What is the STUPIDEST thing...?

Here's a couple of my finer moments...

Trying to halter Calamity Jane, a beautiful ranch bred yearling that hadn't seen people up until two weeks before I bought her. I tried everything I could think of by myself, but couldn't catch her. So I called up a cowboy buddy of mine. We ran her in a chute in the barn where we used to AI cattle. I put a board in the slots behind her so she couldn't back up when he went to put the halter on. She backed up, hit the board, it came loose so I grabbed it and held it in place. WHAM! She kicked the board hitting my fingers. Cowboy sees my fingers bleeding and asks if I'm ok- I say yeh, just get the ******* halter on her. Long story short, I had 3 black fingernails and ended up loosing them eventually. Real attractive when I was bartending at the time!

Another one of my genious moments-I put my old gelding out on a picket line to graze. About 10 years ago he had all the grass eaten down around the handy trees, fences, etc. He was used to the picket line so I got the idea of tying him up to 2 cement blocks and putting them in the areas he couldn't reach. Worked great, when the line got tight, he knew not to go any further. Until one day a friend pulled in with a horse trailer (I didn't know she was stopping by or I wouldn't have had him out there) and my old boy got all wound up, and came galloping, cement blocks bouncing behind him. The first one was in pieces when he got up to the yard, and as he came around the barn the other block swung wide, bounced, and hit the "Red Lemon" (work car) and broke out a tail light. Horse stopped when he got up to the horse trailer. My friend just stood there, eyes wide and jaw dropped open. Then she made a comment about things never being boring out here! Needless to say I started pounding in steel posts here and there instead of cement blocks.

Last one, this same friend and I would ride to town and the bar had what we called a "ride up window" where we would tap and order, the bartender would bring it out back for us. Worked great until one day I was in a growley mood, and there was this airhead fluff working. We tapped, and she ignored us. Wrong thing to do. We go around front, lean down, open the door, and ride our horses in, laid cash on the bar, and ordered. She didn't say anything, but gave us our order and we rode out, scratching up the old hardwood floor. We called up the owner, volunteering to re-varnish the floor but the owner laughed and said don't worry about it, people need something to talk about!

Come on, Jeff! We won't think any less of you, lets hear your story!

Kicking Bear-it takes a real man to admit to that story! That's a good one! lol

Well, I'll tell you the stupidest thing my MOM ever did...

I got my first horse at 11, after 5 years of riding and experience with green and/or crazy horses. I got an 8 year old mare that had only been ridden/handled for 2 months. We also got a companion horse who was well trained and my mom started taking lessons on her. One day I was riding my horse during her lesson on the other horse, then I wanted to jump the other horse out in the field, so left my mom holding my horse. The instructor asked if my mom wanted to try riding my horse and my mom said no, so the instructor left the ring. Then, alone in the ring, my mom changes her mind and tries to get on. She had only been riding for a very short time and must have done something while getting on because my horse took off, my mom hit the hard dirt and broke her pelvis.

Later, I used to get on this same horse anywhere in the field with no bridle or halter and gallop flat out to the barn. It always turned out okay because she always ran straight for the barn, didn't buck and then stopped when she got there. I also took her swimming, rode through culverts under a 6 lane divided highway, rigged up old belts and longe lines to make her tow me on skis, and did many other not so smart and probably dangerous things, but it all turned out fine.

My first horse was a Quarter Horse mare. She had been a cutting horse and could turn on a dime. I decided I would try jumping her. I was running her up to a jump and just as we got up to it she immediately turned to the left. I was left in the air. Where did I ever get the idea she would be a jumper?

P.S.

I think your's was great. Because he was a cowpony, he probably thought he'd roped a strange kind of steer and the handle bars were the horns. That's why he backed up. To keep the rope tight.

I am quite honestly too embarrassed to tell you the stupidest thing I have ever done. But if someone can top mine I'll fess up. If not then no way no how am I gonna rat myself out (LOL)! And no you do not have me beat. The only difference was I was never in danger.

OK Bunny this is the single dumbest thing I have ever did. It nearly cost my stud colt's life. Granted it was done on pure instinct and reflex but it was REALLY STUUUUUPIIID!

