1 April 2008?

Thanks for the laugh :)

Here's another one:

*HOW MEN AND WOMEN DIFFER*

NICKNAMES - If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.

- If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.

EATING OUT - When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in R50, even though it's only for R115.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.

- When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket

calculators.

MONEY - A man will pay R2 for a R1 item he needs.

- A woman will pay R1 for a R2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale

BATHROOMS - A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from Dischem.

- The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

ARGUMENTS - A woman has the last word in any argument.

- Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

CATS - Women love cats.

- Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick Cats.

FUTURE - A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

- A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

SUCCESS - A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

- A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

MARRIAGE - A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.

- A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.

DRESSING UP - A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the bins, answer the phone, read a book, and get the post.

- A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

NATURAL - Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.

- Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

OFFSPRING - Ah, children! A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favourite foods, secret-fears and hopes and dreams.

- A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

Any married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing.

Brilliant, thanks.

My favourites - the BMW one and the Mike Tyson one.

Reporter: "Evander, what did you think when Tyson bit off your ear?" Holyfield: "What?"

What did Mike Tyson say to Van Gogh? "You gonna eat that?"

How does Mike Tyson differ from Metallica? Metallica leaves a ringing in your ears. Tyson leaves your ear in a ring.

A lawyer returns to his parked BMW to find the headlights broken and his front bumper smashed. There's no sign of the offending vehicle, but he's relieved to see that there's a note stuck under the windshield wiper. The lawyer picks up the note. "Sorry. I just backed into your Beemer. The witnesses who saw the accident are nodding and smiling at me because they think I'm leavingmy name, address and other particulars. But I'm not."

Lol i love the one about the dog still excited to see you, the sensitive caring men having boyfriends and the Bingo lady - thanks they are all true and good, wow even the divorce one in a teeth gritting way

THE dodgers won it in the ninth on a ground ball to second baseman ray durham who bobbled the ball with la furcal on second and furcal came all the way home when durham tried to throw the hitter out at first with two outs but he was safe

LMAO!

Check this out, havent had a look at it yet:

http://aprilfoolsdayontheweb.com/2008.html

mandy - cool stuff! Consider it STOLEN! mwuh-ha-ha!

:)

Hahaha...I was about to select the ones I digg most..only to find that it's all of them.....thanks...

Haha...and big LOLZ to Mandy's jokes!

rofl what a good april fools laugh!

Charge and attack!

Great jokes!

that's funny