okay this series of jokes drove me nuts!! what abt u? plz can u rate them?

Two women were playing golf. One teed off and watched in horror as

her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next

hole. The ball hit one of the men. He immediately clasped his hands

together at his groin, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll

around in agony.

The woman rushed down to the man, and immediately began to apologize.

'Please allow me to help. I'm a Physical Therapist and I know I could

relieve your pain if you'd allow me,' she told him.

'Oh, no, I'll be all right. I'll be fine in a few minutes,' the man

replied.

He was in obvious agony, lying in the fetal position, still clasping

his hands together at his groin. At her persistence, however, he

finally allowed her to help.

She gently took his hands away and laid them to the side, loosened

his pants and put her hands inside. She administered tender and

artful massage for several long moments and asked 'How does that

feel?'

He replied, 'It feels great, but I still think my thumb's broken.'

~~~~~~~~~~*********~~~~~~~~~~

A dog is truly a man's best friend.

If you don't believe it, just try this experiment.

Put your dog and your wife in the trunk of the car for an hour.

When you open the trunk, who is really happy to see you?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~***********~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I was shopping at the local supermarket where I selected:

A half-gallon of 2% milk

A carton of eggs

A quart of orange juice

A head of romaine lettuce

A 2 lb. can of coffee

A 1 lb. package of bacon

As I was unloading my items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk

standing behind me watched as I placed the items in front of the

cashier.

While the cashier was ringing up the purchases, the drunk calmly

stated, "You must be single." I was a bit startled by this

proclamation, but I was intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since I

was indeed single. I looked at the six items on the belt and saw

nothing particularly unusual about my selections that could have

tipped off the drunk to my marital status.

Curiosity getting the better of me, I said: "Well, you know what,

you're absolutely right. But how on earth did you know that?" The

drunk replied, "Cause you're ugly."

That’s it 4 now folks!!