I was cleaning brush and brambles off an electric fence which runs the interior of my studs fence. Actually I was extending the fence a little which is why I had a LOT of limbs to cut. I was using a hand forged hand axe that was literally sharp enough to slice meat like a knife blade. So here I was calmly cutting off branches. Paying attention to where my stud was. Then he left for the other end of the field so I dropped my guard. I hadn't moved ten feet when he snuck up behind me and grabbed my shirt to play. I was startled! So I whirled around to deal with whatever it was. As I whirled I slapped out with the axe. In midair I realized what had grabbed my shirt and tried to turn the axe and stop it at the same time.

I managed to slow the strike so it barely touched him, but in my haste to turn the blade I turned it the wrong direction. Thank God it barely touched him. It still cut him dead center of his throat, right in front. It was just through the skin but I actually had to sew him up to prevent a scar. The whole time he just stood there as if he was asking "What did you do that for?"

From that day on I decided I would put him up before I trim the fence or use anything sharp for that matter.

I was a novice ok I will NEVER do this again...Its so embarrassing but here I go

Me and my friend were trail riding (are instructor walking and leading the way) we got to an spot with a shed or something and a road across the road were houses.For some reason my friends horse took off! (so sad her horse was the leader of all the other horses at that stable) so my horse started trotting after her and my friend was screaming to me (I think she dropped the reins) I kissed and went after her but my horse was lazy and in the background I could hear my instructor telling my friend to jump and me to stop I finally realized what she was saying and slowed down my friend i think finally got a hold of the reins and stopped her horse (THANK GOD!) We got a lecture about horses being herd animals and learned NEVER to do that again...So for all of y'all NEVER try to out run a Alpha horse! XD

Here is one EVERYONE wonders how I survived including ME!!!

When I was 8 or 9 I came home from school & noticed our corral

had 8 of the mangiest looking horses I had ever seen. I ran in the house & changed my clothes & went back to the corrals to have a look.

One huge Buckskin walked up to the fence & let me pet it, so I decided to go in the barn & get a halter. He was a great looking horse especially compared to the others in the group of which most had tails, manes & forelocks that would rival a Fresian. I noticed they had tags stuck on their tails at the very top, so I thought dad had been to the sale yard & picked up some killer horses to be shipped off. But this one just didn't fit in. I got the halter, he slipped his nose in, I buckled it & through the gate we went. I tied him to the hitchin post & headed for the tack room to get the brushes. I just knew this horse would look like a million dollars after he was shined up a bit.

I had brushed as much of him as I could reach & was standing behind him brushing his tail as he stood sleeping, one hind leg relaxed.

I'm talking away like I ALWAYS did when I am around the horses (STILL DO) when dad came driving by. He slammed on the brakes jumped out of the truck & started freaking out....."What in the h*ll do you think you are doing?" "Do you know how lucky you are this horse didn't kick your head off?"

I just stood there dumb struck with a handful of horse tail in one hand & a pin brush in the other.

Dad stood there for a minute looking at the horse sleeping & me happy as a clam brushing this horse's tail. Then he says, "I'll be damned, this figures. Leave it up to you."

I had NO idea what he was talking about so he walked over, lift me up & asked me what the tag on the tail said. There was a number & the letters NFR.

Still not sure what the problem was, dad explained that these were National Finals Rodeo bucking stock that had been dropped off for a few days while the stock contractor went on to another rodeo.

OOPPSSS!!!!

Dad stood watching me & this big old Buckskin horse & just walked off muttering "Damn fool kid."

When the others left a few days later, the Buckskin stayed. Dad & grandad found out that the horse had been a great horse, then one day he went ballistic, flipped over backwards & dang near killed his owner. He was sold for slaughter, but this stock contractor picked him up & thought his size would make him a good pick up horse, but when you put a saddle on him he would start bucking & freaking out. So, he was added to the saddle bronc pen.

Dad & grandad retrained him & we had him for 8 years without a single days trouble out of him, then he broke his shoulder & was euthanized.

