ok now i am back do you want more of these or shall i stick to the clean ones?

This guy wants to be a proctologist, and he wants to be a really good proctologist,

so he decides to go down to the morgue after class and practice a little.

Well, he uncovers the first guy and there is a cork in his butt! He thinks it's a little strange, so he pulls it and music starts playing "...On the road again, just can't wait to get on the road again..."

The guy really freaks out! He runs and gets the M.A. and drags the poor guy back to the table. "Look!" he says, and pulls the cork out again, "...On the road again... " The M.A. is totally unimpressed..."So what?" he says. "Isn't that the most amazing thing you've ever seen?",

the guy asked. "Are you kidding?" says the M.A.. "Any a*shole can sing country music!"

A preacher wanted to earn money for the building expansion program of his church. He had heard there was big money in horse racing, so he decided to purchase a horse and enter him in the races. However, at the local auction the going price for horses was too steep and the preacher ended up buying a donkey. The preacher figured he had the donkey, he might as well enter it in the race.

The next day the donkey came in third. The racing form's headline the following day read, "Preacher's *** Shows."

The preacher was so pleased with his donkey that he entered him the next day also. The donkey won. The newspaper's headline read, "Preachers *** Out in Front."

The bishop was so upset with this type of publicity that he ordered the preacher not to enter the donkey in the races anymore. Then, the headlines read, "Bishop Scratches Preacher's ***." This was too much for the bishop, and he ordered the preacher to get rid of the donkey.

The preacher decided to give the animal to a nearby convent. Next day's headlines read, "Nuns Have Best *** in Town." The bishop fainted! He informed the nuns to get rid of the animal.

So they sold it to a farmer for $10.00. Next day the paper read, "Nun Peddles *** for Ten Bucks."

They buried the bishop the next day. The paper read, "Too Much *** Responsible for Bishop's Death."