore his speech or understand it.
Unfortunately, it sounds like your man isn't looking to change his ways. He knows his grammar is incorrect, but that doesn't seem to matter much. Best bet is to try to accept him for who he is. I hope you fair better than I did.
Good luck! :)
- 1 decade ago
I think everyone has their own... could you call it a dialect (?), their own version of the English language. He has been talking the way he has for as long as he would speak. Yes, he will correct himself when it's brought to his attention, but no, I don't believe it's possible for him to change the way he speaks. He would have to WANT to, and he'd make an effort. I think with no desire to change, he won't. Does he think he's speaking improperly?
I work with someone who speaks the same way, and she's very intellegent too... and it drives me crazy sometimes, but I'm sure I do things that drive her crazy too. :-)