Once when I was like 8(I've known how to use the microwave since I was like 4. I just wasn't able to reach it until I was like 6)we got dinner at KFC and I got one of those kid meal things. And it came with a fruit roll up. IT was cold when we got home. So I put it in the microwave. I knew that metal or anything like metal couldn't go in the microwave, but I wasn't thinking and then when I took it out, it was all melted. My mom got mad because the microwave smelled like burned aluminum foil for a week or two. Thats about it...I'm not allowed to grill anything(I'd probably have the house on fire). I only use the oven and the stove when my mom and or dad is home.

Hummmm. One of the dumbest things I've done as an adult was - after I caught one of my mares in the pasture, I jumped on bareback (carrying an icecream bucket that I had used to catch the horses with) and started riding back with just the halter. This mare was a nice horse, and broke, but she had a real spooky, reactive side (If I was sitting in the warm-up pen at a horse show, and someone besides me started slapping their hand on their chaps with a "snap, snap", I'd have to move away since it scared this mare) All was well so I started to jog her towards home. Still good. She was jogging along so nice and smoothly I thought to my brilliant self "Let's just lope and then I'll get there quicker so I can go for a real ride". So I put her into a lope. Unfortunetely, I had to hang onto the icecream bucket, plus I had two hands on the rope (I had the rope looped to both sides so it was like a macate rein) so I had the bucket hanging off my elbow on one side. The mare caught a glimpse of the swinging bucket and decided it was a horse-eating monster. She spun around like a reining horse. I managed to cling on for the first circle, and I was trying desperately to shake the bucket off my arm so my horse would calm down. Didn't work. I finally flew off, bucket and all, and hit the ground like a lawn dart. The horse galloped back to the house. I was a bit stunned and lost my glasses in the crash. I'm blind as a bat without the glasses so I spent a long time fumbling around in the long grass, and finally found them a bit worse for wear. My one shoulder hurt like mad, my face was scratched up, and of course I wasn't wearing a helmet (which I always wear on "real" rides, but I hadn't considered this a ride, I guess) I caught the horse, but could tell I was acting and feeling kinda dopey. I ended up taking her for a ride, although my shoulder was so sore I could barely lift the saddle onto her back. She was fine, but I was dazed and sorta aware of that as we rode across the field.

When I got home I put her away. I ended up with a mild concussion out of the deal, and my shoulder had some sort of injury that took me about three months before I could sleep on that side without a pins and needles sensation.

Moral of the story. Think before you do some things. What would inspire me to ride a spooky horse bareback with just a halter in a pasture with other horses loose going towards home at a lope carrying a bucket over my elbow? You tell me.

Now, let's here Jeff's story, okay?

It wasn't necessarily stupid - but funny. So I had just gotten out of the service and was back in college for Equine Science. Having gone to the service first, I was older than the majority of the students and trying to be as serious about school as possible.

On the first day of the lab portion of class, the teacher came in and explained that one of the regular barn people was ill, and they needed a volunteer. I, being the mature and eager student, quickly volunteered. The teacher tossed me a helmet with face mask and said, "Lets go collect the stallion."

Not realizing what she was saying I politely responded, "I've worked with stallions before, what do I need this for?"

"Oh, it's just for safety." she said.

As they brought the stallion into the barn I put two and two togethor. They weren't saying "collect" the stallion as in "lets go get the stallion" no they were saying, "lets go collect his man juices."

The instructor then hands me a large PVC pipe, and I said, "No thank you, I usually expect dinner first."

She laughed and insisted saying, "We need an experienced person to get him to mount the phantom mare, and some one who can clean him off quickly before he does his work. So the only position left is the artificial vagina."

"Can we please call it something else? Please."

So we get to work. Probably the most akward 10 seconds of my life. The entire time I was trying to find my own little happy place. Desperately not focusing on the fact that about 25 young ladies (I was the only guy in the class) were watch the "articial vagina" get closer to the university stud than anyone could ever imagine.

I felt soooooooo dirty.

Not the dumbest thing I ever did - but I never volunteered in that class again until I knew what was coming.

Kicking Bear - if you learned nothing in the service, you should have learned NEVER VOLUNTEER!!!!

Well, I have some stories, they aren't quite stupid, but interesting. My instructor and I were discussing it today. first, way back in the day, immediately following a very awesome lesson and a few days before a show, I was sitting on my mare my right leg over the pommel, getting ready to unzip my chaps and get off my mare. My instructor came up to check and see how hot she was and the McDonald's cup in her hand was apparently really an evil monster. My mare spooked and I thought, well, I am getting off anyway....jumped, landed on my feet, with my left leg a bit farther out and my right more under me. I heard a snapping sound and thought it was just the zipper of the chaps. I stood up, took a few steps and fell down again. It was at this time that I realized I broke my ankle. There goes the show season....

My instructor always says I need to come up with a better story, like I was riding a rodeo horse or something. So, of course I share with her today that I wanted to ride without stirrups at the start of this season. So, I left the stirrups of my dressage saddle at home. It is about a quarter mile walk, uphill and across some creeks, to get to the ring. So, I usually get on at this old tree stump, which offers a boost, but isn't quite as high as a mounting block. Well, you know those high cantles of the dressage saddle? Yeah, pulled a muscle getting my leg over it.....was ok riding, but hobbled home.

My instructor thinks I am SO talented.

She laughs because when my mare suddenly picks her head up and looks off somewhere, instead of correcting her, I look where she is looking. She has 'trouble' multitasking, like bending AND remaining engaged....and I cannot post AND ask her to bend and flex at the same time.

Other than that, when I was 19 and my newly purchased horse was 20, we did hunter courses at the show as if they were jumper courses - 5 seconds or less (in a snaffle bit because he was fine at home....). I would laugh because I look young for my age and judges probably thought I was about 14 and would yell at me as if I was - I just laughed to myself, I'm 19, he's 20, if we want to kill ourselves over a jump course, isn't that our right as 'adults'?

In high school and college, I was either very brave or very stupid. I used to try tricks on horses, like standing on horses, riding backwards (fun until the horse starts trotting off and you aren't sure you can stop it....), I would lay on my stomach and do a flip off the horse. Two horses I started, I would go out in the field, no halter or bridle or rope, ride the one around 'pull' up to the other horse and essentially jump from one horse to the other, then ride the other around.

I'm sure there is more, but not that I can think of now.

EDIT: barnbabe, you reminded me of another one. I was talking to some guy on the phone, thinking I am all cool, talking on the phone and riding my horse in a field we had not been in - complete with horses and cows. Well, in the middle of the call, some mare decides she doesn't like my old man, so she goes after him, horse scuffle ensues. Luckily, I didn't fall off, but I did drop my phone and the guy was wondering what had happened. I almost got kicked in the leg by the other horse...

Great question! I enjoy reading all the stories!!!! I was 12yrs.One time I tried to lead my pony-Toy- up a wash bank. I was late to go home, so I wanted to cut a good 20mins off the ride..... Bad choice! The banks on it were cement. I got 1/3 way up & look back(I'm leading her) to see how she was doing. She was on her tippy toes walking up a HUGE concret bank. I couldn't turn around because she would have fell fo sure! I felt sooo bad I was crying because she could have really got hurt!! I was so surprized that she made it!

Then another time a good friend & I were riding with 3 other girls. We rode in what is called a riverbottom. All sand trails(100"s miles) with a river running threw the middle. Were I grew up we get 60-90mile hour winds. We had just had a few days of them So we were down there riding & decide to lope. I was the lead horse, so we are loping down the trails. I decide to turn around & talk to a friend & let my mare go. She knew the trail. Well a tree had fallin in the old trail, we pasted the new trail & didn't even see it. She ran smack into the tree! Broke my girth, the tree hit my shoulders & head. Knocked me out! Broke my collar bone. I couldn't ride my saddle was broke! I had to walk about 4 miles in DEEP sand all the way home. I couldn't feel the side of my head, my ear & I couldn't move my arm! LOL My good ol' mare followed me home. LOL Taught me to watch were I'm going! Then when we went to the DR they gave me a shot & it knocked me out for 3 days! My dad had to help me out of bed, couldn't get up by myself for a good 5 days. I was back riding in 2 weeks! DR said 3 months, there was NO way at that time!! Dumb girl! LOL

This one about a good 4yrs ago..... I put a brand new blanket on my 2yrs. Well she stood there for me to put it on, then just befor I was able to get the back leg latches she bolted running & the blanket sliped to the ground & she ripped it all up!!! Then as soon as it was all ripped up she came walking back to me , like well I'm done. LOL